


I know that you'll always be my happy ending

by vanjie_love



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, Lesbian AU, Milestones, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 70,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22009594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanjie_love/pseuds/vanjie_love
Summary: Following Brooke and Vanessa and the major milestones in their lives.Fic title from Finding You by Kesha
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Comments: 21
Kudos: 84





	1. Dance with me, dance with me please

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title from Boogie Feet by Kesha 
> 
> vanjievanjievanjiebitch: so excited to write this journey with my writing buddy. Can't wait to share what we come up with.
> 
> harlotstarlet: hello, lovelies! I'm so happy to be working on this w/ my writing pal, so excited for everyone to read it!

Brooke Lynn Hytes was never a romantic person. She didn’t believe in fairytales. She didn’t believe in love at first sight, and if she was honest, she wasn’t sure she believed in love at all.

That is, until she met  _ her.  _ Vanessa.

It started out as just fun in college, something to get Brooke and Vanessa both through winter break as they were both stuck on campus.

They met the first night of break when they were out with their roommates.

“You’re going to have fun, Brooke.” Brooke’s roommate, Detox, had said, even though Brooke had made it her goal to resist as much as she could.

Brooke knew she wasn’t going to get out of it. Brooke was stubborn, but so was Detox, and even more so.

“D, we literally have three weeks to party, you can’t give me tonight?”

“Nope, get dressed, do your hair, do your makeup, look like a woman, bitch, we’re going out.”

A building across campus, a similar conversation was happening.

“Bitch, we goin out, and that’s that on that.” Vanessa stood with her hands on her hips, and a look on her face that meant business.

“Silky, we should know better than to argue with her when she gets like this.” A’keria said from her seat on Vanessa’s twin bed in the corner.

“Why tonight though? Why can’t we stay in?” Silky complained.

“Because, we celebrain’ bitch! It’s the first night of break!”

Silky huffed, but pulled her boots on anyways, and Vanessa clapped her hands in victory.

~*~

Brooke felt the bass from the speakers pound in her chest, and in her head. She needed a shot  _ now.  _ She had to admit, as she walked to the bar, that there were a lot of beautiful women. As far as clubs went, Detox sure knew the right places to go.

So maybe it wasn’t all bad. Maybe Brooke could find someone to keep her warm for the next few weeks, or maybe just tonight, she’ll see how it goes.

“What can I get for ya?” the bartender asks when she gets there.

“Two tequila shots, please.” Brooke calls over the music.

Bartender nods and gets on it. Brooke checks her phone for a second, and glances back up when the bartender puts the shots in front of her.

“How much?” Brooke asks.

The bartender shakes her head and points, “the girl down there paid for them.”

Brooke follows the bartender’s gesture, and lays eyes on probably one of the prettiest girls in the club. A tan beauty with long dark curly hair. The girl smiles and winks at Brooke, and her mouth goes dry. One of the shots was supposed to be for Detox but fuck it. Brooke downs them both, shudders at the taste, and makes her way down the bar, because her momma raised her right, and she had to give the pretty girl a  _ proper  _ thank you.

“So, do you buy all the girls shots or am I special?”

The brunette was at least a foot shorter than Brooke, she looked up at her with big, brown doe eyes and a mischievous smirk. Brooke’s knees almost gave out.

“If I think they might be worth it, then maybe I might buy them a shot, Mary.” The brunette said, “the names Vanessa.”

“Brooke Lynn. Brooke.”

“Alright, Miss Brooke,” Vanessa raised an eyebrow, “You wanna dance and show me that I didn’t waste my money?”

Brooke smirked and took a step back, gesturing to Vanessa in an  _ after you  _ sort of way. Vanessa intertwined her pinky with Brooke's and led her to the middle of the dance floor. She made sure to give the blonde a nice view of her backside.

Vanessa was a dancer, and this was very much her scene. She loved the way the club music made her feel. She let it move her body. 

Brooke loved it. Brooke was a dancer too, just not the same genre as Vanessa. She liked the way Vanessa moved her body and she let her hands rest on Vanessa's hips as they sway and grind to the music. They moved well together. Brooke felt her skin heat up at the thought of other ways hers and Vanessa's bodies would move well together. Brooke's grip on Vanessa's hips tightens a little as she becomes aware of a few sets of eyes watching them. She shrugs it off and continues to dance. A few songs pass and Brooke decides she needs more to drink so she leads Vanessa back to the bar. 

"So what are you drinking tonight?" Brooke asked. 

"Nothing specific. Nights like this I stick to shots."

Brooke nods, "tequila?" 

Vanessa returns her nod and Brooke orders.

A few shots and as many songs later, Brooke is buzzing, in many ways. The way Vanessa's body is pressed against hers is making her brain quite fuzzy. Desire is swirling in the pit of her stomach. Everything about Vanessa is dazzling, intoxicating even. From the mesmerizing sway of her hips to the faint vanilla scent of her hair. Brooke didn't want to go home without this girl tonight. 

"Want to get out of here?" Brooke finally had the courage to ask.

Vanessa turned and looked at her, an eyebrow raised skeptically, but she nodded. 

"I have to find my girls, let them know I'm good."

Brooke nodded. She had to find Detox as well, she hadn't seen her all night. She would feel bad but Detox was probably well on her way to getting laid as well. Brooke searched and searched but couldn't find her roommate anywhere. She pulled out her phone to see if she could text her but there was already a text from the other girl. 

**_Detox:_ ** _ Went home with a girl named Brianna, or was it Aquaria? I'm not sure. See ya tomorrow, bitch.  _

Brooke laughed and rolled her eyes as a pair of arms snaked around her waist and a pair of lips placed a soft kiss to the base of her neck. 

"Let's go." Vanessa said, and she took Brooke's hand and led her outside. 

Brooke scheduled a cab and then backed Vanessa against the wall while they waited. The brunette looked so small compared to her. Brooke braced herself with her left arm on the wall, her right hand finding its way to Vanessa's hip. Vanessa's hands slipped their way up Brooke's sides, she felt the muscles in the taller girls torso. She found it sexy. She found every bit of Brooke that she could see so, so sexy, and she was sure that the parts she hadn't seen yet matched. 

Brooke ghosted her fingertips along Vanessa's exposed hipbone, leaving goosebumps in its wake causing the smaller girl to shudder. The whole time, they never broke eye contact. Brooke searching Vanessa's doe eyes for something, regret maybe? She wasn't sure. Brooke's hand wandered around to Vanessa's backside, and slipping into her back pocket. She gave Vanessa's buttcheek a squeeze, causing her to let out a light Yelp. Brooke giggled and leaned down, nipping at Vanessa's earlobe. 

"Whoa," Vanessa said with a deep breath, "easy, I think our ride is here, mamí."

The nickname caused a jolt in Brooke's heart, and she tried to hide it. If Vanessa noticed, she didn't say a thing. 

Except she totally noticed and made a mental note of the reaction. 

Brooke let go and turned to look. Sure enough their ride was there. Brooke takes Vanessa's hand in hers and leads her to the car. The ride back to Brooke's dorm is tense, to say the least. Vanessa has to use all of her energy to not give the driver a show. It was tough. Brooke was hot. One glance set fire to Vanessa's skin. It made Vanessa wonder if Brooke had any idea the effect she had on women. 

Turns out Brooke knew the exact effect she had on women, she knew she was attractive but she also knew how to woo people with glances and touches, which is where it really matters. 

As they walked up flights of stairs to her third floor room, Brooke sobered up, her horny drunk thoughts no longer the in the forefront of her mind. She couldn’t help but feel that Vanessa was different from the other girls she’s walked these halls with. Brooke couldn’t put her finger on it, but something was just telling her that Vanessa was different and it made her nervous. Brooke was good at getting whatever woman she wanted into bed with her, and she didn’t seem to have any trouble with that in regards to Vanessa, who accepted her offer almost immediately. But as they walk down the dormitory hallway to her room she can’t help but feel weird about the whole thing. Like Vanessa deserves someone who will treat her like a goddess, and Brooke was sure she couldn’t give her that after a tipsy dorm room hookup that she might regret in the morning. 

When they stumble into the room, Brooke hops up on her bed and pats the spot next to her signaling for Vanessa to hop up with her. She takes Brooke up on her offer right away, though she has difficulty climbing up the risen bed, leaving Brooke giggling like mad when she finally gets up, slightly out of breath and hair frazzled from attempting to jump up so many times. 

Vanessa swats her arm and pouts one of the cutest pouts Brooke has ever seen.

“Don’t laugh at me you big meanie,” she says sticking her tongue out. 

Brooke throws her head back in laughter, “it’s cute that you’re so short.”

Being called cute seemed to placate Vanessa as she cuddles into Brooke’s side, leaving the blonde’s heart beating erratically, and not because she was still horny. She would absolutely  _ love _ to wreck Vanessa and take her apart little by little, but she finds herself wanting to get to know Vanessa first. And maybe Vanessa feels the same way, her demeanor has changed completely since they’ve left the club. Fiery and sultry Vanessa from the club had left the chat and in entered a soft and cuddly version of the girl Brooke had met before. 

“Vanessa?”

“Hmm?” Vanessa hums sleepily.

“Do you really want to hook up? I mean don’t get me wrong, I’d love to, but I think tonight we should just get to know each other some. If you don’t wanna that’s fine, because I’m still down to, yanno, I just- I don’t know. I feel like I want to get to know you too,” Brooke says, her usual air of confidence with women taking a backseat as she stumbles through her words.

Vanessa’s quiet for a moment and Brooke thinks she’s about to leave but instead she snuggles closer to Brooke, laying her head in the crook of her neck.

“Sure, baby, we can do that. What do you wanna know? I’m an open book.”

Brooke breathes a sigh of relief, “what’s your favorite color?”

Vanessa chuckles softly, “red, what’s yours?” 

“Black. Now you ask me a question.”

Vaness ponders what to ask for a moment.

“What would you do if the world was going to end in 24 hours?”

“Damn, you’re really asking the hard hitting questions here, huh?”

Vanessa shrugs, “small talk is cute, but I really wanna know who you is, Mamí. Who’s the woman behind that sexy blonde hair and them long ass legs? I wanna know.”

Brooke blushes fiercely.

“That’s fair enough,” she replies, “I think if the world was gonna end in 24 hours I’d eat. I’d eat everything.”

Vanessa cackles loudly, “you tellin’ me if you was gonna die in one day you’d eat? What you don’t eat now or somethin’?”

“I’m a ballerina, all I eat is grilled chicken and salads,” Brooke says with a shrug, “it’d be nice to have something awful but delicious for once without having to worry about being sluggish on the dance floor the next day.”

Vanessa nods along as she speaks, understanding her odd answer as she explained it. 

“Makes sense. I’m not sure I could live without McDonald’s after a hangover though, so kudos to you twinkle toes.”

“Ok, now what would  _ you _ do if the world was gonna end in a day?”

“I’d spend it with my mom. We’re super close, she’s pretty much my best friend. I’d spend every penny I had making sure her and I had the best last day ever.”

“That’s really sweet, here I am with my dumb answer about wanting to shovel shitty food in my face and your answer was actually sincere,” Brooke laughs out loud. 

“Honestly, my answer might be the same if I was stuck eating like a rabbit all the damn time,” Vanessa shudders jokingly thinking about it, “now ask me something else.”

“Ok, hmm, what’re you studying here?”

“Wow another really hard hitting question there, Brookie,” Vanessa teases, poking her side.

“Hey! You can tell a lot about someone by their major!” 

Vanessa holds her hands up in defense, “you right, you right. I’m studying nursing, I’m gonna be a nurse just like my momma.”

“You must be really smart then,” Brooke says with a smile, “I could never do anything like that. Medical mumbo jumbo confuses me.”

“I bet you’re good at other things. Like I bet you’re an amazing dancer. You must be if you’ve committed to eating leaves for it. So, are you a dance major or is it just a favorite hobby?”

“Dance major, I wanna be a prima ballerina at the New York ballet,” Brooke answers, a light in her eyes.

“And I bet you will, even if I ain’t seen them twinkle toes in action yet,” Vanessa says, fighting off a yawn.

“Do you wanna go to sleep? You can sleep here if you want, I’ll sleep in my roommate’s bed.”

“You’re so warm, though, and it’s so cold,” she whines, wrapping her arms around Brooke’s middle.

“Do you want to sleep in the same bed as me?”

“Only if that’s ok with you, I promise I’m a great cuddler.”

Vanessa drives her point home by nuzzling into Brooke’s neck, pressing a light kiss to the skin there. 

“Lets cuddle then,” Brooke decides, moving to a laying position, scooting close to the wall so Vanessa can fit next to her.

As Vanessa snuggles up to her side, Brooke can’t help but think they fit so well next to each other. 

That’s the last thought that crosses Brooke’s mind as she drifts off to sleep, being pulled under by the sweet scent of Vanessa’s hair in her nose.


	2. I wanna be your baby, your angel all in black, your little blue eyed gypsy who's always got your back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at Brooke and Vanessa's first few dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from 'hunt you down' by kesha

That morning Brooke wakes up to a small, warm body curling around her and there’s a pang of anxiety in her chest before she remembers. Remembers Vanessa, who’d she’d taken home from the club with the intention of getting to know her in one way but instead ended up getting to know her in another way. 

Without moving too much she reaches across Vanessa and grabs her phone. The fact that it’s almost noon is almost as alarming as the two missed calls and four missed texts from Detox. 

**Detox:** bitch I’m on my way back, you want me to grab you a coffee?

**Detox:** hoe, open the door, my hands are full

**Detox:** now I see why you didn’t open the door. She’s cute, B, nice job

**Detox:** I’ll be at Nina’s, text me when you wake up and get ready to spill about the cutie in your bed ;)

Brooke rolls her eyes at her friend’s antics, always so ready to gossip about any and everything. She starts to play a game on her phone when Vanessa starts to stir, her eyes opening slowly.

“Hey,” she says, her voice gravelly with sleep. It makes Brooke’s heart melt.

“Good morning, did you sleep well?”

“Mmhmm, you’re nice to sleep with,” she murmurs, somehow pressing herself even closer.

Brooke smirks playfully, “Oh, I am, am I?”

“Yea, and you ain’t too bad to look at either, Mamí.”

Brooke laughs, “even when I just woke up?”

“Even when you just woke up,” Vanessa confirms with a smile. 

“You could say the same for yourself, cutie,” Brooke muses, gently ruffling Vanessa’s hair. 

“Pfft, you’re just sayin’ that cuz I’m still in your bed.”

Brooke gasps, feigning offense, “I would never!”

“Whatever you say, blondie.”

They stare at each other for a minute and Vanessa’s sure they’re gonna kiss until Brooke promptly pulls away, her nerves getting the best of her. Last night Brooke had stood tall in her best heels, with her makeup and hair done meticulously and the confidence flowed from her, now Brooke was soft and sleepy with no makeup and frizzy hair and she was  _ nervous _ . Usually, all the women she’d had in her bed would be gone shortly after they’d finished, but Vanessa had slept here, and she had  _ only  _ slept here. Whatever was going on here was out of the ordinary for Brooke and something told her she didn’t wanna ruin it. 

“Let me take you out,” Vanessa says suddenly, pulling Brooke from her nervous spiral.

“Um, ok. Wait, really, though?”

“Of course, you seem sweet. Most of these girls here would’ve had me kicked outta they bed as soon as they were done. You’re different, and I wanna see more,” Vanessa says sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind Brooke’s ear.

“I’m free Friday?”

“Perfect, I’ll pick you up at 7. But, I gotta go now, I’ve got work in two hours.”

Brooke’s a little disappointed she has to leave so soon, but she has Friday to look forward to now.

“I’ll see you Friday,” Vanessa says, pressing a kiss to Brooke’s cheek before hopping off the bed and gathering her things to leave.

Before leaving Vanessa stops in the doorway, blowing a kiss to Brooke.

“Bye, Mamí.”

Brooke bids her own goodbyes as Vanessa leaves, closing the door behind her.

Once she’s gone Brooke can’t help but let out an excited squeal, it’d been so long since she’s felt actual butterflies in her tummy over a girl and she thinks maybe finally it’s happening again, and so what if she’s acting like a love-obsessed teenage girl. Something tells her Vanessa is worth that. 

Friday comes and Brooke is a whirlwind of nerves and excitement. She spends hours getting ready and trying on outfits in front of Detox.

Finally, she decides on a short denim skirt and a crop top. When she puts the finishing touches on her makeup her phone lights up with a text from Vanessa.

**Vanessa** : I’m outside, babe!

Brooke’s cheeks heat up more than she’d like to admit at the nickname.

She fires off a reply and grabs her things, ignoring Detox’s wolf whistles as she struts out the door.

Outside, Vanessa leans against the passenger door of her car. She looks adorable in her tight black jeans and oversized denim jacket as she waves Brooke over to her.

“Hey, beautiful,” Vanessa says with a wink, “you look great.”

Brooke blushes a deep red, “thanks, so do you.”

Vanessa leans in for a kiss on the cheek before opening the passenger door for Brooke, who gets in gratefully. 

“So, where are you taking me?” Brooke wonders once they’ve started driving.

“I was thinkin’ we could go to that roller skating rink downtown? You know how to rollerskate?”

Brooke laughs nervously, “I’ve never done it before.”

“Well, it’s all about balance and I’m sure you’ve got that down to a science, twinkle toes.”

Brooke laughs, the nickname making her feel all warm and giggly inside. 

“We’ll see about that.”

  
  


As it turns out, Vanessa was right. The balance part came easy to Brooke, once she got the movement down she was zipping around the rink like crazy, towing Vanessa by the hand behind her. 

“Bitch, slow down before I fall and break my ass!” Vanessa shouts as Brooke whizzes past people, still stringing Vanessa along.

“You were the one that planned this, I’d figure you’d know how,” Brooke teases, finally slowing down so that Vanessa’s next to her.

“Well, you figured wrong, I figured wrong. We all figured wrong,” Vanessa replies with a giggle, followed by a gasp when she inevitably loses her balance and starts to go down. Brooke’s quick to react, grabbing her arm in an attempt to keep her up. Her plan backfires as Vanessa goes down anyway, taking Brooke with her.

“Oh my god, are you ok?” Vanessa asks frantically. 

“Yeah, fuck, I’m ok,” Brooke says, trying to stand on her sore knees. 

Once she’s up and stable she extends a hand for Vanessa to take. Vanessa takes her hand and allows for Brooke to pull her up.

“Are you alright, Nessa?”

Vanessa blushes, maybe in embarrassment, maybe at Brooke’s little nickname, she doesn’t know, but she nods anyway.

“I’m alright. You don’t suppose we can go eat now, can we?” 

Brooke smiles in spite of herself, “sure, I suppose I am working up an appetite towing your ass all around.”

Vanessa scoffs, “hey, you coulda left my ass in the dust.”

“I would never do such a thing!” she gasps in mock offense, “especially not when you’re this cute.”

Blushing again, Vanessa giggles and holds onto Brooke’s hips while they make their way across the rink and out of the skating area where the food is.

They order a pretzel and a coke to split, opting for taking off their skates and sitting at the table in their socks.

“I’m having a really good time, Brooke,” Vanessa says at one point, a small smile etched onto her face.

“Me too. I haven’t had a date this good in a long time,” Brooke admits sheepishly.

“I’m glad you feel the same way then.”

They spend the rest of the night laughing and talking and getting to know each other more and more. By the time they’re back in Vanessa’s car it’s near midnight. They were so wrapped up in each other they had barely noticed the roller rink closing around them.

The conversation continues on the way home, so much so that Brooke doesn’t even register her own surroundings as Vanessa pulls up to her building.

“We’re here, babe,” Vanessa says suddenly, breaking Brooke’s concentration on the story she was being told.

“Huh?” she looks around, her surroundings finally dawning on her, “oh, I’m home.”

A familiar anxiety knots in her chest. It had been a wonderful date on Brooke’s end, but should she try to kiss her? What if Vanessa thinks it’s too soon? What if she had misread signals and really Vanessa couldn’t wait to get her out of her car? The tornado of anxious thoughts that swirl through Brooke’s brain are silenced when Vanessa leans over and presses a kiss to her cheek. Brooke supposes she could deal with that, for now.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I had a good time,” Vanessa whispers, almost as if she could read Brooke’s anxiety like a book.

“Me neither.”

“I guess this is goodbye then. For now.”

Brooke smiles shyly, “goodnight, Nessa.”

“Goodnight, B. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Okay,” Brooke says as she steps out of the car, blowing a kiss before shutting the door and heading towards the building. 

She barely makes it into her own door before Detox throws her book down, demanding details. 

Brooke blushes slightly, biting her lip, “she’s amazing, D. I think something good is gonna come of this.”

“Awwe! That’s so cute, now you owe me twenty bucks, bitch!”

Brooke cocks an eyebrow at her roommate, “for?”

“Remember freshman year when you, and I quote, said ‘I’m not the dating type’ and I said ‘yeah, right. I bet you twenty bucks you’re in love before senior year’, and now here we are, so pay up hoe.”

“Hey, it’s been one date. I’m not in love with the girl yet,” Brooke teases, sticking her tongue out in Detox’s direction. 

“Well, just make sure you put a nice crisp twenty to the side for me so that it’s ready to go when y’all get there.”

Brooke rolls her eyes and tosses a pillow across the room, making her roommate shriek with laughter. 

That night when her head hits the pillow, all that’s on her mind is Vanessa, her smile, her warm eyes, her soft hair, everything about her fills Brooke’s thoughts to the brim.

The next few weeks are filled with more and more interactions between Vanessa and Brooke. On a Wednesday, they went for a walk in the park and got ice cream. 

On a Friday, they went bowling, and Vanessa laughed so hard, her sides hurt. Brooke spent most of the evening doing spins and dips as she sent the bowling ball down the lane. Everybody was watching, but Brooke didn't care, not when Vanessa was looking at her like  _ that _ .

On a Saturday, they went to the zoo. Vanessa enjoyed dragging Brooke through the different exhibits while she made up stories and names and voices for the different animals, keeping Brooke thoroughly entertained. 

There were thoughts and worries weighing on each of the girl's minds though. They still hadn't kissed properly, and it was causing Brooke to spiral.

And Vanessa, Vanessa couldn’t help but think the same. Brook hadn’t given her any signals that she wanted anything more than a friendship. She had a habit of getting too serious, too fast, and she definitely didn’t want to ruin things, so she let Brooke take the reigns. Except that she doesn’t, every time either of them think it’s gonna go somewhere, it  _ just doesn’t. _

It all comes to a head on the last Sunday of the break, both of them would be resuming classes bright and early the next morning, so they sat in Vanessa’s room, readying their bags. Vanessa had made sure her planner was all filled out while Brooke laced her brand new pointe shoes and babbled about how excited she was that she  _ finally  _ had gotten a spot in Professor Edwards’ techniques class, supposedly she was great to network with if you were on her good side.

Vanessa loved listening to Brooke talk about dancing, really, she did. She loved the way Brooke’s eyes would light up and how she spoke too fast when she was  _ really  _ excited. But right now, she could barely focus on any of that. Her brain was too busy thinking of all the ways she could have fucked this up. She had figured going home together and then a date would solidify her wants to be more than friends, but she wasn’t getting that vibe from Brooke  _ at all _ . 

And Brooke, as much as she wanted Vanessa to be more than friends with her, she was just as scared. She was okay with intimacy in a casual setting, but getting close to Vanessa over the past few weeks made her realize how scared she is of fucking this all up. 

That Sunday night feels different, tense almost. Like there’s something both of them need to say, but  _ won’t,  _ or can’t in Brooke’s case. So Brooke fills the silence with her excitement for dance because that was  _ easy _ . It was easy to talk about compared to what was sitting on the tip of her tongue. 

Vanessa’s the one who finally breaks the awkward barrier.

“Brooke,” she sighs, “what are we doing?”

Brooke sucks in a breath, she should’ve known it would’ve had to come eventually.

Still, her nerves get the best of her, and she pretends she’s confused, deflecting the situation.

“What do you mean? I thought we were just getting ready for tomorrow? We could go out and do something if you’re bored-.”

Vanessa cuts her off, “you know that’s not what I mean, Brooke.”

Well, so much for that.

“I don’t know then, Nessa.”

“Okay, well, what do you want from this? I thought you taking me home and accepting my date offer was you saying you were looking for something more than a friendship. Don’t get me wrong, B, I’ve enjoyed your friendship very much, but I-”

The surge of confidence in Brooke surprises both her and Vanessa as she cuts the other girl off with a soft hand on her cheek.

“Can I kiss you?”

Vanessa’s cheeks turn red underneath the attention as she nods eagerly. 

“Please,” she whispers, her eyes fluttering shut as Brooke closes the distance between them, pressing her soft lips against Vanessa’s.

When they pull apart they rest their foreheads together, catching their breath after the kiss left them breathless.

“Will you go on another date with me?” Brooke asks, her voice soft as if she spoke too loud it’d ruin everything.

“I’ve been waiting for weeks for you to ask me,” Vanessa admits sheepishly.

“I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna come dancing with me?”

“At the club,” Vanessa asks, a curious tilt to her voice. She’d enjoyed dancing at the club with Brooke before, but she figured maybe they’d do something that’d allow them to talk more, to get to know each other a bit more.

“Um, no,” Brooke stutters, her anxiety returning full force, “I have some studio time for a couple hours on Friday and I was wondering if maybe you’d want to come. I can teach you some things. Only if you want to! I won’t be mad if you think it sounds boring or something.”

Vanessa feels her heart flutter in her chest, Brooke was just so fucking  _ cute.  _

“Of course I’ll come with you. I’ve been dying to see them twinkle toes in action.”

The first week of the semester is always crazy, classes in full swing with a new schedule and trying to find time for other things was always hard. And neither Brooke or Vanessa had time to see each other all week. Which meant by the time Friday rolled around, they were both jumping at the bit to see each other, even though they’d spent all week texting back and forth nonstop. Brooke sends Vanessa pictures of herself all sweaty and hair mussed after her dance classes and Vanessa sends her selfies in her scrubs in return. By Friday, both of them have enough pictures of each other to show all their friends a new one each time.

At 5 on Friday, Brooke pulls up outside of Vanessa’s building and her excitement shows on her face with a glowing smile. Vanessa’s waiting for her, leaning against the brick wall in short shorts and a crop top. Brooke’s mouth nearly goes dry at the sight of her tan legs when she gets into the car.

“Hey, Mami!” she greets, enthusiastically leaning in for a quick kiss, “I missed you this week.”

“I missed you too, Ness. You look great,” Brooke says with a blush, her own modest leggings and sweater suddenly feeling much too warm. 

“You do too! Even though I can’t see that booty in them leggings while you sit,” Vanessa teases, watching Brooke’s cheeks turn pink.

“Ugh, oh my god, you’re too much.”

Vanessa winks at her cheekily, “you like it.”

Brooke shrugs, because really, she does like the attention, even if it embarrassingly causes her cheeks to turn several shades of red and pink. 

The conversation flows easily as Brooke drives them to the other side of town towards her favorite studio. Vanessa talks about her class where she gets to shadow nurses at the local hospital, and in turn, Brooke tells her all about how tough Professor Edwards is, but how she can feel herself becoming a better dancer with each class she attends. 

When they get there, Brooke checks them in and heads down to the room she’d booked, all the way in the back. 

Upon entering the empty room, Brooke tosses her bag to the side and sits on the floor as she starts lacing up her satin pink pointe shoes, brand new that her mother had sent her for Christmas. 

Vanessa watched her intently, it was so intriguing to see Brooke so in her element, even if she hadn’t actually started dancing yet. 

“So, you can actually stand up in them things?” Vanessa asks once her shoes are on and laced.

Brooke smirks, rising up on relevé with poise and grace. If she didn’t tower over Vanessa before, she certainly did now.

Vanessa’s left speechless for a moment, it was honestly incredible to her that Brooke was able to do that without so much as shaking even a little bit. 

“I wanna show you the dance I’ve been working on for the spring showcase,” Brooke says once she’s back on her feet all the way.

The way Brooke’s eyes twinkle with excitement make Vanessa’s head swim with her own excitement.

“I can’t wait to see it,” Vanessa says sincerely.

Brooke shyly smiles as she makes her way across the room to the stereo that she hooks her phone up to. She presses play and takes her position in the middle of the room, the center stage where she belongs.

The soft music that flows through the speakers is so unlike anything Vanessa listens to, usually preferring pumping base and cutting lyrics, but the way Brooke gracefully takes off spinning makes Vanessa not want to hear or see anything else ever again. Brooke’s lithe body looks so elegant, it’s hard not to picture her on stage in a sparkling tutu, rather than her leggings and sweater. Though, Vanessa’s sure that if Brooke danced like that wearing exactly that in front of a crowd, they’d fall just as deeply in love with her as if she was all done up. Even despite the immense effort, she knows Brooke puts into her dancing, her face remains calm and peaceful, like the way she moves is completely effortless. 

When the music comes to a stop, Brooke does as well, landing in an elegant pose. Vanessa can’t help but erupt in excited shouts and clapping. 

“Brooke, that was fucking amazing. You’re so fucking beautiful, it’s crazy.”

Brooke’s skin burns at the praise, embarrassment prickling up her spine.

“You think so?”

“Bitch! I know so, I ain’t ever seen anything like it before. You crazy talented, mama.”

“Thanks, V,” she says, grinning shyly.

“You should teach me some of that spinny shit, though,” Vanessa adds with a wink.

“Alright, let's do it. Here,” she says, tossing a satin bag over to Vanessa, “put these on.”

Inside the bag, there’s a pair of soft, light pink ballet slippers.

“They were mine when I was younger, but don’t worry, they’re clean and all that! I figured we didn’t already wear the same size, so I had my mom wash and ship an old pair here for you to use.”

Vanessa smiles at the thought of a younger Brooke, round-faced and still nieve, spinning and twirling across hardwood floors, dreaming that someday she’d be able to dance like the older girls she’d see at her studio.

“That’s sweet of you, Brooke, thank you,” she says, pulling the slippers on, “and they fit perfectly. You got real good intuition, mamas.”

Brooke throws her head back in laughter, “let’s get to dancing, shall we?”

The next two hours are filled with laughter, sweet but quick kisses, and most of all more laughter. Turns out, being able to throw it down in the club didn’t give Vanessa even the slightest clue when it came down to ballet. The dancing she was used to was free, all you had to do was feel the beat of the music and move. Ballet was controlled and full of rules, rules that didn’t quite stick in Vanessa’s head as she immediately forgot first, second, and third position right after Brooke had shown her. Though, the fact that she wasn’t getting it, didn’t stop them from having the best time. They laughed as Brooke twirled around her in circles, making herself dizzy. They giggled as Vanessa slid across the floor and nearly slipped. They kissed as Brooke held her close and spun her gently.

When their time is almost up, they sit on the floor and stretch their sore legs out as they lean into each other.

“Thanks for showing me your world, B,” Vanessa whispers softly.

Brooke smiles and kisses her head, “you’re welcome. I wanted to show you.”

“Wait, before we go, can I try to stand up in your shoes?”

“My pointe shoes?” Brooke asks, amused.

“Yeah, I wanna see if I can.”

Brooke shrugs, “I don’t see why not. I can spot you.”

Brooke unlaces her shoes and hands them off to Vanessa, helping her lace them up. 

“Okay, just stand on your tiptoes, slowly,” Brooke coaches, her hands on Vanessa’s hips for good measure. 

Vanessa slowly rises up, her height coming close to matching Brooke’s.

“Hey, look! I’m doing it,” Vanessa chirps, excitedly, “and we’re almost the same height now.”

Brooke rolls her eyes affectionately, leaning slightly to kiss her. Vanessa sighs contently into the kiss, though the second she loses concentration on staying up, her ankle gives out and she falls to the floor, the pain shooting up her leg.

“Oh my god, Vanessa!” Brooke shrieks, kneeling next to her.

“Fuck, Brooke, it fucking hurts. Take off the shoe gently,” she instructs, her nursing training kicking in.

“Ok, ok, just, just stay still.”

Brooke kneels next to her, unlacing the shoe with delicate fingers, revealing Vanessa’s swollen ankle,

“Fuck, Ness. It’s swollen, can you move it?” 

Vanessa moves it slightly, more pain radiating from her foot.

“I think it’s just sprained, can you help me up?”

“Can I please take you to the ER? What if it’s broken or something?” Brooke says, her voice showing her panic.

“Ok, ok, but you’re gonna need to help me up still.”

“I’m gonna carry you, I don’t think you should put any weight on it.”

“Brooke, you don’t have t-” 

Brooke cuts off Vanessa’s protests by lifting her up, carrying her through the studio bridal style. Though, her ankle is literally throbbing she can’t help the blush that rises to her cheeks as Brooke holds her tightly.

Brooke speeds them to the hospital way too fast.

When they get there and Vanessa’s given paperwork and a wheelchair to sit in, she tells Brooke she doesn’t need to wait with her. Even though Brooke is yawning and nodding off in the chair next to her, she proclaims she’s not gonna leave.

It’s nearly midnight when they finally get called into the exam room, and both of them couldn’t be more relieved. The pain had subsided a bit while they waited and if it wasn’t for Brooke’s protests she would’ve left by now.

“Miss Mateo?” the doctor says as he walks into the room.

Vanessa half-heartedly raises her hand, “that’s me.”

“Okay, so I’ve reviewed your x-rays, and it does look to be just a sprain, but your girlfriend made the right call by bringing you in to make sure. Better safe than sorry,” he says with a chuckle.

While Vanessa’s relieved to hear it’s just a sprain, she can’t seem to get calling Brooke her girlfriend out of her head. They seem to kiss a lot, are they  _ girlfriends  _ now? They had said earlier that neither of them was seeing anyone else at the moment, with no plans to as well. Maybe it’s the painkillers making her feel weird, but she can’t help but feel all warm inside at the thought of Brooke being her girlfriend.

Little does Vanessa know, Brooke’s having the same thoughts from across the room.

“I’ll be back shortly with some ace bandages and some prescription pain killers,” the doctor says, interrupting their thoughts.

“Okay, thanks doc,” Vanessa replies with a fake smile.

Once he’s gone they turn to each other and burst out laughing at the awkwardness of it all.

“Is that something you want?” Brooke asks, nervously picking at her nail.

“Is what something I want?”

“Um, to-to be girlfriends. Do you, like wanna be  _ my  _ girlfriend?” 

Vanessa laughs loudly, throwing her head back, “of course I do. I’d love to be your girlfriend,” Vanessa says, puckering her lips for a kiss, one that Brooke happily gives her.

That night after Brooke helps Vanessa to her place and sends her to bed with a kiss, she heads home with a seemingly permanent smile etched onto her face. 

When she gets back to her room, she fishes through her wallet for a twenty, that she places on Detox’s pillow as she sleeps. 

  
  



	3. Tangled up in your sheets, you saw the real me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lovebirds celebrate some firsts.
> 
> Chapter title from Wherever you are by Kesha. Are you noticing a theme? Sorry not sorry.

Brooke has never had a date for Valentine's day. Her and Vanessa have only been  _ official  _ for a month and she wants to make it perfect. She has learned that Vanessa is a romantic, and she knows that she probably has to be top notch on her game to impress her girl. 

This has Brooke somewhat stressed. That's not the only thing bothering Brooke either. Brooke and Vanessa havent even  _ discussed _ having sex, which is strange, given the nature of how they met. Brooke is also a sexual person, and she can't believe she has gone this long without undressing her tan beauty. There have been many a late night makeout session where Brooke has to control herself for fear of scaring Vanessa off. This whole relationship feels different. She was afraid to even mention sex. She doesn't want Vanessa to get the wrong idea of her. 

_ Maybe she's not attracted to me.  _ Brooke thinks to herself one lonely night after a particularly heated session that didn't lead to a thing more, just passionate, needy kisses. 

_ That's stupid,  _ Brooke thinks to herself a minute later,  _ if she wasnt she wouldn't date me. _

_ Maybe she is abstinent,  _ Another thought that crosses Brooke's mind,  _ no because then she wouldn't have agreed to come home with me the first night. _

Brooke was not vain by any means but she knew she was attractive. There's nothing wrong with knowing you're attractive. Which is why she couldn't figure out why they hadn't taken that next step yet. 

"Well don't ask her or nothin." Detox said when Brooke decided to air her concerns to her roommate. 

"How do I do that without making her think I'm not  _ only  _ interested in sex?"

"Bitch, you guys have dated for weeks, I think you've proven you want more than just sex."

Brooke knew where Detox was coming from but still felt uneasy. She really  _ really  _ liked Vanessa and did not want to fuck this up. 

Brooke didn't know but Vanessa was going through it too. 

Across campus, Vanessa was throwing a tennis ball at her wall and catching it, trying to let out her frustrations. 

This last month with Brooke had been so lovely but something was missing. Vanessa wanted to touch her, to feel her skin. She wanted the intimacy of it. She had gone over the many makeout sessions in her head. She wanted them to go farther, wanted to explore Brooke, learn what made her fall apart. 

"Vanessa!" there was a pounding on the door and A'keria's voice rang throughout the dorm, "open the door."

Vanessa rolled her eyes and groaned, but got up and opened her door for A'keria.

"Bitch, do you mind?" 

"What's your damage?" Vanessa asked, eyebrows raised.

"Sis, you're literally pounding on my wall. I'm tryna study!" 

_ Shit.  _ Vanessa didn't know A'keria would be in her room. 

"Sorry, mama. Just tryna let out some frustrations." 

"Well why don't you do somethin quieter? Like get laid?" A'keria cackled, but Vanessa flinched at her words. 

Vanessa flushed with embarrassment. She's never felt so uneasy about sex before. But the thought of talking with Brooke about it makes her so nervous. 

"Why you blushin like a lil school girl, Vanj?" 

Vanessa hesitated, but A'keria's eyes softened and she raised her eyebrows encouragingly. 

"Kiki, we ain't had sex yet. We ain't even talk about it. I dunno how to bring it up. I'm stressin, Kiki, I'm stressin big time." Vanessa starts pacing, and rambling, A'keria only catching the words  _ sex  _ and  _ talk  _ and  _ awkward. _

"Vanessa." A'keria says, but it falls upon deaf ears, "Vanessa" she says again, louder, but still Vanessa is rambling, "VANJIE!" 

Vanessa's head snapped up at the use of her nickname. 

"What?" She said, shaking off the daze. 

"You guys need to talk about it. Repeat after me: communication."

"Communi- communo- fuck. Comm-uni-ca-tion." Vanessa said, finally sounding it out.

She had difficulty with words when she was nervous. 

"Good job. Yes communication is key here. You  _ have _ to talk to her about it, Vanjie." 

Vanessa nodded. 

"Obviously, if yall are in it for the long haul, going to be a topic of discussion sooner or later. You might as well get it over with." A'keria gave her friend a moment to process her words, she's never seen Vanessa so out of sorts before, normally she's so confident, "just be honest with her."

"Honest. Yes."

Back across campus, Brooke was tired of Detox's half assed advice.

_ ("They're good tips and you know it!" _

_ "Saying 'you wanna fuck?' is not a good tip, you idiot!") _

Brooke left Detox in their dorm and went down the hall to visit another friend, Nina, who she figured would have better advice. Nina hadn't met Vanessa yet, but she had heard plenty from her friend. 

"Brooke in the three years I've known you, you've never been this deep for a girl." Nina said, in awe at how smitten her friend was. 

"I've never met anyone like her, Nina. She is very special. I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up."

"You probably will, B." Nina said, deadpan. 

Brooke's jaw drops open, but before she can say anything, Nina holds her hands up.

"I'm sorry, I was joking. You're not going to mess anything up, B. Everything will be ok. You need to talk to her, especially if you plan on this being a long term thing."

Brooke nods. She  _ does _ want it to be long term. Well. As long as that's what Vanessa wants too. They have been taking it slow, but Brooke just felt like her and Vanessa had a future together. They just worked. She hoped she wasnt getting too far ahead of herself. 

"What are you guys doing for Valentine's day?" Nina asked, pulling Brooke from her thoughts.

"I made reservations at one of the nicer restaurants downtown." Brooke said, smiling shyly. 

"And after dinner? Maybe some dessert?" Nina punctuated 'dessert' with a wink, and Brooke felt her cheeks heat up. 

"Yeah, maybe." Brooke smiles.

Sex for the first time on Valentine's day? Sounds like a cliché  _ Hallmark  _ movie, but very much the kind of thing that Vanessa is into.

Vanessa was thinking the same thing. She decided to bite the bullet and book the room. If Brooke didn't like it or wasn't ready, they didn't have to do anything, but at least the option is there. She books the room and then sends a quick text to Brooke.

**Vanessa:** hi baby dont make after dinner plans for vday, because its gonna be  **_v-day_ ** haha get it? V? Vanessa?

Brooke reads the text and laughs so loud that Nina about jumps out of her skin.

"I hope you have a good reason for scaring the crap out of me!" Nina said, hand over her heart.

Brooke shows Nina the text and Nina doesn't know whether to laugh, be embarrassed at the joke, or applaud the joke as it is so lame, but also something Nina herself would say. Nina definitely doesn't understand why Brooke laughed to hard but she's sure it has to do with the Vanessa of it all. 

Nina rolls her eyes at the text, "wow she's a real comedian isn't she?" She laughs. 

"I think you'll really like her Nina!" Brooke said, Nina's sarcasm lost on her. 

**Brooke:** Yes, V, I get the joke, haha, I can't wait to see you :)

Brooke had almost completely checked out of the conversation with Nina for a minute, her mind going to what Vanessa could possibly have planned for the night. Images pass through her mind of a few options, she just hoped she's not reading too much into it. 

**Vanessa:** phew glad not joke didn't go to waste. What's the dress code for dinner?

Brooke thought about it for a second. The restaurant was super fancy. The thought of Vanessa all dolled up for her made her heart race. 

**Brooke:** fancy ;) 

Brooke felt her cheeks get warm.

"Brooke Lynn?" Nina's voice rang, pulling Brooke from her thoughts, "Any particular reason you're smiling like an idiot right now?" 

"Huh?" Brooke said, finally looking up, "oh, um, sorry, finalizing plans with Vanessa for Saturday."

Nina nodded, and gave her a knowing smile. 

**Vanessa:** I know exactly what I'm going to wear then. 

Brooke's mind went wild. 

~*~

Vanessa admired herself in her mirror. Her long dark hair was curled to perfection, the red of her bra beautiful against the tan of her skin, with a little extra padding to give her a little more  _ oomph _ . If she's not naked under Brooke by the end of the evening, then something is seriously wrong. She slid the stockings up her legs and clipped them to the belt on her hips. 

_ Oh, yeah,  _ she thought to herself,  _ Brooke won't be able to resist.  _

Vanessa stepped into her favorite red dress, and buckled her favorite black heels, and she was ready to go. She grabbed her keys, the card for Brooke with her gift in it, and out the door she went. 

Brooke loved the color black. It looked good on her fair skin, which didn't seem like a normal thing, but it was. She had bought the perfect lingerie set, black, to match her favorite flowy chiffon knee-length dress, a set that would be sure to make Vanessa drool. The contrast on her milky skin was delicious. Brooke couldn't wait to see Vanessa's reaction.

She was ready fairly early, and sat on her bed waiting for the text that signaled her girl was there. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She was so nervous. Her phone buzzed with the text from Vanessa saying she was there so Brooke grabbed her purse and headed out. She locked the door behind her with shaky hands, and took the elevator down, because she's not going down three floors in these heels, and the butterflies seem to just keep fluttering. 

Vanessa stands by her car in the parking lot like she has done so many times before and each time Brooke is caught stunned by her beauty. This time is no different. She's at a loss for words. The red dress Vanessa is wearing hugs her curves perfectly and is a nice contrast on her skin. 

"Baby," Brooke sighs, pulling Vanessa into a hug, "you look...amazing."

Vanessa's cheeks flush, and she flashes a smile. She, too, is stunned by Brooke. It takes everything she has not to give Brooke her present right then and there but she knows they will never make it to dinner. 

"So do you, baby. Look at them legs." Vanessa purrs, looking Brooke up and down. 

Brooke giggles. Vanessa opens the door for Brooke and then gets in the driver's seat. Brooke directs Vanessa to the restaurant, which is one of the fanciest she can find. Vanessa deserves it. She deserves all of it.

It may just be the fanciest place Vanessa has ever been in. It's a beautiful restaurant in a tall building high above the city. Their table is candlelit and by a window so they can overlook the city below them. Its beautiful, and romantic, and so very perfect. 

"Brooke, this is amazing." Vanessa says, in awe, "and you say you're not a romantic."

"What can I say? You make me want to live in a romcom." Brooke winks, and Vanessa laughs.

They order dinner, but keep it light. Both girls are so nervous, but they are hiding it from other girl quite well. 

"Are you ladies interested in dessert" the waiter comes by and asks.

Brooke feels her cheeks heat up a little,  _ yes _ , she thinks,  _ but not the kind you offer here.  _

"I think I'm okay right now, how about you babe?" Vanessa says softly, a flicker of something flashes in her eyes, but Brooke doesn't know what. 

"I think I'm okay too." Brooke manages to say. 

The waiter nods and walks away. 

"I have something for you," Vanessa says.

"Baby you didn't have to get me anything."

"Well it's for us, kind of."

Vanessa takes a deep breath, and Brooke's heart speeds up. Vanessa pulls the card from her purse and hands it to Brooke. Brooke opens the envelope and reads the sweet words on the front. She opens the card and out slides a key card.

She looks at Vanessa, who is fidgeting in her chair. Brooke feels her heart about to pound out of her chest. 

"What's this?" Brooke says softly, with a hint of hope. 

Could it be? Could Vanessa really be on the same page as her? She had planned to have this talk tonight but she didn't expect this. 

"A hotel key." Vanessa says, just as soft, "there's something we should talk about."

Brooke finally figured out the look in Vanessa's eyes. That feeling of desire was back.

Vanessa suddenly felt very shy. 

"Maybe we should get out of here." Brooke suggests.

"Maybe we should."

Brooke gets the check and pays quickly, and leads Vanessa out of the restaurant and down to the car. They sit in thick silence in the car for a moment, trying to find their words. 

"I think-" Brooke starts, at the same time Vanessa says "I want-"

They both stop and start giggling. 

"Go ahead, baby." Brooke insists. 

"We don't have to so anything. But I want to put it out there that I want to, and I'm ready if you are. So we can go to the room and see what happens, or we can completely disregard the room and find something el-"

"Drive to the room, Vanessa." Brooke says, cutting her off. 

Vanessa stares at her for a second, and a smile spreads across Brooke's face. 

"Really?"

Brooke doesn't say anything, she just leans across and kisses presses her lips to Vanessa's. They kiss differently than normal, it's heated, passionate. Its needy, and deep. 

Brooke pulls back, "just drive to the hotel, baby."

“Okay,” Vanessa squeaks.

The raw sexual tension on the way there is so thick that it couldn’t be cut with a knife. Brooke keeps a firm hand on Vanessa’s thigh the whole way, her fingertips warm and so very apparent in Vanessa’s already warm skin.

Since Vanessa had already checked in earlier today, they thankfully didn’t have to deal with the people at the front desk. Instead, Vanessa pulls Brooke along to the elevator and presses the button up to the fourth floor. 

The time it takes getting up the elevator and to the door of their hotel room feels entirely too long, nervous excitement swirling through both of them.

Vanessa’s hands shake so bad when she pulls the room card from her wallet that Brooke gives her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and takes it from her, keying them into the luxury suite.

“Nessa, this is beautiful. You didn’t have to do this,” Brooke says, beaming from ear to ear.

Vanessa comes up behind her, wrapping her arms around Brooke’s midsection, burying her face in her shoulder blade.

“I wanted to, baby,” she whispers, pressing a soft kiss to her bare skin. 

Brooke smiles softly, turning over in Vanessa’s embrace to face her.

“Thank you, V. I love it.”

“No need to thank me, babe. Let’s get comfy,” Vanessa suggests, pulling Brooke down on the bed with her. 

The sweetness from before is replaced with awkwardness as they sit on the edge of the bed, hand in hand.

“Um, we could, maybe uh, cuddle? And we can just see where it goes from there?”

Brooke takes Vanessa’s shaking hand, bringing it to her lips.

“Let’s just take it slow, baby, okay?” Brooke says, though nerves were eating at her too.

Vanessa smiles shyly as she climbs up further onto the bed, motioning for Brooke to follow suit. 

Once Brooke does so it only takes them a moment before they comfortably find solace in each other’s arms, Brooke gently petting down Vanessa’s arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake. Vanessa sighs contently, as much as she wanted sex with Brooke she really wouldn’t be opposed just to stay like this all night

Though, her mind quickly changes when Brooke’s petting migrates to other places, her gentle fingertips caressing down her sides and to her hips and down to her thigh. Heat pricks at her skin and her breath catches in her throat. 

“Nessa,” Brooke tentatively whispers, “do you want to, hmm, can I-”

Vanessa cuts Brooke off with a kiss, only pulling apart when her chest burns with the need to breathe.

“Can you what, Mami?”

“Ness,” she breathes, “can I touch you?”

“You already touchin’ me, Brookie,” Vanessa teases, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Brooke huffs out a breath, “you’re not gonna make this easy for me, are you?”

“You didn’t make it easy for me to wait when you look like that, baby.”

Brooke’s breath leaves her in a gust when Vanessa hooks a leg over hers and straddles her lap, kissing and sucking up the length of her elegant neck. 

“Wait, Vanessa, stop. Hold on, are you sure you want to do this?”

Vanessa sits back a bit, her hands firm on Brooke’s shoulders.

“I’m sure about what  _ I  _ want. Are  _ you  _ sure? You seem more hesitant than I do.”

Brooke swallows thickly, “I’m not hesitant about what I want. I know I  _ want _ you-“ she pauses to watch Vanessa’s face, her expression showing nothing but contentment, “I’m just scared.”

Vanessa’s taken aback for a moment. She’d known Brooke struggled when it came to anxiety, she’d seen it in the way her hands tremble a bit whenever they talked about something serious, but she’d never heard Brooke admit to her anxieties before. 

“What are you scared of, Brooke?”

Brooke’s eyes cast downward, staring at her hands that are splayed on Vanessa’s bare thighs.

“I-I don’t wanna mess this up,” she says softly, gesturing between the two of them, “I don’t wanna lose this with you.” 

Vanessa smiles softly, reaching out to tuck a strand of blonde hair behind Brooke’s ear. 

“You’ve got me, baby. No matter what,” she promises.

Usually a statement like that would make Brooke’s heart beat faster and her stomach twist with anxiety like it did with last girlfriends, but something about Vanessa made it ok when she said it. Like commitment wasn’t one of the most terrifying things Brooke has ever thought of, in fact she kind of liked the idea of being committed to her, and only her. 

Brooke lets her eyes flutter closed as Vanessa buries her face in her neck.

Everything hits Brooke all at once, the heaviness in her chest lightens as she drinks in the feeling of Vanessa being so close to her. 

“Vanessa, can I tell you something? And please bare with me, I’ve never told anyone this before and if it’s too soon or you don’t feel the same way please tell me-“

Vanessa stops her with a gentle hand on her sternum.

“It’s okay, Brooke. You can tell me anything.”

“I love you,” Brooke says, surprised by how her voice doesn’t waver even a little.

“Oh, Brooke,” Vanessa whispers, stroking Brooke’s warm cheek, “I love you too. I love you so much.”

“Y-you do?”

“I do, I ain’t no liar.”

“I love you,” Brooke says again, pulling her closer by the back of her neck for a searing kiss. 

They’d had plenty of heavy makeout sessions where it heated up to the point where they could’ve, maybe even should’ve had sex, but this feels different. It  _ is  _ different in a way. It’s the same in the sense where a fire roars deep within both of them, but it’s different in a way where they feed each other’s flame, instead of letting it roar on until it dies out. 

They kiss fervently until Vanessa takes a pause to pull her long hair into a ponytail before she begins trailing hot kisses down Brooke’s neck and chest again. Her hands snake around the blonde’s waist and she keeps them there for a moment before fumbling to find the zipper on the back of Brooke’s dress. Though, even when she finds it, she still can’t seem to get it undone. She messes with it for a minute, cursing herself for potentially ruining the moment, and then Brooke’s laughing and she can’t help but join in.

“Here, let me up a minute,” Brooke says once they’re giggles have subsided.

Vanessa climbs off her lap and watches intently as she crawls off the bed and faces the wall, her back towards Vanessa.

Finally,  _ finally,  _ now that she’s able to see the zip she effectively unzips it, revealing more of Brooke’s soft ivory skin. Brooke’s skin is soft under her fingertips as she lightly grazes the skin, smiling to herself when Brooke shivers at the sensation. 

“You’re all unzipped, baby.”

“Thank you, Ness.”

Then Brooke steps away from the bed and turns around, her front facing Vanessa, who bites her lip in anticipation as Brooke slips the thin spaghetti straps off her shoulders. Once the straps are down, she slowly and teasingly pushes the dress down her body, revealing the rest of herself, leaving her nude save for her lacy black thong. She slowly stalks over to the bed, her eyes focused on Vanessa’s, though she can barely tear her eyes from Brooke’s gorgeous body. Vanessa had, of course, fallen in love with Brooke because of who she is, and she’d think she’d be beautiful regardless of what she really looked like, but she definitely didn’t have a problem with the fact that her body was seemingly blessed by the gods. The subtlety of muscle rippled over her stomach, and her long, lean legs were on full display, making Vanessa’s head swim with possibilities. Vanessa had never seen anybody so fucking perfect in her life.

“God, you’re fucking gorgeous,” Vanessa says, pulling her into her arms, peppering kisses all over her, making Brooke giggle uncontrollably, until Vanessa pulls her onto the bed. She lays Brooke down gently, crawling on top of her and placing a knee in between her legs.

“So fucking beautiful,” she murmurs into her skin before gently sucking and biting right below her jawline. She has Brooke right where she wants her until Brooke’s whimpering quietly and pushing on Vanessa’s shoulder a bit. 

Vanessa practically rips herself from Brooke, afraid she’d hurt her or made her uncomfortable or something.

“Brooke, I’m so sorry, we don’t have to do this. I promise I’ll be okay to stop.”

“No, Nessa, I’m okay. I just-” a blush rises high on her cheeks, “I feel a little weird about, um, being the only one naked. If it’s okay with you, um-”

Vanessa’s heart swells with affection, her eyes brimming with the same soft affection.

“Say no more, baby. I got you.”

She quickly obliges with Brooke’s request, pulling her own dress over her head and tossing it to the floor.

“Wow,” Brooke mutters, unable to tear her own eyes from Vanessa. 

Her body, albeit softer than Brooke’s, was something to marvel at. She looks like something out of a movie with her dark hair cascading down her back and falling down her bare shoulders, almost completely covering her chest. Then, there’s her ass. Brooke has always been an ass woman but Vanessa’s really is the best she’s ever seen. It’s just big enough to look round and plump but not big enough where it looks out of place compared to the rest of Vanessa’s tiny body. 

“C’mere, beautiful,” Brooke says, breaking herself out of a trance-like state.

As soon as she’s close enough, Brooke grabs onto her hips and pulls her back on top of her.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Brooke mutters, her hands grazing all over Vanessa’s body then making themselves at home on the plump of her ass.

Vanessa rolls her eyes playfully. “Oh stop it, I know I ain’t got a body as good as you, baby.”

“Shut up,” she growls, grabbing Vanessa by the hips and flipping her on her back, switching their positions and giving her the upper hand, “you’re so fucking beautiful."

Then, Brooke’s peppering kisses all over Vanessa’s body, scooting down and making herself comfortable in between the other girl’s spread legs. She kisses and licks over warm skin while Vanessa giggles and squirms until Brooke reaches her hips. Her ticklish giggles come to a complete stop and her breath catches in her throat.  _ Oh, ok. _

Brooke’s kisses seem to hover around the area and soon turn into biting kisses instead of the soft pecks she was doing before. She sucks and licks at warm skin while her hands grip at hips, making Vanessa moan and arch her back. Brooke teases her for a few moments before Vanessa’s hips are twitching with need.

Hooking her thumbs around Vanessa’s red panties she looks up at her for permission and asks, “may I?”

Vanessa chuckles, “you don’t even gotta ask, Mami.”

Brooke doesn’t need to be told twice before she’s pulling down Vanessa’s panties and tossing them somewhere across the room. 

Brooke lays herself down on her stomach right in between Vanessa’s spread legs. 

“Please, baby,” Vanessa whines, her voice already hoarse and thick with need. 

Brooke smiles and lightly kisses her inner thigh, Vanessa shuddering as she gets closer to where she wants her. 

As much as she’d like to keep teasing and drawing it out, the small breathy whines Vanessa lets out spur her on. Peeking up at her through her eyelashes is what does her in, Vanessa has her head thrown back and her knuckles tightly grip the duvet underneath her. 

“Brooke, please,” she mutters.

And who is Brooke to deny her anything? Especially when she’s like this, all spread out and beautiful and so so needy.

Brooke slowly drags her tongue up the length of her slit, the shorter girl preening underneath her. Her wetness seeps onto Brooke’s tongue as she dips her tongue inside, only slightly.

“ _ Oh my god, Brooke, please,” _ she pants, her body stiff and tense as Brooke gives her the bare minimum. It’s not that Brooke wanted to tease her as much as she is, she simply never wanted this to end. They’d only just begun but she knew she could spend hours with Vanessa writhing on her tongue, tasting every sweet inch of the girl. 

It’s not until Vanessa gently threads a hand in her hair that she really goes for it. She gently circles her tongue around Vanessa’s clit and then sucks it into her mouth.

Brooke’s never considered herself to have too many kinks, but as Vanessa moans and pants above her, she wonders if this could be considered a kink. The sounds that fall from her lips are so beautiful, even if they’re downright sinful. And as Brooke alternates between licking over her clit and sucking on it, her sounds get louder and more affected, encouraging Brooke to lick faster, harder. Her jaw aches, but she powers through it until Vanessa’s shaking thighs go rigid and she all but screams Brooke’s name as she comes, throwing an arm over her eyes.

Brooke eases her pace and slowly kitten licks her through her orgasm, letting her come down effortlessly and blissfully. 

Vanessa’s body goes lax and Brooke eases herself from in between her legs, crawling up the length of her body to lie next to her.

“Are you okay?” Brooke asks, gently caressing her jawline. 

Vanessa’s quiet for a minute, her chest still heaving as she catches her breath. Though, the confidence Brooke had gained from before falls away.

“I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I? If i did I didn’t mean-”

“Brooke, stop. I’m fine, great even. You really had my loud ass speechless for a minute,” she reassures, turning over to kiss her, “”it was amazing, baby.”

Brooke smiles in spite of herself, almost forgetting about the throbbing between her own legs as she cuddles up to Vanessa.

“Wait a minute, Mami. I wanna return the favor before your ass falls asleep on me,” Vanessa says with a smirk on her lips.

“You don’t have to, Nessa. I’m okay.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and sneaks a hand down between Brooke’s legs, cupping her pussy over her panties, making Brooke gasp at the sensation.

“You okay, huh? Then why you gettin’ all hot and bothered when I touch you, hm?”

Vanessa drives her point home when she slips her hand below the waistline of her panties and comes in contact with her wet heat. Brooke involuntarily bucks her hips forward, needing Vanessa closer and closer.

“Oh fuck, Vanessa,” she whimpers.

Vanessa giggles softly, “that’s what I thought, baby.”

“Please, more. I need more.”

“And that’s what you’ll get, Brookie.”

Vanessa stays true to her promise and easily finds her clit, rubbing it in tight circles while Brooke bites back her moans.

“Be loud for me, baby, it’s okay,” Vanessa coos, using her free hand to lovingly stroke Brooke’s sweaty hair. 

Brooke takes that and runs with it, opening her mouth and letting sweet gasps and whimpers leave her lips while she mutters pleas in between.

She’d been so pent up for months, she comes after only a little bit, her body becoming tight before it relaxes and Vanessa gently touches her through it, withdrawing when she becomes oversensitive. 

“God, you’re a fucking godsend,” Brooke mumbles, her words almost incoherent. 

Vanessa chuckles and stares at Brooke with big doe eyes as she takes her hand out of Brooke’s underwear and sucks her wet fingers into her mouth, sighing in contentment. 

“You taste fucking amazing. I will be eating you out later.”

Brooke laughs, her hand searching for Vanessa’s.

“Later as in tonight?”

“Of course, bitch! You think I’m gonna let your sexy ass just up in this bed all night while only goin’ at it once! Buckle up cowboy cuz we in for a long night!”

“You’re on,” Brooke challenges, a twinkle in her eye, “but you gotta let me rest a bit first, babe.”

“Of course. But you got ten minutes, so hurry up!”

Brooke rolls her eyes and kisses her again.

“I love you, Ness.”

The challenging look in Vanessa’s eyes soften as she nuzzles her way underneath Brooke’s chin. 

“I love you too, B. You still got only ten minutes, though.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Brooke laughs, shaking her head affectionately, “you’re also extremely lucky you’re so cute and that I don’t mind being up with you all night.”

“That’s right, blondie, good pussy ain’t never get tired, baby.”

Brooke rolls her eyes, “like I said, extremely lucky you’re cute,” she says, pressing a feather light kiss to her forehead. 

  
  
  
  



	4. be my once in a lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One year anniversaries are a big deal.
> 
> Title from “love song” by Lana Del Rey

Their first year together brought many changes. In the spring, Brooke joined the other dance majors in a production of Cinderella where she landed the lead role. Vanessa was so proud and she sat front and center for every performance. 

At the end of the school year, Vanessa did a clinical rotation in geriatrics, which made her realize that it wasn't her thing. 

Over the summer, Brooke and Detox decided that they wanted to live in an apartment near campus instead of the dorms for senior year, so they spent the summer searching and searching for the right place. Being that Vanessa and Brooke had only been dating about six months, they had decided it was best for them not to move in together quite yet, and Vanessa stayed on campus with Silky and A'keria. 

The summer was filled with studying and dancing. Brooke was preparing for senior year as a dance major, when ballet companies would be scouting and looking at her. She had her sights set on New York still, and she was going to get there. Vanessa spent a lot of it either watching Brooke practice, or studying for her nursing boards that she will be taking at the end of the year, because it's never too early to start studying. 

Once the fall starts, Vanessa does her clinical rotation in OB and decides that yes, this is where she belongs. Vanessa decides that after graduation she will be an OB nurse and bring life into the world, and Brooke is proud of her and excited for her. 

For Christmas, they visit Brooke's family, and for New Years, they visit Vanessa's family. Both holidays being nothing but absolute chaos but what can you do? 

January rolls around and along with it brings Brooke and Vanessa's one year anniversary. 

"What's your plans for the big day, B?" Detox asks Brooke with about a week and a half to go. 

"Well, since you asked, I'm kicking your silicone ass out so I can fuck my girl into the next week." Brooke says, and then smiles sweetly. 

Detox's jaw dropped, shocked for just a split second, "listen bitch, there's not that much silicone in my ass, and you're lucky I like you because I am willing to leave for the night so you can do your thing."

"Thanks, D. I'm planning to make her dinner and I'm going to romance this place the fuck out." Brooke's face lights up, "rose petals, candles, all of it!"

"B, she's changed you, I never thought I'd see the day." 

Brooke feels her cheeks heat up, and she knows Detox is right. 

~*~

"Vanjie, you sure you don't want us to come with you?" Silky asked. 

"Nah, I can't promise that I'll be back in time for you to get to work! It's like a two hour drive." 

"Why you gotta drive all the way out there anyways?" A'keria asks, looking at Vanessa like she's crazy. 

"That's the closest shop I can get it from, and I gotta get her this bracelet! Its fully perfect and I need to get it."

"Alright, well, let me know when you get there." A'keria says, hugging Vanessa as she walks towards the door. 

"Yes, mom." Vanessa rolls her eyes, but smiles, and then heads out. 

The trip to the shop in the town a few hours away is boring. Vanessa liked road trips but hated them when she was alone. Her music was loud, and she was enjoying the beautiful weather with her windows cranked down. It was a surprise to her when her car started to slow down and sputter. She hadn't noticed anything wrong the last few miles, but as she pulled to the side of the highway she noticed smoke filling out from under the hood of her car. 

"Fuck! This ain't good." 

She gets out of the car and lifts the hood, not that she has any idea what is happening. The smoke just rolls out with no signs of stopping.

"Screwed," she says, "that's what I am, I'm screwed." 

Tears threaten Vanessa's eyes. She grabs her phone and calls the roadside assistance company her mom gets her a membership to for Christmas one year. She explains the situation and they say they'll be there soon. She knows she needs to call Brooke but she doesn't want to worry her yet. 

The tow truck pulls up and the guy gets out to look at her car. By the look on his face, Vanessa can tell it's not good. 

"Bad news, ma'am-" the man starts talking in mechanic lingo and Vanessa tries to follow but she can't, all she comes up to is that it's going to cost her a lot of money. 

Tears threaten her eyes again and she fishes through her purse to find her phone. She dials Brooke.

"Hey, Nessa," Brooke answers, almost immediately.

The tears start to fall and Vanessa chokes back a sob.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Brooke asks, Vanessa can hear the panic already in her voice, "are you okay?"

Vanessa tries to tell Brooke what's going on but all Brooke understands through Vanessa's sobs is car and towed and side of the road. 

"Are you hurt?”

"No," Vanessa was finally able to answer clearly, "but I have no ride." 

"Where are they taking your car? Can you ride with the tow truck and I'll pick you up there? What do you want me to do, baby?"

Vanessa decides to have Brooke pick her up from the auto shop instead of having her drive 45 minutes to the middle of nowhere to pick her up on the side of the highway. 

By the time Brooke gets to the auto shop, they have told Vanessa that it's going to cost her several hundred dollars to fix her car, and Vanessa is just about hysterical. 

The minute she sees Brooke get out of her car, she runs over and just about throws herself into the blonde’s arms.

"Sweetheart, what's going on? What are they saying?" Brooke asks, soothingly, rubbing Vanessa's back. 

"Brooke, our anniversary is gonna be ruined 'cause I can't get you a present 'cause my stupid car is gonna cost way too much stupid money."

"What's going on?"

"They're saying that my car is gonna take like several hundred dollars to fix. That's insane." 

Vanessa continues to ramble and cry and Brooke only catches half of what she's saying. 

After a few minutes, though, Brooke is able to get her calmed down.

"Babe, if money is an issue I can help you."

Vanessa shakes her head. She can't talk about this right now. She tells the mechanics to work on the car and her and Brooke start the drive back to campus. 

"Brooke, I don't need help with money, but fixing my car means that I can't get you a present." 

"Baby you are my present." Brooke says, squeezing Vanessa's hand with comfort. 

There's a second of silence and then Vanessa pretends to gag, "that's the cheesiest thing you've ever said, Mary," she laughs.

"I just mean that you don't have to get me anything."

"I know but I want to. It's important. This our first anniversary. It's a big deal." 

Brooke thinks for a minute, and an idea pops into her head, "alright well how about this? We make each other presents? Because to be honest, I haven't bought yours either."

"Make each other presents," Vanessa repeated, "okay, I'm fine with that." Vanessa gives a dazzling smile. 

She knows exactly what she's going to do.

Brooke didn't though, and she spent that whole night on Pinterest trying to find ideas. She finally found an idea, and the next morning she set to work. 

~*~

Brooke spends the better part of the afternoon getting the apartment ready on the day of their anniversary. She wanted everything to be perfect. Her present was wrapped and on the coffee table, dinner was in the oven, wine was in the fridge, roses were...well...everywhere, and candles were lit. Now all she needed was her girl.

Vanessa got there around 6, which was perfect timing because Brooke was putting the final touches on dinner and setting the table. Vanessa expected it to be romantic but she didn't expect it to be a scene out of a movie. Her heart felt like it would explode with affection for the blonde.

"Hi baby," Vanessa said softly, stepping past Brooke into the apartment. 

Brooke looked amazing, hair done in a curled updo, dress of light blue to match her eyes, and her makeup subtle. 

Vanessa leaned up to kiss the taller girl, "it looks amazing in here."

"Thank you, I've been working on it all day," Brooke blushes. 

She takes Vanessa's hand and leads her to the table which is set with their dinner.

The dinner is amazing and the wine is perfect. The girls share maybe a few glasses too many between the two of them and after dinner they fall onto the couch while tipsily giggling and clinging to each other, sharing kisses and feather light touches. 

"Wine tipsy is the best tipsy." Brooke says, voice light and breathy, and Vanessa giggles in response. 

"Brookie, I have your present here." Vanessa says, abruptly changing the subject. 

She grabs a little box from her purse and places it on Brooke's lap. Brooke fumbles with the wrapping at first but finally is able to get it open. Inside is a bunch of different envelopes.

"They're Open when you're feeling… letters," Vanessa explains.

Brooke smiles and flips through them. 

"Open when you're feeling happy, open when you're feeling sad, open when you're feeling anxious," Brooke reads, "open when you're feeling…..oh...horny!" Brooke giggles and acts like she's going to open that one right now. 

"Oh my god, you don't need to open that one when I'm right here, Brookie." Vanessa takes the envelopes from Brooke's lap and scoots so the empty space is filled by her. 

Vanessa wraps her arms around Brooke's neck and presses their foreheads together. 

"I love you, B." She whispers. 

Brooke's heart softens, just like it does every time she hears those words come out of Vanessa's mouth.

Vanessa kisses Brooke's lips and then leaves open mouth kisses down her neck, leaving a lipstick trail as she goes. 

"Vanessa, wait, I still have your present!" Brooke says, "Vanessa wa- that tickles!" Brooke giggles. 

Vanessa pulls back and giggles too, "sorry baby," she says. 

Brooke leans forward, careful not to spill Vanessa off her lap, and grabs the present off the table and hands it to her girl. 

Vanessa opens the wrapping and inside is a book. She opens the book and can already feel the tears. On the first page is a picture from their first date, with a note. 

"Show me a picture, 

any at all, 

I can tell you what we did that day, 

I'm sure we had a ball"

"Really, Mary?" Vanessa laughs, "did you write that poem yourself?"

Brooke's cheeks heat up, and she nods shyly. Vanessa's face softens. 

"I love it baby." 

"Keep looking, there's more!" Brooke encourages. 

Vanessa flips through the book and Brooke is right, each picture has a note next to it about what they did that day. It warms her heart. 

Vanessa gets to the last page, and her heart jumps into her throat. It's a blank page except for the words Our First Apartment and a key taped to the page. The key is painted red and has a gold V glued to it. Vanessa is confused, and now worried that she's going to upset Brooke.

"Baby, I thought we talked about this. We didn't want to live together yet, and I definitely can't afford to live off campus right now."

"It's not what you think, V." Brooke starts, "it's not an apartment key."

Now Vanessa is really confused.

"What's it for then?"

"Nothing, yet. It's a promise. Like you know how people do promise rings? It's kind of like that. A promise key. As in I promise that I want to live with you after we graduate."

Vanessa feels her love for this woman radiate through her whole body.

"Say something." Brooke says softly, searching Vanessa's face.

"I love it. I love you. It's perfect, you're perfect. Thank you."

“I love you too, Ness.”

Vanessa moves to straddle Brooke’s lap, throwing her arms around the blonde’s neck and pulling her in for a deep kiss. Brooke returns the kiss enthusiastically and soon enough their hearts are beating fast and in time as they messily make out.

Brooke pulls away before it gets too intense, it was their anniversary for God’s sake, there’s no way they were gonna have a quickie on the couch. 

Vanessa whines with displeasure when Brooke dodges her kiss.

“Wait, Ness. I have one more gift,” she says breathlessly, her breathing already erratic. 

“Woah, woah, woah, wait a minute,” Vanessa says, getting up from Brooke’s lap, “I thought we said we were making each other gifts and that’s it.”

“Well, to be fair, I bought it awhile ago. And it’s not really for just you, it’s for the both of us.”

Excitement blooms in Vanessa’s chest, her heart pounding thinking about what Brooke possibly could’ve bought them. 

“What’re you waiting for then? Go get it, Mami, ” she purrs seductively, making Brooke swallow thickly.

Brooke bites her lip and gets up quickly, speed walking to the hall closet where she’d hidden her and Vanessa’s gift.

She retrieves the silky black drawstring bag and hides it behind her back as she walks back over towards Vanessa on the couch. 

“Ok, now before you open it I want you to know it is absolutely okay to tell me this is too much or if you don’t want to use any of it. And of course, even if you want to now you can totally change your mind. I just remembered when we talked about kinda switching things up-“

“Brooke, calm down, baby,” Vanessa says, her voice stern, but soft, which was her sure fire way to bring Brooke out of her anxiety. It almost always worked like a charm.

“Ok,” Brooke breathes, “ok, I’m fine. Here.”

She hands Vanessa the bag and watches with curiosity written on her features as she gently opens the drawstrings and pulls two things out. 

Vanessa feels heat prickle up her spine and neck and warm arousal curl in her tummy.

“Brooke,” she says, her voice light and coquettish.

“Hmm?” 

A smirk is painted on Brooke’s lips as she gauges the situation. Everything about Vanessa’s body language tells her she enjoys every bit of their joint gift, and Brooke knows it was the right call.

Taking the soft pink handcuffs from the packaging, Vanessa runs a finger over the soft material and shivers at the thought of that same soft material rubbing over her wrists as Brooke did what she pleased with her. Following the handcuffs, comes a sleek black wand vibrator with multiple settings. Toys hadn’t been new to their sexual explorations, but the thought of Brooke using this particular toy on her excited her to the point where her mouth went dry.

“Obviously, I want to have a conversation about all this, since some of this is new, before we do anything. But, if you’re up for it tonight, I’d love to try some of this out on you.”

Vanessa cackles loudly, “bitch, the fuck you mean ‘if you’re up for it’, I thought for sure your ass saw me drooling as soon as I opened the shit.”

Brooke laughed, she had indeed noticed the shift in Vanessa’s demeanor, but she still wanted to make sure Vanessa knew she could opt out of anything if she wanted to. 

Brooke grabs her hand and delicately brings it to her lips. “I know, babe, I just want you to be comfortable with everything.”

Vanessa’s chest blooms with sweet affection.

“I do feel comfortable with trying this stuff out, though,” she says confidently.

“Okay,” Brooke smiles, “we can take it to the bedroom then to finish talking. That way when we’re done we can get right to it,” she says with a wink.

“You read my mind, mama. I’ll race you!”

Before Vanessa even finishes her sentence Brooke jumps from the couch and sprints to her bedroom, more likely than not pissing off her neighbors below her. Though Vanessa jumps up almost as quickly as she did, Brooke’s long legs carry her quicker and she throws herself on the bed first, Vanessa following shortly after.

They make themselves cozy in each other’s arms, Vanessa nuzzling her head on Brooke’s chest.

“So, is there anything that you want to say before we do anything? Anything at all, Ness?”

Vanessa ponders for a moment, “I know we’ve talked about, you know, dom and sub stuff before but I know you be gettin’ all up in that pretty little head of yours and worryin’ about stuff you ain’t gotta worry about. I just wanna say that I trust you, Brooke. I trust you and I love you.”

“I love you too,” Brooke replies, a fond smile on her face, “what do you want to use for a safe word? Or safe words, since it’d be best to have different levels. I was thinking we could do a stoplight system? I read about it online, so green would mean good, yellow means slow down, and red would be to stop completely.”

“Green, yellow, red,” Vanessa repeats, testing out the words on her tongue, “that sounds pretty good to me, baby.” 

“And if it’s okay with you, I’d like to start light, and if we like it maybe we can explore other things too, but for now-“

“Keep it light,” Vanessa finishes, flashing Brooke a dazzling smile.

“Right,” Brooke finishes, letting out a nervous breath she hadn’t known she was holding in, “so, um, how do you wanna start?”

Vanessa rolls her eyes lovingly, “shut up and kiss me, bitch.” 

And Brooke does just that, she pulls her close with a hand on the back of her neck and kisses her until they’re both breathless enough to need to stop for air.

The feeling of Vanessa all soft and pliant in her arms as they kissed allowed Brooke to settle in a dominant headspace without much accompanying worry.

“Why don’t you get up and get undressed for me, sweetheart. Give Mami a little show,” Brooke rasps the last part in her ear, reveling in the way Vanessa shudders with excitement. 

Vanessa stands from the bed, and boy, does she give Brooke a show. She slowly and teasingly peels the dress from her body. By the time her dress lies in a pool at her feet Brooke’s damn near salivating at the sight of her. Sure, they’d seen each other naked plenty of times and Vanessa hadn’t changed any since the last time she’d seen her, the soft curve of her hips and the roundness of her ass was all the same. It was the look in her eyes that exuded nothing but trust and love that really made Brooke’s heart speed up. 

“Come here, you angel,” Brooke says, pulling her close before Vanessa can even say anything. 

“You’re so beautiful, my perfect baby girl,” she whispers while stroking Vanessa’s soft hair, “do you wanna lie down for me while I get our stuff all ready? Hmm?”

“Yes, Mami,” Vanessa answers obediently. 

“Good girl.”

Vanessa lies back on the bed while Brooke quickly sheds her own dress and gets the handcuffs ready.

“Ok, darling, I want you to put your hands above your head like a good girl so I can put these on.”

Vanessa obeys, raiding her arms above her head. Brooke makes quick work of looping the middle of the cuffs on the headboard and cuffing Vanessa’s wrists.

Even though Brooke can tell Vanessa’s enjoying herself by the way her eyes shine with anticipation, she still checks in.

“How does that feel? Are you doing alright?”

“Mmhmm, ‘m great.”

“Good, because I think we have something else in store for you, princess.”

Vanessa blushes at the nickname, basking in Brooke’s sweet attention. 

Placing her knees on either side of Vanessa’s hips, Brooke straddles her, boxing her smaller body in. She places a gentle hand on Vanessa’s chin, her thumb tracing the outline of her plump lower lip. Brooke laughs delightedly when Vanessa’s tongue darts out to lick her thumb.

“Aww, do you want something to suck on, baby?” Brooke coos, pushing her thumb past her lips and letting her suck gently. 

“You’re so sweet, baby girl, you’re just the sweetest little thing,” Brooke praises as Vanessa continues to suck on her thumb with heavy lidded eyes. 

Taking her thumb from Vanessa’s mouth, she leans down and kisses her fervently, until Vanessa’s squirming and whimpering underneath her.

“What do you say we take out our new toy, huh? Would you like that, angel? Do you want Mami to play with you?” 

“Yes, please, Mami,” Vanessa whimpers, her voice quieter and breather than Brooke’s ever heard it.

“That’s what I like to hear. You’re so polite and good, baby girl. You’re being so good for me.” 

Brooke grabs their brand new vibe from the bedside table where she’d left it after she cleaned it thoroughly. She chooses a middle setting at first, pressing it to Vanessa’s neck, making her squirm and giggle while she shouts how she’s ticklish there, as if Brooke didn’t know. As cute as Vanessa’s giggles are, Brooke wants to hear her moans even more. She slowly moves the vibrator down her body, smirking as the closer she gets to where Vanessa wants it, the more responsive she is, bucking her hips.

Finally, Brooke gets in between her legs and presses the toy over Vanessa’s still clothed pussy. 

“Look at you, my darling, I bet you’re just soaking through these poor panties, huh? Here, let Mami take them off for you, sweetheart.”

Vanessa obliges and moves a bit so Brooke can peel her wet panties down.

“Oh my! Look at that sweet little pussy, it’s all wet for me!”

“Please, Mami, please,” Vanessa begs, her head already thrown back in ecstasy.

Brooke obeys immediately and spends the better part of an hour playing with her. She turns the power on the toy up and down, leaving Vanessa anticipating but not knowing what she’d do next. When Vanessa’s body got too sensitive, every touch leaving a fire burning on her skin, Brooke finally lets her come, only after hearing her beg for it; of course.

Vanessa rides out her strong orgasm on Brooke’s fingers since they were gentler than the toy. Riding out her last aftershocks, Vanessa’s body relaxes, her eyes fluttering closed as Brooke strokes her cheek.

Brooke quickly uncuffs her and then curls up beside her, gathering her small body in her arms. 

Stroking her hair, she whispers, “how are you, baby?”

“ ‘M great, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Brooke says, pressing a kiss to her sweaty hairline. 

They lay there for a moment, relaxing in each other’s embrace.

“Ness, if I tell you something will you laugh at me?”

“Probably,” Vanessa mumbles, a soft and sleepy smile on her face. 

Brooke rolls her eyes affectionately, “I just-hmm, I just, I used to think that I just wasn’t the type to settle for one person, and I was like that for a long time. I never let myself open up to anybody to let them in so I just told myself I wasn’t cut out for love. And I think you changed me. I’ve never felt what I feel for you about anyone else before. I love you so much and I’m sorry sometimes I’m shitty at showing it, but I do, I love you so much. I never believed in it before, but you make me want to believe in soul mates, because I think you’re mine.”

If it had been anyone else confessing that Vanessa was their soul mate, she would’ve laughed at the sentiment. But the way Brooke says it, makes her want to believe Brooke’s her true soul mate too. 

“Oh Brooke, thank you for sharing that with me. I love you too, so fucking much. I can’t believe my hopeless romantic ass didn’t believe in soul mates before either, but like you said, you make want to believe in them too.” 

Tears brim in Brooke’s eyes when Vanessa pulls her close for a sweet kiss, one that said ‘I love you’ a thousand times, over and over.

Vanessa cuddles closer when they pull apart.

“Now get your energy back up, cuz I wanna eat you like a motherfuckin’ buffet, baby,” Vanessa whispers in her ear, earning her a playful slap on the ass.

“I’m over here trying to be all romantic and your horny ass ruins it,” she jokes.

Vanessa holds her hands up in defense, “hey, I told you I wanted my Notebook experience and you fully givin’ that to me, Mami. Now lay back and lemme have my after dinner dessert.”

Brooke snorts, but does so anyway.

They stay up until the break of dawn, laughing and holding each other, both looking back at the year they shared together, as well as looking forward to the years to come. When day finally breaks, they’re asleep in each other’s arms, snoring softly in time with each other.


	5. wherever you are, you are forever on my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa and Brooke spend spring break apart and they miss each other. 🥺  
> This is just a lil fluffy chapter before it gets juicy.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Vanessa whispers quietly, her face pressed against Brooke’s shoulder as they embrace.

“I know, baby. I’m gonna miss you too.”

“Do you have to go? You could come to Florida with me, my mom’s been askin’ to see you again anyway.”

Brooke smiles softly, moving back to hold Vanessa at arm’s length.

“I wish I could, sweetheart, but my aunt’s wedding is this week. If it wasn’t I’d come with you, you know I’d rather spend time with you than back home anyway.”

“I know,” Vanessa sighs.

Brooke pulls Vanessa close again, rocking her back and forth on her feet. They stay that way as long as they can before Silky’s snapping her fingers in front of their faces.

“Hello! Earth to bitches, we got a plane to catch.”

Brooke and Vanessa reluctantly pull apart, both of them tearful.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me,” Silky chastises, taking in both of their somber expressions, “it’ll be a week and when we get back y’all can go back to bein’ all kissy kissy and shit.”

A small smile cracks on Brooke’s face, “I can’t wait,” she says, Silky’s fake gags echoing in the background. 

She pulls Vanessa in for one more kiss before sending her off and heads to her own gate. She felt a stab of jealousy over the fact that at least Vanessa had Silky flying with her, she’d considered taking Detox or Nina with her, but she decided against asking Detox due to her family’s distain for anything out of the ordinary and Nina had plans to go home with her own girlfriend, Monét. 

So, here Brooke was, alone and about to board a plane all the way from LA to Canada, where her family resided. As she boarded the plane she now wished more than ever that Vanessa was with her as anxiety flooded her chest. The damn thing hadn’t even taken off and she could already feel the tightening in her chest. She can’t call Vanessa, who’s likely already taken off, so she does the only thing she can do, which is search her carry-on for her xanax. She hated taking them, but it was better than staying awake for the duration of the flight. Usually, Brooke packed meticulously, making a list of everything she needed and going over it over and over again, but as she searched through her bag for her pills, they were nowhere to be found.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she mutters to herself, anxiety wrapping it’s fingers around her throat.

Since they were still on the ground, she dials Detox’s number.

_ Please pick up, please pick up, please _

“Hello?” the voice on the other line is groggy, like she’d just woken up and it was likely she did.

“D, I need you to do me a favor,” Brooke says, her voice panicky.

“What is it, B? I’m trying to sleep over here,” she grumbles.

“Please, D.”

Detox must pick up on the way her voice wavers, agreeing to do whatever Brooke had asked of her.

“I just need you to go in my bathroom and see if my pills are in the cabinet.”

“Your anxiety pills?”

“Yes,” Brooke says, her voice cracking a bit. 

“Okay, I’m going.”

“Thank you.”

There’s some rustling around on the other line as Detox gets up to search through her medicine cabinet.

“It’s the xanax, right?”

“Yea.”

“Okay, they’re here. Brooke, do you need me to bring them to you.”

By now Brooke’s anxiety attack hits her full force. She grips her phone in her hand so tight, her knuckles had to be fully white by now.

“No, the plane is taking off soon, you’d never make it, even if you left now.”

“Brooke,” she whispers, her voice soft, “you are going to be ok. Nothing bad will happen to you, I promise.”

Brooke should feel more grateful for Detox, but her kind words are drowned out by the chaos of Brooke’s thoughts.

“Thanks, D. But, I gotta go,” she squeaks, hanging up and shoving her phone in her sweatshirt pocket.

Minutes later the plane takes off and so does her anxiety. She does everything she can to fall asleep, but her thoughts aren’t allowing her. Twenty minutes in, she decides maybe sleep isn’t the right route. Instead she searches through her bag for the book she had brought. Though, instead of her book she comes across something else that makes her brain calm down a little. She comes across the bundle of envelopes Vanessa had given her for their first anniversary. Flipping through them, she finds the one she was looking for. 

_ Open when you’re feeling anxious _

Opening the envelope, Brooke can’t help but smile a bit, even if her heart is still racing.

_ Hi baby, _

_ So, if you’ve opened this, you’re feeling anxious. I just wanted to say, I’m sorry, and I wish I could be there for you. Just know, that wherever I am, I’m probably thinking of you. I’m not sure what you’re anxious about, but I did a lot of research and read that the following exercises could help. _

_ Okay, after you read this I want you to do the following: _

  * _Close your eyes and imagine you’re somewhere that makes you happy, it could be anywhere as long as it makes you feel calm and happy._



She’d never tell anyone, but her place just happens to be wherever Vanessa is.

  * _Do you have your place in mind? You better, Mary. Ok, now I want you to take a deep breath. Breathe in and count to five, and do the same when you breathe out._


  * Keep doing that, baby, keep doing it until you’re calm.


  * If that doesn’t work, put on your headphones and play your favorite calming playlist as loud as you can while you breathe in and out slowly.



_ I really hope these things work for you, if not, I’m always a phone call away. Just know that I love you so very much and this will pass, I promise. I know anxiety feels terrible and I wish I could stop it from ever bothering you again. In the meantime, put this note down and do the exercises I told you about. I love you, so so much. _

_ Yours always, Vanessa _

She folds up the letter and keeps it tucked in her palm, and begins the exercises Vanessa had told her about.

_ Breathe in _

_ 1 _

_ 2 _

_ 3 _

_ 4 _

_ 5 _

_ Breathe out _

_ 1 _

_ 2 _

_ 3 _

_ 4 _

_ 5 _

_ Repeat. _

Brooke closes her eyes and repeats the process over and over again, and surprisingly after a few times she finds her thoughts slowing down with her breathing. Soon after, she’s asleep, head lolled to the side and resting on her travel pillow. 

\--

Brooke had always liked the idea of weddings, the pretty dress, the music, the love, everything about weddings enamoured her. But, something about the Hytes’ was that they had an unwavering ability to make every function boring as all hell. Her aunt looked beautiful, sure, but it was nothing to marvel at. Her dress was plain, her husband was plain, the music was boring, and even the venue was dull to look at. 

Halfway through everyone’s long, insufferable speeches, her mind wanders to her own wedding. She imagines she’d walk down the isle first, or maybe Vanessa, though it wouldn’t matter, as long as Vanessa was the one she was marrying. She likes to think she’d feel more beautiful than she’s ever felt before on her wedding day. Maybe with a glittering dress that looks like something straight out of ‘ _ say yes to the dress’.  _

She’s halfway through her imaginary vows when someone roughly pokes her shoulder, ripping her from her lovesick thoughts.

Turning around, she faces a man, most likely around her age.

“Hey,” he whispers.

She replies with a smile, she didn’t recognize him, so he must be from her aunt’s new husband’s family.

“You wanna go grab a drink? Not gonna lie, this is pretty dull. I can see you getting all lost in your thoughts.”

Brooke stifles a laugh before her mother death glares at her, but nods her head anyway, ignoring said death glare as she gets up and heads to the open bar(the only thing her family seemed to do right when it came to weddings).

They both order their drinks and head off to the empty reception hall.

The first half of her drink goes well, the man, who she figures out is named Tyler, is actually pretty funny. Though, she does scoot away when he rests a hand on her thigh. When she downs the last of her cocktail, her head feels a little fuzzy, she never was one to hold her alcohol very well. She rests her head on the wall behind them and closes her eyes.

“You alright?” he asks, his hand scooting suspiciously far up her leg.

She jerks her leg back, “yeah. I’m okay,” she replies, though her head is still a little foggy.

“Guess you won’t mind if I do this then.”

His hand quickly glided up her leg as he leaned across Brooke and attempted to press his lips to hers, though even with her lack of coordination she manages to dodge the kiss. 

“What the fuck?!”

“What? You’ve been giving me flirty eyes all night!”

“No I fucking haven’t and even if I was that definitely doesn’t give you the right to kiss me,” she hisses, though if she were anywhere but a wedding she might have screamed.   
“No, you were totally giving me ‘fuck me eyes’ this entire time. Fucking slut.”

Brooke’s chest tightened with the familiar feelings of anxiety.

“Please,just get the fuck away from me,” she says through gritted teeth.

He scoffs, “whatever, bitch.”

When he walks away Brooke’s more than relieved, but the feeling of the walls caving in on her only seems to get worse.

She fishes for the folded up paper she shoved in her clutch for today, just in case she needed it.

Rereading over Vanessa’s loopy handwriting makes her crack a smile but it doesn’t bring her back to earth like it did a few days ago on the plane.

But the words at the end catch her eye.

_ I really hope these things work for you, if not, I’m always a phone call away. _

She felt bad calling Vanessa, but maybe even hearing her voice for just a second would help.

She quickly dials Vanessa’s number and presses the sFaceTime icon.

Only seconds later Vanessa picks up, her smile bright and her eyes sparkling.

“Hi, baby!”

“Hey, Ness,” Brooke replies quietly.

It wouldn’t take someone who was an expert on Brooke to know something was off, but luckily Vanessa was damn near an expert at reading the blonde’s emotions.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, her voice tilting with concern.

Brooke fakes a smile, “nothing really, I just miss you is all.”

Vanessa smiles softly and Brooke can hear the shutting of a door on the other line.

“Okay. I’m alone now. Now, spill. What’s bothering you?”

Brooke takes a shaky breath, “just having some anxiety is all. No biggie.”

Vanessa can see right through her lies though.

“Brooke,” she says, her voice stern but sweet, “please tell me what happened. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on. Where are you? At the wedding?”

“Yea.”

“Okay, what happened? Was it your family?”

Vanessa knew that Brooke’s family was a lot different than her own. While Brooke never outwardly spoke negative of them, Vanessa could tell that her family expected a lot from her, and they hadn’t exactly encouraged her to do things she wanted. Brooke had told her once they begged her to major in law or medicine or something else practical, and not dance, even though that’s where Brooke belonged.

“No, not this time,” Brooke laughed bitterly, “I had a drink with some boy from my aunt’s husband’s side of the family and it was fine, everything was fine, and then he kept trying to touch me and kiss me even after I asked him to stop. Then he called me a slut and accused me of leading him on but I-I wasn’t and I just wanted to have a good time but now I can’t seem to get my heart to stop beating so fast, Vanessa, please help me, please-“

Vanessa cuts her frantic rant off with gentle hushes,” shh, shh baby, you’ll be okay. I’m here, it’s going to be alright,” she soothes. “Come on baby, I want you to breathe with me, yeah?”

“Okay.”

“Okay, ready. Breathe in and to 5. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Now breathe out on the count of 5 again. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And we’re gonna keep doing that til you okay again, Mary.”

They go through it four times together before Brooke’s breath becomes less ragged and evens out a bit.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

“Better,” she mumbles, “thank you, Ness.”

“Anytime, baby, anytime.”

“I’m really sorry I bothered you though,” Brooke says, her cheeks hot with embarrassment.

“Hey, don’t be sorry. It’s what I’m here for. I don’t want you to feel anxious, and I want to help.”

“I forgot to tell you, I opened another one of your letters the other day.”

Vanessa smiles wide,” oh yeah? Which one?”

“Well, I was panicking on the plane the other day, and I read your letter and it actually worked.”

Vanessa’s smile falters a bit and she sighs, “Brooke, what’s going on? You’ve been doing so good with your anxiety lately.”

“I think it’s just a little bit of everything, to be honest.”

“What do you mean everything?”

“It’s just, plane rides freak me out in general so like that’s not really a surprise that I freaked out, and you know how my family is. I love them, they just make me feel like shit sometimes and then the whole thing with this guy and on top of that , _ fuck _ , I fucking miss you, Ness.”

“I miss you too,” Vanessa says softly, “only three more days though, babe.”

“That still seems so far away,” Brooke whispers, her expression seeming embarrassed almost. 

“I can’t wait to see you again. It’s been hard for me too. Especially ‘cuz my ma keeps askin’ about you, just keeps reminding me how much I miss your white ass.”

Brooke snorts, her mood suddenly piquing at the thought of Vanessa gushing about her to her mother.

“What does she ask anyway?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Brookie,” Vanessa says with a wink.

“I would very much like to know, Nessie.”

“Nothing too crazy, mostly just things like ‘how does that white girl put up with your loud ass?’ and I say ‘mama that’s love.’”

“Sometimes I don’t even know how I put up with your loud ass,” Brooke giggles.

“Oh come on now, blondie, you know you like it when I’m loud.”

Vanessa winks, tossing her hair over her shoulder. 

“You’re insufferable, truly,” Brooke teases, the light put back in her eyes and smile.

They stay quiet for a moment, relief settling over Vanessa’s features due to Brooke acting like herself again. 

“You know I love you right?”

“Of course I do, you tell me all the time. I love you too, you know.”

“I just want to make sure you know how much I love you and appreciate you, though. It’s hard to believe I went twenty years of my life without you.”

“I feel the same way about you, B.”

They’re staring at each other, they’re grins love sick in every sense of the phrase, when wedding guests start to file into the reception hall.

Brooke sighs, hating to have to cut their talk short, “I gotta go, baby, people are coming in now.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later, okay? I love you and have fun.”

Brooke rolls her eyes, “I definitely won’t, but I love you too.”

“Hey, next spring my cousin is gettin’ married, you’ll be my plus one and us Latinas will show you a real wedding.”

“Sounds like a plan. But I really gotta go now, before my mom finds out what I’ve been doing in here. Bye, baby.”

Vanessa blows her one last kiss before hanging up the line, Brooke’s soul feeling so much lighter after talking to Vanessa even for a little while. And not to mention the pang of excitement she gets when she had mentioned her own family’s weddings. She hoped their wedding would be like that, full of love and rich cultural traditions, things her own family didn’t really have.

Though, she was sure even a simple city hall wedding would be perfect as long as it was with Vanessa. 


	6. This is our place, we make the rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life comes at them fast after graduation and brings many changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this milestone, our girls jump over obstacles and and deal with stressers that lead up to them moving in together

_ Congratulations, _

_ Vanessa Isabel Mateo, RN, BSN _

Relief flooded Vanessa's chest as she read the computer screen. Shs had done it! She passed her nursing boards. That was the last thing on the list. She had completed her classes and all of her clinical hours, she was officially a nurse. 

The first thing she did when she left the test hall was call her mom.

" _ Mija, _ I'm so proud of you, I knew you could do it,  _ vas a ser genial, salvando bebes! Tan orgulloso, muy orgulloso!" _

"Ma!" Vanessa laughs, "slow down, I'm glad I can make you proud. I'll see you next week for graduation, yeah?" 

"Yes, yes," her mom says, "next week. I'll see you next week, my little  _ enfermera prodigio!" _

Vanessa rolls her eyes, "alright, mama, I love you."

Vanessa hangs up, and is tempted to call Brooke but instead she just heads over to Brooke's apartment.

"B, your old lady is here!" Detox opens the door and calls down the hall.

Brooke runs down to the living room, anticipation written all over her face. 

"Well?! How did you do?! Did you pass?! I've been waiting for you call!"

Brooke's face was light, excited. Vanessa was all but jumping up and down. 

"I pas-"

The words weren't even fully out of her mouth and Brooke was picking Vanessa up into a tight hug and swinging her around. 

"-sed!" Vanessa finished, and then dissolved in a fit of giggles, Brooke's excitement was so cute. 

"I'm so proud of you!" Brooke said, and then pressed kisses in various spots all over Vanessa's face and finally landing on her lips. 

Detox made a gagging sound from the couch, then laughed like she just told a joke. 

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"I'm joking," Detox said, as though she just knew the reaction she just got from Brooke. She probably did, they've been friends long enough, "congrats, Vanessa. I know it was stressin you out!"

"Oh, Mary it wasn't just stressin me out, it was  _ aging  _ me! I've never felt this way. Tryna remember four years worth of knowledge, ugh. I'm so glad it's over!"

Brooke grabbed Vanessa's hand and was starting to gently pull her down the hall towards her room.

"That's my cue," Vanessa laughs, "talk to you later, D."

Brooke guides Vanessa to her room and while she's locking the door, Vanessa does a running jump and lands on the bed. 

"Break my bed frame, I dare you." Brooke tries to look stern, but fails when a giggle escapes.

Brooke lays down next to her, exploring the features that ashe's fallen in love with, the girl she can't imagine her life without. 

"When do you have to leave?" Vanessa asks, hesitant.

"My flight is tonight. I'll be back tomorrow night. Twenty-four hours max, baby."

Vanessa nods. 

Brooke had to fly to New York to have a formal audition with the ballet company, but she had to be back before her final exams with her classes, so her next 24 hours were going to be very, very busy. 

Vanessa's next 24 hours were going to be very, very lonely. She was trying not to think about it.

"Do you have everything?" Vanessa asked, and Brooke knew what she meant by  _ everything,  _ remembering spring break when she forgot her xanax.

"It was the first thing I packed, baby."

Vanessa gave her a soft smile and grazed her lips across her cheek. 

"Gonna miss you."

"It's twenty-four hours." Brooke said, but she knew she would miss Vanessa just as much.

"And?" Vanessa raised an eyebrow, challenging her. 

Brooke laughed and shook her head, "I'm going to miss you too, Ness. But I'll be home before you know it."

"I'm not leaving your bed." Vanessa said, matter-of-factly, "I'm staying right here for the next day."

Brooke laughed, her girlfriend was impossibly adorable. 

"I'm going to take a shower before my flight," Brooke says, changing the subject, she leaves in, nips Vanessa's earlobe causing the smaller girl to let out a yelp, "wanna join?"

~*~

Brooke feels a lot of things about her audition. She thinks about it constantly, goes over each move in her head over and over again, did she angle her foot like this? Did she bend her elbow like that? 

She needed it to be perfect. She needed this spot. Graduation was in one week, and then her and Vanessa really needed to figure out what their next step was. 

"When did they say they would call?" Vanessa asked, it was halfway through the following week and the girls were studying for their finals the next morning. 

"They said it could be a few days or a few weeks."

Vanessa gave her a sympathetic smile and reached out, giving her shoulder a squeeze. 

"I had a thought," Brooke starts, voice slightly shaky. 

"What's up, Brookie? What's goin through your lil blonde head?" 

"After graduation, the dorms are obviously closing."

_ Crap. _ Vanessa thinks, she hadn't really thought about that, but she nods. 

"I want you to know that you can stay here until we figure out what our next steps are. I promised you we would move in together when we graduated, but we don't know if we are staying or going. It would be silly to get our own place, so you might as well-" 

Brooke's words are cut off by Vanessa's lips on hers. 

"I'll take that as a maybe?" Brooke says when they pull apart, earning her a light shove to the shoulder. 

"Bitch, you better take that as a hell fuckin yes!" Vanessa shouts, and Brooke's heart grows warm. 

Graduation day is very busy for the girls. The ceremony is long, the day is hot, and they just want to go home. Brooke and Vanessa are sat at opposite sides of the hall, but that doesn't stop them from making faces at each other, causing the other to giggle. The giggles, in turn, cause them to receive dirty looks from their classmates, not that they care. 

Vanessa's name is called and she walks across that stage with her head held high, and her brightest smile as she hears her own personal cheering section ring loud through the hall, along with Brooke, who can be heard apart from them. 

Vanessa's family cheers for Brooke too, and Vanessa can see Brooke's face turn many shades of pink and red. But she shines as she floats across the stage. 

"You did it, Brookie," Vanessa says to herself. She is so, so proud. 

The minute they're released from the ceremony, Brooke rushes to the spot her and Vanessa picked to meet up. Vanessa is there with her mom and Brooke can see her parents walking towards her. 

"Congratulations, dear." Her mother said, hugging her stiffly, while her dad patted her on the back. 

"I think we are going to go get lunch," Vanessa says, "you're welcome to join!"

"What do you guys think?" Brooke asks her parents.

They both shake their heads, "I think we'd like to go back to the hotel and nap."

Brooke's heart sinks a little, but she covers it with a smile, "okay, well I'll call you later and we can have dinner."

She hugs her parents and they hurry away. Vanessa sees sadness in her girls eyes and quickly kisses her cheek, hoping to kiss her worries away. 

"I love you, Brookie," she says, "and I'm so proud of you."

Brooke smiles, because how could she not when she is so loved by Vanessa. 

Halfway through lunch, Brooke's phone lights up with a phone call. Chills run down her spine and she freezes for a moment. Vanessa notices the change and immediately turns her attention to Brooke. 

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"The number, that's the- its a-! Fuck!" Brooke answers the phone before it goes to voicemail, "hello?"

"Hello, is this Brooke Lynn Hytes?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Hi, Ms. Hytes, my name is Michelle and I'm with the New York Ballet Company."

Brooke feels the blood in her veins run cold.

"You had an audition with us last week, correct?"

"Yes, correct, I did."

"Well, I am pleased to inform you that the directors of the ballet would like to officially offer you the spot. Are you interested?"

Brooke is stunned, and for a moment she had lost her words. 

"Ms. Hytes, are you there?"

"Yes, yes I'm here, I apologize. Yes I am very interested."

By now, Vanessa can assume what has happened and is bouncing in her seat. 

"Wonderful, well I'd like to start with saying congratulations, and let me just go ahead and confirm your email so I can send you some paperwork."

The phone call goes on for another 5-ish minutes and when Brooke hangs up she apologizes profusely to Vanessa and her mom, both of which basically tell her to shut up. 

"I got the spot, and they want me there by the end of August." Brooke says softly, the whole thing is very surreal right now. 

Vanessa throws her arms around Brooke's neck.

"Congratulations, baby. I knew you could do it."

~*~

After she got the call, Brooke's anxiety was in overdrive. She now how to move to New York, this was obvious, but it wasn't something her and Vanessa had really talked about. Vanessa moving with her meant leaving everything behind in LA. What if she didn't want to do that? What if she laughed in Brooke's face? Her friends were here, she had a life here. What if she wanted to stay here?

Just days after graduation, Vanessa was moving in with Brooke and Detox. It was mid-June and it was time for Brooke to start organizing her move. She was so stressed and she knew she needed to ask Vanessa. 

Vanessa, on the other hand, she had been spending her free time daydreaming about a life with Brooke in New York. She was worried though, she didn't know why Brooke hadn't talked to her about it yet. Shouldn't they be looking at apartments? What if Brooke didn't want her to move with her? Vanessa felt sick when that thought crossed her mind. 

One night, about a week after Vanessa moved in, they were laying in bed and Brooke just couldn't turn her brain off and fall asleep. She laid on her side, cradling Vanessa to her chest, and absently stroked her hair as she slept. She wanted this to be her future.

_ I'm going to talk to her tomorrow… _ Brooke vows, before she falls asleep. 

Brooke wakes up to nothing but sheets on Vanessa's side of the bed the next morning, but the sounds of pots, pans, and Vanessa's kitchen playlist tell her that her girl is underway with breakfast. 

On her way to the kitchen, Brooke makes note of Detox's empty room. She must've already headed to work. 

Brooke stood at the entrance to the kitchen, and what she saw warmed her heart. This is what she wanted her mornings in New York to look like. Vanessa was wearing one of her tshirts. A shirt that, while normal size on her, was way too big on Vanessa. Happiness filled Brooke's body as she watched Vanessa dance around the kitchen with the mixing bowl. 

"Good morning!" Brooke called, careful not to startle Vanessa.

Vanessa turned around and gave a bright smile, "good morning, baby." 

Vanessa danced over and gave Brooke a quick kiss. 

"Are pancakes okay?" She asks. 

"Pancakes sound great." Brooke says, and she sits at the table while she waits. 

After breakfast, Brooke starts to get antsy. She knows she needs to talk to Vanessa about New York. She's very deep in thought. She just cant find her words, she's afraid Vanessa will say no. 

"Brookie?" Vanessa pulls her back to the present. 

"Hi baby," Brooke says softly.

"What's on your mind, baby?" Vanessa asks, "cause I know there's somethin goin through that pretty little head of yours."

"There is," Brooke starts, "I've been thinking about New York."

Vanessa's eyes get big, "Mary, if you be thinkin bout changin your mind and turnin down the spot, Ima kick your ass."

"No, no. I'm not going to turn the spot down, Ness. This is my dream."

Vanessa felt relieved, "so what is it then, baby?"

"I wanted to talk about you, us, and what's going to happen."

Vanessa felt her heart speed up. 

"O-okay."

Brooke takes a deep breath, but before she can get the words out, Vanessa speaks again. 

"Please tell me you ain't dumpin my loud ass." Vanessa blurts out, hoping that her worst fears aren't coming true. 

Brooke looks up at Vanessa, who's eyes are now watery and full of tears, and her heart breaks. 

"Baby, no! Definitely not!" Brooke gets up and reaches for Vanessa's hand. She pulls her towards the couch and sits with Vanessa on her lap. 

"I want you to come with me." Brooke says softly. 

Vanessa just looks at her for a minute.

"Are you insane?" Vanessa finally asks, and Brooke looks at her confused, "of course I'll come with you, you beautiful idiot!" 

Vanessa presses a kiss to Brooke's forehead. 

"Has that really been causing you all this stress baby?"

Brooke nods, slightly embarrassed, "I was afraid that you would want to stay here, that you would want to stay with your friends and be a nurse here."

"Baby, I can be a nurse anywhere, and I have a phone, I'll keep in touch with my friends, but I don't want to be on separate sides of the country from you."

Brooke smiles, and presses a kiss to Vanessa's temple. 

"So you want to come with me?" Brooke clarifies.

"Yes, Brookie, I've been waiting for you to ask."

Brooke grins and she kisses her girl deeply. 

"Well then we need to start looking for a place, Nessa, because time is ticking." Brooke kissed Vanessa's temple and got up to get her laptop. 

Over the next few weeks, Brooke and Vanessa looked at apartments online, and talked about how they wanted their lives in New York to be, and what they wanted the apartment to look like. 

It was getting frustrating though. The nice apartments were obviously more expensive. The smaller apartment but still in the nicer neighborhoods were still very, very expensive. It seemed right now that their only options are rundown studio apartments on the rougher side of the city. Brooke didn't want to put Vanessa in that kind of environment. 

Vanessa wanted to help Brooke, so she decided to sell her car. It was ancient and not going to make the trip across country anyways. What she didn't expect was to only get $1,000 for it. But nobody would give her a better offer. 

_ Oh well,  _ she thinks to herself,  _ it's better than nothing.  _

One evening about a week after they started looking at apartments, Brooke and Vanessa were laying in bed. Brooke stared at the ceiling lost in thought, while Vanessa looked at apartments online. They sat in silence until Vanessa gasped, startling Brooke out of her thoughts. 

"What is it?" Brooke asks.

"Baby, look at this place!" Vanessa says, excited, and turns her computer towards Brooke. 

Vanessa flips through the pictures and Brooke falls more in love with each one. The place was cozy, not too big, and it was in a good part of the city. It was exactly what they were looking for. But Brooke's stomach turned when she saw the price. $3,000 a month for rent. That won't be a problem once they get settled in their jobs and established, but the website says they will need a deposit, and first months rent. Brook feels sick. 

"Baby," she says softly.

"I know." Vanessa says, "I'll keep looking." 

Brooke's heart breaks, she wants to give Vanessa everything. 

"Stop looking for tonight, baby, let's just get some rest." 

Vanessa agrees and puts away her computer. She settles in next to Brooke, and an idea crosses Brooke's mind. She has some calls to make. 

The sun shines in through the curtains and wakes Brooke up bright and early. Her plan from the night before crosses her mind and she tries to crawl out of bed without waking Vanessa. Brooke grabs her phone and goes down the hall to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She dials her mom's number. 

"Good morning, Brooke Lynn." Her mom sounds stiff as always. 

"Hi, mom, how are you? How's dad?" 

"We are fine, do you need something?" Her mother asks, sounding slightly sour, Brooke tries to ignore it.

"Well, I told you about how I got the spot with the New York ballet, and I'm moving to New York in a month and a half, and mom I just need help," Brooke's voice cracks on the last words, "I need to be able to get a nice place to live and once I get established there I will be fine and I will be able to pay you back but I just need help starting out."

There's silence on the other line and Brooke looks at the screen to make sure the call wasn't dropped, it wasn't.

"Mom?"

"I'm still here, I'm just trying to figure out why you called me."

"Mom, I-I need help." Brooke says, voice sounding so small, she can't even recognize it.

"Brooke Lynn, we told you from the beginning that going down this career path was a terrible idea. You could have chosen a sensible career, like a lawyer or a doctor, and then you wouldn't have this problem. But not only did you not listen to us, but now you expect us to help you? I'm sorry, dear, but you'll have to figure this one out on your own." 

Brooke sits in silence for a moment, stunned, tears welling up in her eyes. She hangs up the phone, she can't believe the words her mom just said. She curls into a ball on the bathroom floor and gives in to the sobs. Her parents didn't want to help her? That's fine. She can live with that. Her parents didn't support her dreams of becoming a dancer? That broke her heart. 

She sat on the bathroom floor for who knows how long, cried until she couldn't. There was a soft knock on the door. 

"Brooke, you in there?"

It was Vanessa. Brooke reached up and opened the door. She can only imagine the mess that Vanessa looked in on. 

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Vanessa asked, kneeling down and wiping Brooke's tears.

Brooke tells Vanessa about the conversation with her mom and Vanessa's heart breaks. 

"I'm sorry, Vanessa, I'm trying everything."

"I know, baby, don't worry, " Vanessa presses a kiss to Brooke's forehead, "we gonna figure this out."

Vanessa helps Brooke up and tells her to go lay back down.

"I'll bring you breakfast." Vanessa smiles.

As Vanessa makes breakfast she makes a call to her own mom. She just needs to talk. 

"Hi  _ mija, _ " her mom says when she answers the phone.

"Hi mama," Vanessa tries to make her voice sound cheerful.

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Because, Vanessa, I know you, now what's wrong?  _ Venga,  _ tell me."

Vanessa goes on a rant, recapping everything that has happened. 

Telling her mom about Brooke's problems with her own mom is difficult for Vanessa. It breaks Vanessa's heart because she has such a good relationship with her own mom. 

"Oh,  _ mija,  _ I'm so sorry. First of all, tell Brooke that I am proud of her enough for the both of her parents. If they can't see what a delight she is, then that is their problem and they have to live with that. Second of all, I want you to let me help yo-."

"Mama, no!" This had not been Vanessa's intention at all. Vanessa knows how tight money gets for her mom, being that she has Vanessa's siblings to care for. She doesn't want to be a financial burden, "mama, I can't ask you to do that."

"Nonsense, Vanessa, you're not asking me, I'm telling you."

Vanessa didn't know whether to laugh or cry, she almost did both. 

"I have money saved and I can help you. I'm very proud of you and I'm very proud of Brooke Lynn. I want to help you."

Vanessa starts to cry, she's so very thankful for her mother. 

She finishes the call with the final details and decides that, yes, her and Brooke are going to apply for the apartment. She runs down the hall to the bedroom and is happy to find that Brooke hasn't quite fallen asleep yet.

"Baby, baby, my mom said she would help us." Vanessa says sitting down on the bed in front of Brooke. 

"What?" Brooke asks, slightly confused.

"Mom said she will help us but we have to apply for the apartment now."

Brooke nods and her and Vanessa gets started on the application. 

~*~

"Babe, are you sure you packed everything from the kitchen?" Brooke called. 

"Yes, baby, I got everything that wasn't Detox's."

"I mean, you could've taken Detox's stuff too, I don't think she would mind." Brooke shrugs.

"I'm right here, bitch, don't touch my shit." Detox says, giving Brooke a shove, and then wrapping an arm around Brooke's shoulder, "Gonna miss you, B."

"Gonna miss you too, D," Brooke says softly, "but you'll have to come visit us when we get settled."

Detox nods.

"Well, I think we have everything." Vanessa says.

Silky and A'keria pull her into a tight hug, while Detox and Nina do the same with Brooke. Tearful goodbyes are shared and Brooke and Vanessa climb into Brooke's car. Vanessa immediately reaches for the aux cord and Brooke can already feel a headache. 

"Bitch, you already know that club Vanjie is about to be open!" Vanessa giggles.

Brooke shakes her head. 

"Ready babe?" Brooke asks.

"Ready."

Brooke nods and starts to drive. 

The drive to New York takes around two days with stops for sleep and food. The girls are completely exhausted by the time they reach their new home, but a wave of energy hits when they pull up outside. 

"Babe! Stop, I gotta take a picture." Vanessa says, stopping Brooke from going inside right away.

Vanessa makes Brooke pose in front of the building and she sends the picture to their friends and her mom. 

They get outside their door and Vanessa makes Brooke take another cheesy picture, and then another one when they get inside because  _ You're going to want these memories one day!  _ and Brooke knows she's right. 

Little by little Brooke and Vanessa make this place their home, ready for their next adventure.


	7. if you can do it for my sake, do it for our sake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke and Vanessa's first big fight.

The first month in New York had been interesting for Vanessa, to say the least. She had never felt so lonely yet so at home all at once. She lived for the city, the bright lights and tall buildings mesmerizing her every time she took a cab home after a long shift. And her job, she was  _ in love _ with her job. It was everything she hoped it would be, her sense of humor even getting her through the less than glamorous parts of working as an OB nurse. She loved being in the room where at one moment there were four, and then there were suddenly five, and a smile on the mother’s face that rivaled the brightness of the sun, she loved it. 

She loved her job, but something still ate away at her. She felt  _ lonely _ . The other nurses at the hospital were all nice, but she didn’t seem to click with any of them, at least not in the way she immediately clicked with Silky and A’keria when they first met. And Brooke, she had Brooke but it felt like at times she didn’t. They both knew that between back to back rehearsals and shows that Brooke would be busy, what Vanessa hadn’t anticipated though, was that Brooke would befriend so many of her colleagues so quickly and that she would hang out with them all the time after work. Vanessa was happy for Brooke, really, she was. Brooke had worked her ass off for her entire life to get where she is, how could she not be incredibly proud? It just happened to sting a bit when by the time Brooke got home she was so dead tired from dancing all day and then hanging out with her new friends that she fell asleep before Vanessa could even give her a goodnight kiss. 

Though, Vanessa was looking forward to tonight. She and Brooke had decided that since they both had the night off they would spend it together. Vanessa was going to make a nice, romantic dinner for them and they were gonna just hang out and be around each other for the night, which is something they hadn’t had in what seemed like forever.

When Vanessa had gotten home from her day shift she kicked off her work shoes and peeled off her scrubs, the ones printed with the little kitties and hearts(that Brooke had picked out for her, thank you very much) and sat her tired ass down in the bathtub with a glass of wine. She had a few hours before Brooke would be home, so there was plenty of time for a nice bath before she had to start dinner. 

By the time she got out, her fingers and toes were wrinkly and her face was red from the steam, but she felt relaxed and was ready to spend the night with her favorite person. She dresses in a simple cotton dress, but the real party was underneath, where she wore a baby pink lingerie set she’d picked up a while ago and hadn’t had the chance to show off.

She felt delight curl in her stomach when she started dinner, it really had been way too long since it was just her and Brooke with a night to themselves. 

By the time dinner was in the oven, Brooke was about to be done with rehearsals and on her way home, so Vanessa plopped herself down on the couch, one of the cats they’d adopted curling up in her lap. It was one of the first things they did after they’d settled in. They took a ride down to the shelter a few blocks over with their hearts set on a kitten. But getting there, Brooke had fallen in love with a huge cat named Henry, who had a brother that they didn’t wanna separate him from. So, now they had two cats and Vanessa’s mom had flown here with Vanessa’s dog, Riley when she came to visit. Between them and the pets, they had a full house. 

She was halfway through a rerun of “ _ America’s next top model”  _ when she realizes Brooke definitely should’ve been home by now, even if rehearsals had run a bit late, she still should be home by now. Worry tightens her chest as she reaches for her phone to call Brooke.

After three calls she still hadn’t picked up. Getting up, she nervously paced the living room.  _ What if something happened? What if there was an accident? Or what if someone had hurt her? _

_ Or what if she simply just forgot and went out with her friends again. _

The last thought creates a sinking feeling in the pit of Vanessa’s stomach. She probably would have heard by now if Brooke was hurt, right? So, it was more likely she wasn’t here by choice. 

Another hour passes, Vanessa had taken dinner out of the oven and even set it up on the table, just in case she really was just running late, though at this point Vanessa wasn’t so sure.

After more than two and a half hours of waiting, finally, the lock on the front door jiggles. 

_ Well, at least she’s alive,  _ Vanessa thinks before she lets herself get too angry. However, when Brooke comes stumbling in, clearly a little drunk, Vanessa’s blood boils.

“Hi, Nessa!” Brooke chirps happily, oblivious to the anger radiating from her girlfriend.

“Where the hell have you been?” Vanessa damn near explodes. 

“I just went for drinks after rehearsal, it was nice to wind down a bit after a long day,” she says, still oblivious. 

Vanessa has to stop herself from laughing because of course, Brooke had forgotten all about the fact that they barely see each other and this was supposed to be their night.

“You have got to be kidding me right now.”

“What’s your problem?”

If Vanessa had been a cartoon, smoke would’ve started pouring from her ears as her face turned beet red.

“What’s my problem? Are you serious? Fucking look around you, Brooke Lynn! We were supposed to spend the night together and you just fuck right off and go hang out with your new friends, who are obviously more important than me,” she yells, her voice reaching volumes that Brooke had never even heard from her before, which was really saying something. 

Brooke’s face falls when she remembers, “oh, Nessa,” she whispers.

“No, you don’t fucking get to call me that right now.”

“I’m sorry, I just forgot. I promise it was an accident.”

“I don’t care that you just forgot. We hadn’t spent any time together since we moved here. I moved all the way across the fucking country for you and you damn near ignore me!”

Brooke suddenly turns defensive, “you knew what you were getting into! I told you my schedule would be crazy and you said you understood.”

Vanessa laughs bitterly, “Brooke, this isn’t about your hectic schedule, it’s the fact that you have all these new friends and you’ve been choosing them over me and I’m your fucking girlfriend!”

Brooke steps closer to her, pointing an accusing finger, “it’s not my fault you’re so fucking jealous.”

“Jealous?” Vanessa scoffs, “I wouldn’t have to be jealous if you’d just treat me like you gave a fuck.”

“Well, maybe if you would stop being so fucking hard to be around sometimes you could make some friends of your own and you wouldn’t feel this way,” Brooke says, her voice eerily calm.

Vanessa’s heart falls and tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

“You really feel that way, huh?” She whispers.

Brooke’s face falls when she realizes what she’d actually said. She steps forward and reaches for Vanessa.

“Baby, no, I-“

Vanessa shakes her head and pushes Brooke’s hands away.

“No, you said it, you must mean it to some extent,” tears fall freely from her eyes now, “I’ll just get out of your hair.”

Before Brooke can even say anything more Vanessa slips on a random pair of shoes by the door, not even caring about the fact that they were Brooke’s and were definitely too big for her and slams the door behind her, leaving Brooke alone with her thoughts. 

Brooke's heart shattered. Why had she just said that? The pain on Vanessa's face, the hurt in her eyes, she never meant for that to happen. It was an accident. She didn't mean to miss dinner. She lost track of time. 

Brooke moved around the apartment. She didn't want to just sit and wait. She cleaned up the dinner table and put the food in the fridge and the dishes away. She hopped in the shower and turned the water as hot as she could stand it. She felt grimy, she felt terrible. She had hurt Vanessa with her words and she hated it. They had never fought like this, they’d had little arguments in the past, but nothing so bad that either of them had left without apologies being said. Nothing so bad that Brooke was unsure if they’d still be  _ Brooke and Vanessa _ come morning.

Brooke gets out of the shower and dresses in her PJs. She checks her phone, no text messages, no call. She tried calling Vanessa and it goes straight to voicemail. Brooke just assumes her phone died. She hopes that Vanessa will be able to get home okay. 

Brooke curls up on the couch, and half watches a movie while replaying the fight in her head. 

_ “it’s not my fault you’re so fucking jealous.” _

Why did she say that? That was so harsh. 

_ “Well, maybe if you would stop being so fucking hard to be around sometimes you could make some friends of your own and you wouldn’t feel this way,” _

Those words had absolutely sliced Vanessa in half before Brooke's very eyes. She tried calling Vanessa again, still no answer. Panic swirls in Brooke's chest. Something doesn't feel right. 

Brooke somehow must have fallen asleep because sometime later she jerked awake. She was laying on the couch. The clock read 1:07 am.

"Vanessa?" She called. 

Silence. 

She gets up and checks the rooms of the apartment. She's definitely still gone. Brooke starts to panic. What should she do? Call the police? Call Vanessa's mother? Should she even do _anything?_ Vanessa was a grown-up, she was responsible enough to keep herself out of trouble, this Brooke knew, yet still, she just needed to know that Vanessa _had_ made a responsible situation and was somewhere safe. She decides to call Vanessa's mom, thinking maybe Vanessa at least told her where she went, but as she's about to dial the number, her phone starts to ring. An eerie feeling washes over her when she sees that it's Vanessa's mom calling  _ her.  _

"Hello?" Brooke says, voice slightly shaky.

"Brooke?" Vanessa's mom said, her voice sounded off, she sounded unnerved, "I need you to stay calm."

With those words, Brooke felt her heart rate speed up, and she was about to be anything  _ but  _ calm. 

"What's happened?"

"There's been an accident, Vanessa, she's- it's- there's been an accident and you need to go to the hospital,  _ now." _


	8. you'll get better soon, 'cause you have to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Brooke and Vanessa's fight.
> 
> title from 'soon you'll get better' by taylor swift

_ Two hours earlier... _

The second the door shut behind her, Vanessa wished it hadn't, but she couldn't turn back now. As much as she wanted to run back in and accept Brooke's apology, she needed some space. Brooke's words hurt. They cut Vanessa like a knife. Vanessa knew she could be too much sometimes, knew she was loud, but never expected Brooke to say those things about her, to feel that way towards her. How long had she felt that way? Anger bubbled in her chest. She needed fresh air. 

She stumbles a little over her shoes, and she looks down, realizing she accidentally grabbed a pair of Brooke's sandals instead of a pair of her shoes. Still, she doesn't turn around. 

Vanessa leaves the apartment with no destination in mind. She hadn't really gotten a chance to explore the neighborhood, wanting to do that with Brooke when they had a chance. So she wandered to the right and walked down the sidewalk.

The city was beautiful at night. Vanessa loved it. The cool air of the evening helped calm her. She should turn around, but she keeps walking just a little farther. She will go home soon. 

She gets to a crosswalk and makes a left, curious about the shops that are down there. Excited, Vanessa makes a mental note of the candy shop, the clothing shop, and the flower shop, and turns around to head the other way. She crosses and heads down the other side street. There's a restaurant down here, Italian by the looks.

_ Maybe Brooke would like to come here,  _ s he thinks. 

Vanessa checks her watch, she's been walking for nearly an hour. She decides it's time to head back. Vanessa pulls her phone out of her pocket and presses a button but it doesn't light up. 

"Damnit," she says, realizing it's dead, "hope I can remember how to get home."

Vanessa walks back towards the way she came and makes a left. She walks along the sidewalk, looking for familiar signs that she's going in the right direction but sees nothing. 

Then she realizes that she needs to be on the other side. The crosswalk isn't for another long stretch of sidewalk, so what's the harm in crossing now?

Vanessa steps out into the street, making sure that no cars are coming, and starts walking. Halfway across the street, a car turns on the street and is flying towards her. They came out of nowhere and they clearly weren't paying attention. Vanessa tries to hurry but with shoes bigger than she's used to, it's difficult. She stumbles and falls to her knees. As she gets up, the car is still coming towards her, with no signs of slowing down. Vanessa freezes, all communication to her feet seemingly turned off and she's glued to the spot. The car hits her and she rolls over the top of it, landing on the pavement behind.

_ "Oh my god!"  _ She hears, the voice sounds from miles away.

The last thing that crosses her mind before everything goes black is Brooke, if only she was here. 

—

“ What happened? Is she okay? Please tell me she’s okay, please,” Brooke pleaded.

“I don’t know, they won’t tell me anything over the phone, please call me when you know anything.”

“Okay, fuck, I’m going. I’ll let you know as soon as I know anything.

“Thank you, please drive safe. We don’t need both of you hurt.”

When the line goes dead on the other side, Brooke lets out an agonizing sob as she hurries up from the couch. The only thing she manages to do is throw on some slides and grab the car keys as she rushes out the door, not even caring about the fact that she was in her pajamas, with no jacket whatsoever. 

It frustrated her to no end that she didn’t  _ know  _ what was going on. Her mother knew nothing, as the hospital wouldn’t tell her of her own daughter’s condition over the phone. Brooke was a planner through and through and the unknown made her heart pound wildly in her chest, especially due to the fact that she didn’t even know if Vanessa was  _ alive _ . The slight thought of that not being the case was enough to make Brooke almost lean her head out the window to vomit.

She sped to the hospital as fast as legally possible, she would have gone faster but it’d be no help if both of them ended up in the hospital.

After parking the car, she sprints inside. She hadn’t even paid any attention to the front desk, running right past it before the nurse at the desk yells to her.

“Ma’am!”

Brooke slowly turns around, realizing she hadn’t even known where she was going.

“Please, I need to see Vanessa Mateo, she was admitted here, please I need to know she’s okay,” Brooke manages between sobs.

The nurse takes in her dismal state.

“Why don’t you come over here with me, honey? I’ll find out where she is, okay?”

Brooke solemnly nods her head, following the nurse back to the front desk.

“Okay, sweetie, what did you say her name was?”

“Vanessa Mateo.”

The nurse stays silent while she types the name into her database.

“Ok, and you are? It seems she’s in surgery at the moment-“

Brooke almost collapses, her legs feeling like jello underneath her. Vanessa was in surgery. Because of her. Vanessa was hurt and in surgery because she was a terrible, shitty person to her and made her leave. It was all her fault. 

“Ma’am? Are you alright?”

“I don’t know,” she sobs, leaning over and clutching her chest.

“Okay, okay, all I need is your name and I’ll let you upstairs and have the doctors give you updates, okay? Can you just give me your name, please?”

“Brooke Lynn Hytes,” she mumbles because that’s all she can manage.

“Okay, Brooke Lynn, how are you and miss Mateo related?”

“She’s my girlfriend.” Well,  _ maybe,  _ at this point. 

The nurse looks at her with sympathy in her big blue eyes, “okay, so here’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to put in here that you’re her wife and that I checked your ID and it all checks out, so if anyone asks you, you’re her wife. That’s the only way I can let you up to the surgery waiting room since it’s family only.”

Brooke never knew she could be so grateful for a stranger.

“Thank you so much,” she says, sincerely. 

The nurse smiles at her, warmly, “okay, so she’s on the fifth floor, just take that elevator to your right and the front desk up there will be able to help you. Just remember, you’re her wife.”

Brooke nods and heads over to the elevator, pressing the button to the fifth floor. 

The elevator ride feels like hours even though it’s really less than two minutes, but the aching in her body to know if Vanessa’s okay makes everything seem drawn out, unbearably so.

When the elevator finally dings and opens it’s doors to the surgery wing, Brooke is almost relieved,  _ almost. _

She speedwalks to the front desk of the floor, not even caring about the weird look the lady sitting there gives her.

“Who are you here to see, ma’am?” She asks before Brooke can even say anything.

“Vanessa Mateo.”

The clacking of nails on a keyboard almost drives Brooke insane as the lady types in Vanessa’s name.

“Ok, so it looks like she just got out of surgery-“

Brooke lets out a breath of relief, the surgery couldn’t have been too long, which is good, right?  _ Or she died right away and they couldn’t revive her and ‘out of surgery’ just meant that, that she was out of surgery.  _

Brooke pushes the thought down and lets the woman continue.

“I’m not authorized to give you any information on her at the moment, but I can send you to room 6 to speak with the surgeon as well as a few others.”

_ Oh no. _ Brooke’s head spins as she takes in the information. It definitely wasn’t good that they couldn’t give her any information right away.

Brooke swallows harshly, “ok, thank you.”

“No problem, and hey, she’s alive, but that’s all I can say.”

Brooke smiles gratefully at her, silently thanking her for silencing her absolute worst fear.

With that, Brooke takes off to find room 6, where a team of doctors awaits.

She walks into the room, clearing her throat to get the attention of the group of doctors that stay huddled around a clipboard. 

“Are you here for Miss Mateo?” one of them speaks up.

“Yes, please tell me she’s going to be alright,” she says, hating how her voice sounded so pleading and weak.

“Ok, so Miss Mateo suffered a pretty traumatic accident, are you aware of what happened?”

Brooke shakes her head, feeling guiltier than ever.

“She was walking, presumably back home, and she was hit by a car. That’s all the paramedics told us.”

Brooke falls to her knees, a guttural sob escaping her lips.

One of the doctors rushes to her side, kneeling next to her and rubbing her shoulders.

“It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault,” she mutters into her hands.

She sobs into the doctor’s shoulders, dry heaving when no more tears are left.

“Are you okay to stand, ma’am?”

Brooke nods and lets the doctors help her to her feet, though one of them quickly pushes a chair behind her and lets her sit.

“Are we okay to continue?”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” Brooke squeaks.

“It’s okay, we understand.”

“Alright, as I was saying, she suffered a pretty traumatic accident. However, her vitals were stable coming in, as well as throughout surgery. She has a broken leg and a few broken ribs, but her spine is okay, which is a great thing. The only thing we are overly concerned about is her head injury. She hit her head pretty hard going down and we don’t know when she will regain consciousness.”

He pauses for a minute, letting Brooke process the information before continuing again.

“It could be hours, could be weeks, maybe even months. It’s tough to tell, but because her vitals were so stable throughout it all, it’s unlikely she’ll have any permanent damage due to lack of oxygen, but we don’t know the extent of the damage she sustained when she did it her head. Physically, she won’t have any permanent damage, but it’s hard to tell if she sustained any brain damage until she wakes up.”

Brooke takes a deep breath, “When can I see her?”

“We’ll bring her here in just a moment, you can wait here in the meantime. Is there anyone you’d like us to call for you?”

Brooke shakes her head, figuring it’d be best for Vanessa’s mom to hear from Brooke herself.

“Alright, we’ll be back shortly.”

With a nod of his head, the doctor and his team head out of the room, leaving Brooke alone once again.

Brooke takes the first few moments alone to decompress. Vanessa was alive and stable, but all that might not even matter if she ends up with no memory or something.

Her thoughts are interrupted by her phone ringing, the shrill sound making her head pound.

She fishes her phone from her pocket, sliding her finger across the screen to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Brooke,” Vanessa’s mother breathes from the other line, “are you with her?”

“No, they’re bringing her back from surgery soon. I’m waiting in her room.”

Brooke can hear her mother choke back a cry, “Oh, my poor baby needed surgery. What else have they told you?”

“Her vitals were all fine throughout everything, but she hit her head-“ her voice cracks, “they don’t know when she’ll wake up or what state she’ll be in when she does.”

“But she’ll wake up, yes?”

“I don’t know,” she admits softly.

“Oh my god,” Ms. Mateo sobs, her voice breaking with every word, “Brooke, what happened? Why was she out so late by herself?”

Brooke can barely bring herself to admit it was all her fault, but she deserves the cruel words Vanessa’s mother was sure to throw at her.

“It was my fault. We got in a fight and she left. It’s all my fault. If I had remembered this wouldn’t have happened, it wouldn’t have,” she bawls.

Vanessa’s mother sucks in a breath, her heartbreaking for Brooke.

“Hey,” she says, sternly, breaking Brooke from her got of crying, “you’re here now, that’s what matters. I know you love her more than anything and people fight sometimes, none of this is your fault.”

Brooke doesn’t believe her but is somewhat relieved she didn’t chew her out and tell her to leave Vanessa’s life and never come back.

“I’m going to drop the boys off at my sister’s house and I’m getting on a plane, okay? We’ll get through this together and we’ll both be there for her when she wakes up.”

“Okay. Travel safely,” Brooke says.

“I will, please call if you get any more updates.”

When Brooke hangs up the phone, the doctors return with Vanessa’s bed in tow.

Brooke’s heart breaks when she sees her. She looks so  _ small _ , much smaller than she usually does. Bruises litter her arms and legs and one leg is done up in a white plaster cast. The scariest part is the tube coming out of her mouth, apparently helping her breathe. 

Brooke sits quietly while they hook Vanessa up to more machines, every tube and wire coming out of her making her look more and more fragile.

When they finish, the one that did all the talking before turns to Brooke.

“If you notice anything, please press the call button and we’ll come right away, okay? And meanwhile, make sure you get some rest yourself.”

Brooke can’t bring herself to speak, she only nods as they leave the room. 

Pulling her chair up closer to Vanessa’s bedside, she takes one of her delicate hands in hers.

“Nessa, I’m so so sorry, please wake up, I need you so much. I can’t live without you, please.”

Brooke hopes that maybe, like in the movies, her speech would trigger Vanessa to wake up and everything would be okay, but this isn’t a movie. This is real life and Vanessa still lays there unconscious for god knows how much longer. 

Brooke opened her eyes, she was very disoriented. It took her a moment before the memories of the night before came flooding back to her. 

_ Oh yeah, the fight, Vanessa leaving, the accident and then- _

She looked at Vanessa in the hospital bed. She looked so vulnerable, weak even. There were wires and tubes connected everywhere. She had IV lines in each arm, the wires on her chest to watch her heart, and of course, the tube down her throat to help her breathe. 

It didn't get any less scary the more Brooke looked at it. 

Brooke sat next to the bed, holding Vanessa's hand when a nurse came in. 

"You're awake!" She says, smiling, "my names Asia, I'm going to be taking care of Vanessa today."

"Brooke, I'm her- I'm her wife." Brooke manages to say. 

Asia nods, "honey, would you like to go home and recharge? She's in good hands and you look like you could use a short break."

Brooke doesn't have the energy to be offended by Asia's words, she knows they were meant with no malice. 

"I can't leave her." Brooke says, quietly, "what if she wakes up and I'm not here? She'll think I've abandoned her. I can't leave her."

More tears collect in the corners of Brooke's eyes, although she's not quite sure where they came from, all she's done is cry. 

"Oh, honey. We won't let her think that. But you're no good to anyone, especially yourself when you're running on fumes. She is in good hands, I've got her. Go on sweetie, take a break." Asia encourages. 

Brooke thinks for a second, she would feel better with a hot shower. She decides to run home, just for a few minutes, to shower and change. She also has to feed the cats and Riley. So that's what she does. She doesn't want to be gone longer than an hour, hour and a half tops. Vanessa's mom was on her way and Brooke just, well, she needed to be there. 

By the time Brooke got back, freshly showered and changed, Vanessa's mom had taken the chair at her bedside, tissues in hand. Brooke stood in the doorway, careful not to startle her as she whispered little prayers in Spanish for her baby girl. Brooke almost felt like she was eavesdropping on a private moment. She started to step to turn away when Ms. Mateo turned around and saw her. 

"Brooke Lynn!" She said, getting up to rush over and hug the young girl she considered her other daughter. 

The tension Brooke was holding in her shoulders released and she all but collapsed into Ms. Mateo's embrace. 

"Oh, sweetie. It's going to be okay. It will." Ms. Mateo said, running her fingers through Brooke's hair. 

It was calming to Brooke. Ms. Mateo let Brooke go and went back to sitting in her chair. Brooke went to the other side of the bed and stood by Vanessa's head. 

"Morning, baby." She said softly, leaning down to place a kiss on Vanessa's forehead. 

Pulling up another chair, Brooke sat and held Vanessa's other hand. 

This is what the next couple of days was like. Brooke and Vanessa's mom took shifts that way someone was always there, but this way someone could go back to the apartment for a break. 

Vanessa was post OP and post-accident day four, Brooke was holding her hand and trying not to fall asleep.  _ Something  _ urged her awake though. Vanessa's hand in hers. Vanessa's hand was moving. Her arm was moving. Brooke looked at Vanessa's face and her eyes were open, if only just a little bit. Vanessa was moving her hand and trying to reach for the tube, but Brooke grabbed her hand to stop her. She definitely didn't need Vanessa trying to pull the tube out on her own. Brooke reached for the call light to get the nurses in her  _ now.  _

"It's okay, baby, you're safe," Brooke says, "it's okay." 

Brooke gave Vanessa's hand a squeeze and Vanessa gave a light squeeze back. 

"I love you, baby, I love you so much, and I'm so sorry, so, so sorry," Brooke whispered, and Vanessa nodded her head just a little, letting Brooke know she understood.

The nurses rushed in and floated around. Brooke moved to the back of the room while she waited for them to extubate Vanessa. 

"Welcome back, Vanessa," Asia said, smiling. 

Vanessa nodded at her, but really, all she wanted was Brooke.

Asia calls in Vanessa’s team of doctors and they rush in.

“How long has she been awake for?”

“Only a few moments, she squeezed her hand,” Asia replies, nodding her head towards Brooke.

“BP’s fine, she’s breathing on her own, I think we can extubate her,” one of the team members pipes up.

The rest of the team nods in agreement.

“Okay, Vanessa, blink if you can understand us.”

Vanessa does as she’s told, blinking her eyes a few times for good measure.

“Great, okay, we’re going to take the tube out of your mouth. You may feel some pain, but it’s best to stay still.”

“Wait!” Brooke chimes in, “isn’t there a way to do it without pain? Can’t you give her anesthetic or something? I’m sure she’s already in so much pain.”

“Ma’am, with all due respect, please let us do our jobs because we don’t know the extent of her head injury, it could be very risky to put her back under; especially for such a quick procedure. She’ll be okay.”

Vanessa winks at her as if to say ‘I’ve got this, don’t worry’, but Brooke will always worry, it’s just in her nature. 

Brooke curtly nods her head, softly apologizing for interrupting. 

“Vanessa, we’re going to take it out on the count of three, okay? 1..2..3..”

After the count, the doctor carefully pulls the tube from Vanessa’s throat, causing her to cough and sputter violently, which in turn, causes her to wince in pain, presumably from the broken ribs. Brooke panics and rushes to her bedside, rubbing her back.

“ ‘M okay,” she croaks, shooting Brooke a weak smile.

“Miss Mateo, can you tell us what month and year we’re in?”

Vanessa thinks for a moment, “uhh, October 2020?”

“Good, do you know who’s here with you?” The doctor nods towards Brooke.

“Yeah, that’s Brooke, my girlfriend,” she answers confidently.

“Brooke is your wife, are you aware of that?”

Vanessa glances over at Brooke, who looks at her pleadingly.

“Oh right, duh. We just got married and it still feels a little surreal,” Vanessa laughs, wincing a bit.

“Alright, one more question for you, Miss Mateo, do you know why you’re here?”

Vanessa’s quiet for a moment and Brooke’s heart pounds in her chest.

“I-I don’t remember, the last thing I remember was I came home from work and I took a bath and now I’m here.”

“Short-term memory loss is normal for head injuries, what’s important is your long-term memory. Your short-term memory will likely return, in the meantime, we will let you catch up with your wife and rest and we’ll be back to check on you shortly.”

“Thank you, doctors,” Vanessa says, as softly as her crackling voice will allow her.

Once all the doctors and nurses are out of earshot, Vanessa turns to Brooke with a smirk on her face.

“Wife, huh? So, did you take my last name or did I take yours?”

Brooke chuckles with tears in her eyes, “we hyphenated them, yours first, of course.”

“Mateo-Hytes, huh, I like the sound of that. So all these flowers and balloons from you, my doting wife?”

“Some of them are. Word travels fast around here, I think the entire OB department stopped by in the last few days.”

“Speaking of a few days, how long was I out for?”

“Four days,” she replies, biting the inside of her cheek as she watched Vanessa’s reaction.

“And you been here the whole time? What about your shows and rehearsals?”

“Baby, you’re so much more important than any of that. Besides, my understudy was chomping at the bit to get on stage, and she’ll be able to do that until you’re better. I’m not leaving your side until you’re okay again.”

“I’ll be able to fend for myself, Mary,” Vanessa says with a smile, “you gotta keep those twinkle toes on stage.”

Brooke laughs, so very relieved Vanessa still was herself, “not until you literally force me to go away.”

“You know what, I’mma take it. Can’t wait for foot rubs on demand, breakfast in bed, sex  _ whenever  _ I want, and you have to do all the household chores.”

Brooke sits down to her side with a chuckle and kisses her forehead, “anything for you, my wife.”

They’re quiet for a moment, Vanessa absentmindedly playing with Brooke’s fingers before she speaks up.

“Brooke, what happened that night? I can’t remember anything.”

Brooke tenses up, her heart rate picking up.

“Vanessa, I-” she starts crying before words can even come out, the guilt consuming her. Vanessa gently rubs her back and hushes her. Brooke feels utterly ridiculous being comforted by Vanessa when she’s the one who needs comforting.

“You’re gonna hate me forever because it was my fault. You wouldn’t be in here if it weren’t for me,” Brooke cries, her nails digging into her palm.

“Hey, I could never hate you,” Vanessa promises, taking Brooke’s hand before she can hurt herself more, even though that seemed to have been her coping mechanism for the past few days as there are four perfect crescent shapes etched into her palm, “and besides, unless you actually threw me out of a building or something then I don’t think this is your fault. Just tell me what happened, baby, I won’t be mad.”

“Okay, just know I won’t blame you if you want me to leave.”

“Never, baby,” Vanessa coos, kissing the back of Brooke’s hand.

“So, a few days ago, we both had the night off,” she starts, caving in on herself a little bit, “and we were gonna spend it together. You made dinner and we were gonna relax and spend time together since we haven’t in a while.”

“Yes! I remember those plans, what happened after?”

Brooke feels lightheaded when she thinks about  _ after _ .

“Um,” she pauses to wipe the tears from her eyes, “I forgot about it. I forgot about it and I went out while you were at home waiting for me.”

Vanessa’s silence kills her, but the words keep tumbling out. She figured Vanessa would remember eventually, so it was better she didn’t lie.

“You were waiting for me and I came home super late, and kinda drunk. You were so mad, you were yelling at me and at first I was just confused. I was  _ confused,  _ then I got defensive and I said some awful things that I didn’t mean, but I was just  _ angry. _ And I was low-balling, I know I was, but I said those things still. Then, you left. You left and I didn’t know where you went until your mother called me in a panic when she found out you were here. Later, I found out you were hit by a car and  _ Fuck,  _ I’m so sorry, Vanessa, I’m so fucking sorry. It’s all my stupid fucking fault.”

There was so much pain in Brooke's eyes, it broke Vanessa's heart. She reached up and wiped the tears away the best she could. 

"Hey," she said softly, "it's okay, I'm okay now. Don't worry, Brookie."

Brooke gives her a small smile, and they sit in silence for a minute. That silence is interrupted by a knock on the door. It's Asia, the nurse. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but the doctors want us to take Vanessa down for some scans to see how her brain is looking."

Brooke and Vanessa both nod. 

"I'll stay here and call your mom, baby."

"My moms here?" Vanessa asks, eyes real big. 

"She flew in the day after the accident. She's at the apartment right now."

"Tell her to get here, I miss her."

"I will, baby. I'll be here when you get back, I promise" Brooke says, and they wheel Vanessa away while Brooke dials her mom's number. 

Vanessa's mom made it to the hospital in record time, getting there just in time to see them bring Vanessa back from the scans. 

" _ Mija! _ " She sobs, kissing Vanessa's forehead over and over. 

Brooke decides to give them a minute and heads out to the waiting room to make some calls and update their friends. She's halfway through texting Nina, Silky, Detox, and A'keria in their group chat when Ms. Mateo rounds the corner. 

"She's upset with you, Mija,” she says teasingly. 

Ms. Mateo had taken to calling Brooke that over the last couple days and she will admit, it made her feel warm. The words before it, though, made her cringe.  _ She's upset with you.  _ Did she remember the terrible things Brooke said during the fight? Does she want to break up and move to Florida with her mom? Panic rises in Brooke's chest. 

"She said you promised her you would be there when she got back." Brooke let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "You're not there are you?"

"No, ma'am." Brooke says softly with a smile to match, "I was just updating our friends, giving you guys a private family moment." Brooke says, walking over into Ms. Mateo's open arms.

"Now Brooke, you're apart of our family now too, haven't you heard? You and Vanessa are married,” She says softly, and Brooke giggles. 

“Alright, I’ll head back in there. Thank you, Ms. Mateo, for everything.”

“You better, and call me Alexis,” she says, her eyes so soft and full of love as she pulls Brooke in for a hug.

They head back to Vanessa together, not wanting to leave her alone for too long. 

Brooke and Vanessa’s mother stay for the rest of the day, alternating between letting Vanessa rest and keeping her awake with silly stories and reruns of shitty reality TV shows on Brooke’s iPad. Silky even calls at one point, claiming to make sure Vanessa still remembered her, but Brooke knew it was more than that. She knew Silky was just as scared that she would lose her best friend as Brooke was to lose her girlfriend.

Around 7, Vanessa’s mother proclaims she better leave the newlyweds alone for a while, making them both snort with laughter as she kisses both their foreheads and heads back to their apartment. 

When they’re finally alone again, Vanessa moves to one side of the hospital bed, patting the spot next to her for Brooke.

“I don’t know, baby, you’re probably in a lot of pain. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you,” she admits, biting her lip. 

“If you do, I’ll tell you, but c’mon. I miss being close to you,” she says, making grabby hands up at Brooke.

Brooke’s lost in thought for a moment, but she  _ had  _ promised Vanessa anything she wanted, and she had seemed to want Brooke close to her. 

“Okay, but if anything hurts, anything at all, tell me and I’ll get up.”

Vanessa salutes her, “aye aye captain.”

Brooke shakes her head fondly as she climbs next to Vanessa, very carefully. Once she settles she looks over to Vanessa for cues, nothing on her face says she’s experiencing any discomfort, in fact, her expression says the opposite.

“I’ve missed this,” Vanessa sighs, leaning her head on Brooke’s shoulder.

“Me too,” Brooke whispers. Brooke hadn’t even realized she started crying again before Vanessa’s wiping her tears away with her thumb.

“Hey,” she says softly, “why are you crying?”

“Nessa, I almost lost you.”

“I know, but I’m right here. See, I’m okay. The doctors said everything will be fine.”

“Yea, but-“

Vanessa shakes her head, “uh-uh, no but’s. What happened has already happened. You’re here now and I’m okay.  _ We’re okay. _ I’m gonna get better and everything’s gonna go back to normal.”

Brooke nods, a small smile cracking on her lips when Vanessa nuzzles against her.

It’s quiet for a little, everything that needed to be said had already been said and they were just enjoying being close to each other. Until Brooke lets her mouth take over, ignoring the anxieties about what she’s about to say running through her head.

“Ness?”

“Mmhm?”

“Are you awake?”

“Sort of.”

“Marry me,” Brooke whispers.

“What? Brooke, I-“

“This isn’t the formal proposal, I promise. I know you deserve to be wooed and I want to get you a nice ring, but I want to know if this is something you want. I know it’s only been a little less than two years, but I want to marry you, if you want to marry me, that is.”

Vanessa’s quiet, almost too quiet and Brooke’s worried that she overstepped or maybe even hurt her somehow. But the thoughts are silenced when Vanessa leans over and kisses her sweetly.

“Of course I want to marry you, Brooke. I’m pretty sure I would’ve said yes if you got down on one knee the time we went roller skating.”

“Ness, that was our first date,” she teases, poking Vanessa’s cheek.

“Exactly, blondie. But know you ain’t getting away with this as the proposal. I wanna be romanced, hoe!”

Brooke laughs, the statement so typically Vanessa it was ridiculous.

“Of course, it’ll be so romantic you won’t even expect it.”

“Oh I better not, Mary. You best surprise me.”

“You got it, baby girl.”

“I love you, Brooke. Thank you for being here for me.”

“I love you too, I’ll always be here,” she says, pressing a kiss to Vanessa’s forehead.

Even though she’s definitely not supposed to be in bed with Vanessa, Brooke gets the best sleep she’s gotten in four days that night, feeling so at home with Vanessa tangled up in the sheets with her. Maybe it wasn’t ideal as machines beeped around them, but Vanessa was okay and she was safe and that’s all Brooke cared about. 

  
  



	9. Don't let your lips be still, say you will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa plays the game "did Brooke propose or was I actually high on painkillers?"

Vanessa was released from the hospital a couple of days later, almost a week after the accident. They had to make sure that her wounds were healing properly and that Brooke knew how to dress them, even though Vanessa is a nurse herself. They had to make sure that her throat and lungs were not damaged from the intubation, and they had to teach her how to move and transfer without putting stress on the broken ribs, and weight on the leg. 

Getting home was a relief to Vanessa though. The first thing she wanted to do was shower. She couldn't stand and she couldn't get the cast wet, so Brooke brought in a chair for her to sit in and she stuck her leg out of the shower. It was the best thing she had ever felt. 

Brooke propped Vanessa up on the couch and put a movie on. 

"What do you want for dinner baby?" Brooke asks, placing a kiss to Vanessa's forehead. 

"Pasta sounds good." Vanessa says, eyes full of hope. 

"Uber eats it is." Brooke grins and Vanessa laughs. 

Brooke orders dinner and the cats climb up onto the couch with Vanessa. 

"Baby, I'm going to take a quick shower, but I'll be back in time to get the food ok?" Brooke says.

"Okay, babe."

Vanessa laid there lost in thought. Something had been bothering her for the last couple days. She didn't know if it had actually happened or if she had dreamt it. But it's been on repeat. 

_ “Ness?” _

_ “Mmhm?” _

_ “Are you awake?” _

_ “Sort of.” _

_ “Marry me,” Brooke whispers _ .

Vanessa  _ had _ been awake...for the most part. She was on so many different medications,and a few of them for pain that, she was extremely dopey and drowsy. Of course she wanted to marry Brooke. But what if she dreamt the whole thing? What if she asks Brooke about it and she looks at her like she's insane? Brooke hadn't said a word about it and that worried Vanessa very much. She concludes that she just dreamt it.

But she didn't, and it's all Brooke can think about because  _ Vanessa wants to get married _ , well after a proper proposal of course. 

So that night when Vanessa is propped up on the couch eating her pasta, Brooke is sitting in the recliner eating her salad and looking at rings. She had texted Silky and A'keria earlier in the day, sending them ideas and waiting for feedback. They knew her probably even better than Brooke did, and Brooke knew her pretty well.

Brooke wanted to get the perfect ring. 

_ It has to be flashy. _ A'keria had said.

_ Definitely flashy. Something she can show off.  _ Silky agreed. 

Brooke definitely understood. She kept looking.

"Who you tippy tappy textin to, Mary?" Vanessa asks, pulling Brooke from her thoughts.

"Oh, uh, just updating Detox and Nina. Letting them know we are settled." Brooke smiles, it's not really a lie, because she  _ did  _ text Detox and Nina, but that was like an hour ago, "how's your pasta, babe?" Brooke turns the subject away from her. 

"Better than the hospital bullshit." Vanessa grumbles, but then smiles. 

She's so happy to be home. 

As soon as Vanessa was able to move around the apartment safely by herself, Brooke started going back to rehearsals, this was about 3 weeks after the accident. 

"Remember, no weight on that leg." Brooke says, for the hundredth time. 

Vanessa rolls her eyes, "yes dear."

Brooke kissed Vanessa and out the door she went. All through rehearsal she was worried about Vanessa though. Randomly texting to make sure she was doing alright. Vanessa tried to tell her she was fine, but Brooke still worried, she always worried. 

Vanessa is in the cast for two months, getting it off right in time for Christmas. She still had to use the crutches for a little support, and she had to be extra careful because it was still weak, but she was walking, and she was happy, she hoped that she could return to work soon.

Around Christmas, Brooke found the perfect ring. It was the right amount of flashy and the right amount of classy and it was 100% Vanessa. It even got the stamp of approval from Silky and A'keria. Brooke had to save a little more in order to afford it though, but by the beginning of January, she was able to purchase it. 

Once she bought the ring, things became more real for Brooke. She had the ring, she had the girl, now she had to figure out the  _ how.  _

Vanessa got her wish and was able to return to work after the first of the year. While Brooke was stressed about the proposal, Vanessa was nervous about going back to work, excited, but nervous. 

Vanessa got up with her first alarm, bright eyed and bushy tailed, which was strange for her, but she was just so excited to go back to work.

Brooke had already beat her out of bed and was in the kitchen working on breakfast. 

"Morning baby." Vanessa said, bounding into the kitchen. 

Brooke looks at her, bewildered, "babe, I didn't expect you to be awake already, I was prepared to flip the mattress." Brooke says, kissing her girlfriend. 

"I just feel really good about today." Vanessa smiles, "I can't wait to jump back in."

Brooke beams at her, "alright, well hanging up on the back of your closet door is a dress, and a bag of accessories, I want you to take it with you to work and wear it home. We have plans tonight." Brooke explains. 

Vanessa's cheeks turn pink, "you bought me a dress?" 

Brooke nods, "and I can't wait to see you in it." 

Vanessa gave Brooke one last kiss and then went to get in the shower while Brooke finishes breakfast. 

They eat breakfast, Vanessa buzzing with excitement. 

"What time is your rehearsal today?" Vanessa asks.

"Oh, I don't have one today." Brooke answers, nonchalantly. 

Vanessa raises an eyebrow, "you always have rehearsal."

She shrugs, "not today."

Vanessa looks at her suspiciously, but drops it. 

"Alright, well I'll be home around 7." Vanessa says, getting up to take her dishes to the sink, "I have to get going. Thank you for breakfast baby." Vanessa places a kiss to Brooke's lips and heads towards the door.

"Baby, take it easy today, if your leg hurts, sit down ok?"

"I will Brookie, don't worry."

Vanessa blows her a kiss and rushes out the door. A wave of anxiety rushes over Brooke when the door closes. The last time Vanessa left the apartment alone, she ended up in ICU. She got her phone and sent a quick text to Vanessa to let her know when she got to work safely. 

Vanessa saw the text and it calmed her heart. She smiled and texted back that she would. 

Brooke spent the day getting ready. She bathed and shaved and exfoliated. She cleaned and romanced the place out. Rose petals everywhere, candles on the tables, Vanessa was an incredible woman, the love of her life, and she deserved this. 

When it came time to start dinner, Brooke was sure she was going to fuck it up. She got out all the ingredients for Vanessa's favorite pasta dish and pulled the recipe up on her phone. 

"If I follow this to a  _ T, _ " Brooke says to herself, "then it'll turn out perfect, right? Right."

The pep talk continued all through the preparation of the meal until she felt confident.

Dinner is about done and it's 6pm, and Brooke still has to get ready. She heads to the bedroom and starts her hair and makeup, nothing wild, just something simple. Brooke chose her favorite black dress, she pulled it from her closet and ran her fingertips over the chiffon material. She felt heat rise in her cheeks as she remembers one of the last times she wore this dress, her and Vanessa's first Valentine's day. 

As she zips up the dress, she hears the door open and her heart skips. Her girl is home. 

"Babe?" Vanessa calls, absolutely awestruck. 

Brooke rushes down the hall, and her breath catches when she sees Vanessa standing there in the dress she bought her. 

"You look amazing, baby." Brooke says, pulling Vanessa close.

"So do you," she smiles.

"How was your day, Nessa?" Brooke asks as she takes Vanessa's hand and guides her to the kitchen where she sets out wine glasses.

"Oh, Brooke, it was perfect. It was so good." Vanessa gushes as Brooke pours the wine, "the girls welcomed me back but at the same time, they acted like I'd been there the whole time. They didn't act like I couldn't do the job or nothin, and I helped deliver a healthy set of twins, and oh, Brookie, they were beautiful. It was a good day."

Vanessa's face was light, and excited. Brooke knew she loved her job and she loved hearing her talk about it. Her eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas.

"Brooke," Vanessa cuts herself off, "what smells so good?" 

"I made your favorite for dinner." Brooke blushes. 

Vanessa's jaw dropped, "you cooked? And our building ain't burned down?" 

Brooke gave her a gentle shove, "it might not be perfect but I tried."

"Baby, I'm sure it's perfect." Vanessa leans in and kisses Brooke softly on the lips, "well what are you waiting for? I'm starved!"

Brooke rolled her eyes and got dinner out of the oven. Vanessa walks over to start making a plate but Brooke stops her.

"No, no. Go have a seat. I'll bring you a plate." 

Vanessa was awestruck again. What had she done to deserve such doting? She grabbed her wine and took her place at the table, waiting for Brooke, who followed moments later with two plates of good looking food. 

_ Please let it taste as good as it looks.  _ Brooke prays as she sets a plate down in front of Vanessa. 

Taking the seat across from Vanessa, Brooke watches intently as Vanessa gathers a mouthful of pasta on her fork. 

Vanessa takes her first bite, Brooke ignoring her own plate while she tries to gauge her reaction.

“ _ Oh my god! _ ” Vanessa moans, “fuck, Brooke, this is so good.”

Brooke breathes a sigh of relief, “fuck, thank god. I was so afraid I’d fuck it up. You know I’m not the better cook out of the two of us.”   
Vanessa laughs, remembering the time Brooke nearly scorched their kitchen while trying to make a pizza. A pizza, premade, so that all she had to do was put in the oven and wait,and that’s it. 

“That’s for damn sure,” Vanessa teases, sticking her tongue out.

Brooke playfully rolls her eyes, “alright, alright, well, at least this turned out okay.”

“I know,” Vanessa laughs, eyeing Brooke suspiciously, “who’d you get to make this for you?”

Brooke fake pouts. “Hey! I worked hard on this.”

Vanessa smiles and squeezes her hand.

“I know you did, baby, I’m just playing with you. What made you do all this anyway?”

“A lot of things actually,” Brooke starts, “for starters, I wanted to celebrate your first day back, which, I am so incredibly proud of you for. It’s also almost our second anniversary, and of course, I’ll take you out again on the day, but hey, who says we can’t celebrate more than once. And lastly, I just love you. I still feel bad we never got our night together after what happened. I know we’ve spent a lot of time together since, but now that you’re finally better, I figured we could use some more time spent together doing things other than helping you out of the shower.”

Vanessa throws her head back in laughter, her pearly white teeth on full display.

“I know you liked helpin’ me outta the shower a little too much there, Mary.”

Brooke blushes but hides it with an amused smile, “so what if I did?”

“Ohhhhh, girl, you gettin’ some of this tonight! I ain’t care if our neighbors hear shit!” Vanessa yells, making Brooke blush deeper and almost choke on her wine.

“Ness, keep it down,” she says, trying to stifle her giggles.

Vanessa winks, taking a sip of her own wine, “I wasn’t lyin’ when I said I didn’t care.”

“You are something else, you really are.”

Vanessa shrugs. “You love me,” she says matter of factly.

Now that’s something Brooke can agree on. 

“I do, I really do, V.”

The rest of dinner goes wonderfully, both of them clean their plates and clear a whole bottle of the fancy wine that Brooke had splurged on, but hey, it was a special occasion. By the time they fall onto the couch in each other’s arms it’s close to 10. They had really spent almost three hours at the table, drinking in each other’s company.

Before they had sat down Brooke had put on a romantic playlist, compiled of all their favorite songs. She was waiting for one specific song in particular. She had planned this out meticulously, setting up the queue exactly the way she wanted it. At first ‘turning page’ would play, and that would be her cue. She would ask Vanessa to dance, they’d move the coffee table out of the way and she’d hold Vanessa close and sway her from side to side. Then, the next song that would play would be  _ their  _ song. The song they’d slow danced to time and time again, from the time Vanessa came to her crying about failing a test so she’d put the song on and held her close while they swayed and to the first night they’d spent in their apartment and Brooke had played the song while they held each other in the kitchen, the only light coming from the dim ceiling light. 

Brooke had set it up so that a couple songs in, the cue song would play, trying to make it seem as inconspicuous as possible. 

That way they had time to relax, before she pulled Vanessa to her feet. Though, as each song plays and passes she gets more and more anxious. So much so that Vanessa places a calming hand on her sternum, something that always brought her back down to earth. And it does. Brooke’s able to stop herself from spiralling when she looks into Vanessa’s warm brown eyes. It was then that she knew she wasn’t afraid. She loved Vanessa more than anything, and that’s a fact she’s never doubted even for a second. 

After the third song ends, the soft piano of ‘turning page’ pulls her back to her mission.

“Ness?”

“Hmm?”

“Is your leg bothering you at all?” 

“Uh, no, not at all, why?”

“Dance with me?”

Vanessa smiles all warm and loving as she eagerly nods. Brooke helps her stand up and pushes the coffee table to the side of the room, giving her ample room to spin Vanessa around like the princess she is. 

Once everything is out of the way, including the dog, who’d tangled himself up in Brooke’s feet making her almost trip, Brooke pulled Vanessa against her chest and swayed her from side to side, just like all the times before. And just like all the times before, Vanessa had sighed contently into Brooke’s shoulder, effectively making her heart grow three times it’s size.

“I love you,” Vanessa whispers into her shoulder.

“I love you more,” Brooke retorts, a smirk on her face.

Before Vanessa can even come up with a snarky response, the song changes and the first notes of ‘ _ can’t help falling in love’  _ ,specifically their favorite female cover, ring through the speaker.

“Brooke! This is our song! The one we always dance to,” she chirps excitedly.

Brooke chuckles, “I know, baby.”

Brooke dips Vanessa in her arms and spins her around three times and by the time she turns back around, Brooke’s lowered herself to one knee, making Vanessa gasp in surprise.

“Vanessa,” she begins, tears already welling in both their eyes, “there are so many things I could say to you to make this perfect. You know me, I’m a planner and I’ve planned this moment ever since that night in the hospital, but I still didn’t know what I would say to you. So, this is me saying what I feel, unrehearsed and unplanned.”

Vanessa laughs, wiping a few tears from her eyes.

“Ness, when I was a freshman in college, Detox found this girl that she dated for quite some time and she had said that she fell in love. I told her I didn’t believe love would ever happen for me, so she said and I quote, ‘bitch, you’re a liar. I’ll bet you $20 you’ll be head over heels for some girl by the end of senior year’, being the stubborn person I am, we shook on it. The night after our first date, she joked that I should pay up and I said that we weren’t in love yet, but the night after I took you dancing I knew then that I had found my person. That night I fished $20 from my wallet and left it on her pillow.”

“Oh, Brooke,” Vanessa whispers through tears. Brooke had never told her that story before and it touched her that she knew that early on, just like Vanessa knew the night that Brooke took her home and asked her silly questions all night instead of them sleeping together and regretting it in the morning.

“From then on I knew that I was falling in love with you. And to this day I am even more in love with you than I ever thought could be possible for me. When you got hurt and I didn’t know if you’d make it,” she pauses to choke back a sob that threatens to leave her mouth, “and when you did, when I knew you were gonna be okay, I knew I couldn’t wait, so I asked you then. And here I am, doing it over again, because you deserve something as romantic as all those shitty romance films you watch and not anything less. So, Vanessa, will you marry me?”

Brooke pulls out the ring box and opens it, revealing the most beautiful ring Vanessa had ever seen. It was gold and the diamond in the center was  _ huge _ and sparkled when it caught the light. It was everything Vanessa had posted on her wedding pinterest board when she was in high school, but so much better.

Smiling through her tears, she laughs, “and here I thought I was so high on pain meds that night that I had dreamt that.”

“So, is that still a yes then?”

“Yes, bitch! Of course, it’s a yes. I’d marry you 100 times over and over.”

Brooke stands to her feet and pulls Vanessa in for a kiss, neither of them caring how salty each other’s lips tasted from the tears. When they pull apart, Brooke takes Vanessa’s left hand, slipping the ring onto her finger and kissing it.

“Perfect,” she whispers, pulling Vanessa in for another kiss, "and now, for dessert."

Brooke picks Vanessa up bridal style, causing the smaller girl to squeal, and carried her down the hall to their bedroom, leaving the music to play on in the living room.


	10. church bells ring, carry me home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day comes sooner than expected.
> 
> Title from "it's nice to have a friend" by taylor swift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I created a pinterest for this reason. And here is Brooke and Vanessa's "official" wedding board. 
> 
> https://pin.it/2vyxioitc7tzbh

"What do you think of orange and black?"

"Ness, we aren't having a Halloween wedding." 

Vanessa rolled her eyes dramatically. 

"It's the first thing I think of when I hear fall. You gonna turn down every idea I have, Brookie?" She asks. 

Brooke ignores her, "what about burgundy?"

Vanessa thinks about it for a second. They had decided on a fall wedding and burgundy was definitely a fall color. 

"It would look good with your skintone, Nessa." 

"I'll be wearing white, Brooke." Vanessa says, deadpan. 

Brooke throws a pillow at her. "You know what I meant. It'll look good around us."

"Burgundy and what though?" Vanessa flips through boards on  _ Pinterest.  _

"Green? Orange? Teal? Gold?"

"Gold?!"

"Gold."

"Burgundy and gold." Vanessa repeats, "I feel like that could be really beautiful."

She types it into her search bar and absolutely falls in love, except it reminds her of something. 

"We tryna be like fuckin  _ Gryffindor  _ or some shit? Weren't these their colors or somethin?"

Brooke shakes her head, "okay, not gold. How about the other colors I mentioned?"

Vanessa looks up inspiration. Ever since she was a little girl, she knew she wanted to get married in the fall, someplace where the leaves actually turned colors. There was something romantic about it. But Brooke, she never thought she would ever get married, but the second Vanessa mentioned an October wedding, all she could think about was saying  _ I do  _ underneath trees filled with gold, orange, and red. Sure New York had unpredictable weather, but Brooke wanted to give her bride everything.

"What about navy?" Brooke asks.

Vanessa looks up the colors and instantly falls in love. 

"Yes," she breathes, finally content, "burgundy and navy." 

Their wedding party consists of Detox, Nina, Silky, A'keria, Plastique, a girl from Brooke's ballet company, and Kameron, a nurse that Vanessa has become close friends with. Brooke and Vanessa decide against the traditional "maid of honor" route, instead opting for "whoever wants to help plan/make a speech can". They even decided to let the bridesmaids choose which color they wanted to wear. Silky, A'keria and Nina chose burgundy, and Detox, Kameron, and Plastique chose navy. 

Brooke and Vanessa decided that they did want to lean more towards tradition when it came to their dresses, they didn't want the other to see until the big say. 

Vanessa chose a beautiful vintage looking gown with lace accents that reminded her of her abuela's dress. She loved that dress and she loved hearing the story about how her grandfather cried when he saw her come down the aisle. She hoped that Brooke would cry when she saw her. Happy tears of course. 

Brooke wanted a ballgown. Big, and poofy, and sparkly. So that's what she got, and she felt like a princess. 

Wedding prep was coming along nicely. But it wasn't until they sat down and talked about the guest list that they realized just how many people they knew and whether they liked them enough to invite them to the wedding. They didn't want an outrageous party, the bigger the wedding the more expensive. Vanessa's mom was helping the best she could but ultimately this was up to Brooke and Vanessa. Brooke wasn't about to ask her own parents for money again, not after last time. 

"You're inviting them right?" Vanessa asks Brooke as they sat at the dinner table writing out the list. 

"Who?"

"Your parents?"

If she was being honest, Brooke hadn't even told her parents she was getting married. She had not talked to her mom and dad since Vanessa's accident, not even at Christmas. 

"You think I should?"

"Baby, I think you'll regret it if you don't." Vanessa's eyes soften. 

Brooke nods. "Add them to the list then. 

When RSVPs start rolling in, Brooke doesn't expect to get such a quick response from her mom, but it's one of the first ones they receive. 

_ They're coming.  _ She thinks to herself, and a little bit of hope flashes through her heart. Brooke smiled as she stared at the checkmark next to  _ going. _

"What's got you all smiley, Brookie?" Vanessa said, coming out of the bedroom. 

"Mom and dad are coming," Brooke beams, "and they're having the chicken."

Vanessa smiles and kisses her soon-to-be wife on the cheek. 

"That's good, baby, I'm excited for ya."

Vanessa never realized what it took to plan a wedding. She's never felt so overwhelmed. Not before her SATs, not before her first day of college, not before her first round of clinicals, and not even before her boards. Trying to make sure everything was taken care of was tough. Caterers and menu planning, dress fittings and cake tastings, it was a lot. It was a lot and she was tired, she just wanted to snap her fingers and for everything to be done for them.

“Hey, baby,” Brooke greets her, throwing her dance bag on the floor by the front door.

“Hey,” Vanessa mumbles, barely looking up from her laptop.

Brooke skips over to the couch and drapes herself over the back of it to wrap her arms around Vanessa’s shoulders.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Just finalizing everything for the ceremony next week,” Vanessa huffs. 

Brooke giggles softly, “baby, that stuff’s been done for weeks. Relax, enjoy your last few days as a free woman before you’re shackled to me forever.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes affectionately, “I been shackled to you, mami, I ain’t been a free woman since the day we met.”

Brooke presses a kiss to her cheek.

“Me neither.”

“That better be the answer,” Vanessa teases, turning her head to give Brooke a quick peck.

“It is, I swear,” Brooke says with a smile, “now want a distraction?”

Brooke goes in to suck on Vanessa’s neck, earning her a low whine from the girl.

“C’mon B, I’m trying to focus.”

Brooke huffs a breath and climbs over the back of the couch, much to Vanessa’s dismay.

“Focus on me,” she says, sternly. 

Usually her stern tone and dominant presence was enough to make Vanessa crack, to make her weak in the knees. But, still now there was too much on her mind, too much riding on the line. 

“Do you not want our day to be perfect?” Vanessa snaps, making Brooke retract her touch, though it seems like that was the wrong decision when Vanessa’s face falls a bit.

She sighs, leaning her head into Brooke’s shoulder, pressing a kiss to the skin there.

“I’m sorry I snapped, I’m just stressed.”

“I know, baby, I am too,” Brooke admits, a blush on her cheeks. 

Vanessa’s head snaps up, looking directly at her.

“You are? How come you seem cool as all hell?”

Brooke chuckles and toes her shoe on her right foot off and pulls down her sock, revealing her bruised and bandaged foot.

“Been so stressed that I’ve been dancing too hard,” she admits, feeling guilty all of a sudden; because she knows how Vanessa’s always in her ear chirping about not going too hard and taking care of herself.

“Brooke! Seriously?! Elevate it, now,” she demands, her nursing training kicking in.

After wrapping Brooke’s feet properly and elevating them for her, Vanessa sits back down and cuddles into her side.

“When’s the next time you off? You need to stay off them toes.”

Brooke leans into her, “actually about that,” she starts only to be interrupted.

“What? We gotta postpone the wedding now for some show or some shit?”

Brooke laughs, a little nervously, “no, I’m actually off starting tomorrow, because well-“

“Well, what, Mary?”

“Well, you know how I told you my parents were coming to the wedding?”

Vanessa nods her head, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

“My mom called me today and they’re coming tomorrow instead of the day before,” Brooke says, nervously playing with the hem on her shirt.

“Is that a good or a bad thing?”

Brooke ponders for a moment, “I don’t know. I just- I haven’t spoken to them in so long and the last time we spoke they basically told me that I was a disappointment to them. What if they just came to try and bring me down more?”

Vanessa squeezes her hand, not really sure of what to say. Her mom was still her best friend, and she never understood how someone as wonderful as Brooke Lynn was raised by such close minded people. 

“I’m sure it’ll be okay, Brookie. If anything, I’ll throw hands if they try and fuck you up,” Vanessa “jokes”, though Brooke is hardly sure that vanessa  _ wouldn’t  _ actually do that. 

“Thanks, Ness. Now,” she places a hand on Vanessa’s thigh, thumb gently rubbing the smooth skin, “put your laptop away and come to bed with me.”

“Bed? It ain’t even 8 pm, I know we gettin’ married soon but that don’t mean we old!”

Brooke leans in, her warm breath against Vanessa’s ear, “I didn’t say we were sleeping.”

Brooke gets up and saunters over the bedroom, chuckling quietly to herself when she hears Vanessa follow shortly after. 

  
  


The next day is filled with anxiety for Brooke, as soon as she kisses Vanessa and watches her head out the door for work her brain is muddled with thoughts of her parent’s arrival. They were supposed to be getting in by late afternoon and were coming straight to the apartment before they headed to their hotel. Brooke had already felt uneasy when she had offered to pick them up and they declined, opting for a taxi instead. 

She spends the day on her hands and knees, scrubbing the apartment from top to bottom, ensuring they wouldn’t have any more reason for them to be disappointed in her. 

A little past five the front door handle jiggles and Brooke nearly throws up, only to realize it was just Vanessa. Relief floods her chest when she walks in, looking tired in her purple scrubs.

“Hey, Ness. How was work?”

Vanessa shrugs, “tiring, but good. How was your day? It smells like en entire bottle of pine sol in here, so I assumed you cleaned all day?”

Brooke pulls Vanessa in for a hug and kisses the crown of her head.

“Yeah, I cleaned all day.”

Like Vanessa could sense her nervousness, she pulls away from Brooke, only to hold her at arm’s length away.

“Everything will be ok, B. And even if it doesn’t go well with them, you have me and you have my mother, who I think might like you more than me. And even though you haven’t met the rest of my family, I’m sure they’ll adore you too, especially my brother’s, but they’ll probably just be jealous that I snagged someone so hot.”

Vanessa punctuates her last sentence with a trail of kisses up Brooke’s neck.

“Ness, my parents will be here any minute,” she breathes.

“Just gonna loosen you up a bit,” Vanessa rasps.

She’s just about to lean down to unbutton Brooke’s jeans when a knock sounds at the door.

“Dammit,” she mutters, standing tall and pressing a kiss to Brooke’s cheek.

“It’ll be ok, yeah?”

Brooke nods, unsure still.

“Ok, you ready?”

“I guess,” Brooke says, moving to head to the door. With a deep breath and Vanessa squeezing her hip lightly, she opens the door.

“Hi, mom. Hi, dad,” she greets as cheery as possible.

Her mother pulls her in for a stiff hug.

“Hello, Brooke Lynn,” she greets, an almost fake smile on her lips that leaves Brooke’s heart racing.

They all stand there for a moment, her parents being too polite to invite themselves in, and Brooke being too nervous to say anything more. Vanessa’s the one that breaks the silence.

“Please come in, Mr. and Mrs. Hytes,” she says with a smile, leading Brooke to the side so they can come in.

“Thank you, Vanessa,” Brooke’s father says, with a tight lipped smile. 

Brooke helps them bring in their suitcases before they all settle at the kitchen table, Vanessa pouring everyone a glass of wine while she cooks dinner. 

"My goodness, Brooke Lynn." Brooke's mom says, "what smells so good?"

"Oh, that's dinner, I'm making this honey glazed chicken dish I saw online, thought I'd give it a try!" Vanessa explains proudly. 

"Oh." Mrs. Hytes purses her lips, "well it smells..good Vanessa."

The interaction leaves Vanessa feeling strange. Why did things feel so tense? Brooke's parents had always been nice to her before. 

She swallows down the hurt and continues cooking while Brooke and her parents talk at the kitchen table. Vanessa tries to eavesdrop a little but all she catches is boring small talk.

Finally, dinner is done and Vanessa flags down Brooke to help set the table.

“How’s it going, baby?” Vanessa whispers as they plate the chicken.

“I don’t know,” Brooke replies, biting the inside of her cheek, “they’re acting even weirder than usual. I just feel like they’re going to start something.”

Vanessa stands on her tip toes and presses a sweet kiss to Brooke’s cheek.

“You’ll be okay, I promise.”

Brooke sighs, “I know. I just get nervous sometimes.”

Vanessa giggles under her breath, “tell me something I don’t know, baby.”

“You’re insufferable,” Brooke says with a fond smile.

  
  


Dinner goes fine, despite the underlying tension. The conversation is light with no substance. Nothing important is said throughout the entire meal, which is fine, Brooke doesn’t mind. In fact, she's a little relieved her parents haven’t brought up what a disappointment she is yet. 

When everyone’s plate is cleared, Vanessa stands up to clear the table, Brooke following close behind before her father clears his throat.

“Vanessa, would you mind taking the plates to the kitchen so we can speak with Brooke, please?”

Vanessa swallows before nodding and smiling.

“Of course. Honey, you heard your father, let me get everything,” Vanessa says, her eyes soft as she looks at Brooke, making sure she knew that it would be okay.

Brooke forces a smile of her own, “thanks, Ness. I’ll make it up to you.”

As soon as Vanessa’s in the kitchen Brooke’s parents look at her expectantly.

“Brooke Lynn,” her mother starts, her voice softer than she’s ever heard, “you know we only want what’s best for you, right?”

Brooke swallows hard, “mom, if this is about dance, I’m not quitting, I’m not-“

“It’s not about dance. It’s about you getting married.”

Brooke feels some of the tension leave her shoulders, they only wanted to talk about the wedding, that couldn’t be too bad, right? They had rsvp’d to the event, so they must be okay with it.

“What about me getting married?”

“We don’t think you should marry Vanessa,” her mother says, point blank.

“What? How could you say that? You barely even know her?”

“It’s not about  _ her _ per say. Vanessa seems like a wonderful young girl that you could be great friends with.”

“Friends?!” Brooke exclaims, “I don’t want to be her  _ friend _ , I’m in love with her and we’re getting married.”

Brooke’s father glares at her, “there is no need to yell. You’ll upset your mother.”

“Well, she’s the one who just told me I shouldn’t marry Vanessa.”

“You shouldn’t,” he says, laying a hand on his wife’s shoulder.

“And why shouldn’t I?” Brooke spits.

“Wouldn’t you be happier living a normal life? Our friends have a wonderful son about your age that lives here that we could set you up with.”

Brooke’s chest aches with pain, so much for not being a disappointment anymore.

“So that’s what this is, huh? You rsvp to my wedding, just to come here and spit your close minded views at me? I just don’t understand, why now? I came out years ago and I brought Vanessa home for Christmas, why are you acting like it’s a problem all of a sudden?”

“We thought you were going through a phase and we were going to let you go through it, but it’s gone on long enough, we need to intervene now.”

Tears brim over Brooke’s eyes, turning her vision blurry.

“Get out,” she says calmly.

“What? Brooke, honey, we just want what’s best for you, that’s all,” her mother says.

“Mom, dad,” she pauses, looking between the two of them, “do you honestly think that you know what’s best for me?”

“Of course we do, we’re your parents.”

“You’re my parents, who barely know me. You spent my whole childhood trying to make me into something I’m not and now you’re trying to ruin one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I love her, I love her with all my heart and nothing you say or do will change that. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment to you, but I can’t change who I am, and I refuse to hide parts of myself for your sake. I’m going to marry Vanessa and I’m going to continue my career in dance and I no longer care what you think. Now, please leave. I don’t want you here.”

“Brooke, please,” her mother pleads.

“Just go. I don’t want to do this now,” Brooke says, her voice strong despite the fact that tears were running down her cheeks.

Without another word, her parents gather their things and leave.

“Brooke,” Vanessa whispers from behind her.

“You heard all that, didn’t you?”

Vanessa steps closer to Brooke, pulling the taller girl against her.

“I did. I heard everything and I’m so sorry, baby. You deserve so much better.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that, Ness.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry, baby. None of this is your fault. None of it.”

“I just wish I could do better by them, but I can’t change who I am. I can’t. I won’t.”

“Good, don’t. Just because they’re your parents doesn’t mean you have to abide by their every belief. Now, you know I love my mama dearly, but she got some crazy ass beliefs I don’t believe in no more, and she good with it. I love you and all our friends love you, and that’s what matters. We’re your true family, B.”

Vanessa’s words hit Brooke hard, hard enough to make her chest feel all warm and tingly.

“I love you so much, V, so much.”

“I love you too, baby. I’m always here for you, yeah?”

Brooke nods her head and lets Vanessa draw them a bath, where she almost falls asleep multiple times, but she was with her favorite person and that’s all that mattered to her.

The next morning, Vanessa slipped out of bed bright and early, careful not to wake Brooke up. The events of the previous evening weighing heavy on her heart. Brooke. Sweet, loving, caring Brooke. It just wasn't fair that she now wasn't going to have her mother or father with her on her wedding day. It's something most girls dream about. 

Vanessa takes a hot shower before starting on breakfast for her lady. Brooke stirs to the smells of bacon and blueberry pancakes, and she realizes that being married to Vanessa is going to make her very, very fat. Brooke slides out of bed, and grabs a sweatshirt from the dresser. She still wasn't quite used to the chill in the air that came with fall and winter in New York. Not after living in LA for over four years. 

Brooke pads down the hall to the kitchen where Vanessa works, moving around and mixing and cooking. 

"Morning, Ness."

"Morning baby," Vanessa smiles, "coffee?"

"You mean oxygen?" 

Vanessa smirks and rolls her eyes as she pours a cup for Brooke. 

"Smells good in here." Brooke says, sitting down at the kitchen island, "but you're going to make me fat."

"Oh, hush," Vanessa walks over and Brooke turns on the barstool to face her. Vanessa wraps her arms around Brooke's neck, "you'll dance it all off and you'll still look fine as hell." 

Vanessa placed a quick kiss along Brooke's jawline. 

"Baby, I'm not gonna be dancing until after we get back from Aruba, and honestly, if I keep eating bacon and pancakes and every other delicious meal you make, I'm not going to fit in my dress, and I'm going to look like a beached whale."

Vanessa laughs because that is absolutely  _ absurd. _

"You're insane, you know that?" She giggles, but Brooke just rolls her eyes. 

"My concerns are valid. Also, I think you're burning the bacon."

"Fuck!" Vanessa says, rushing back to the stove. 

She had indeed overcooked the bacon a little, but oh well, she was giving her soon-to-be wife attention. Who could blame her? Brooke was hot. 

"You'll still eat it right?" She asks, eyes hopeful, and Brooke nods. 

Vanessa fills the plates and Brooke pours them juice and they head to the dining room to eat.

Breakfast is pleasant, as always, until about halfway through. Brooke hears a knock on the door. 

"The fuck?" Vanessa asks, looking at the clock. It reads 8:10am, "who is knockin on our door at the ass crack of dawn, Mary?"

Brooke can't be sure, but a feeling of dread washes over her. 

"I've got it, Ness. Keep eating." 

Brooke walks towards the front door and looks through the peephole. Her suspicions are confirmed when she sees her parents in the hallway. She sighs, and reluctantly opens the door. She stands there in the doorway, not letting them in. 

"Is there a reason you're here?" Brooke asks, eyebrows raised. 

"We'd like to talk." Mrs. Hytes explains. 

Brooke let's our a sharp laugh, "I think you said enough last night." 

Brooke shuts shut door.

"Brooke Lynn, please, we are sorry!" Mrs. Hytes says from the other side.

Brooke can already feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She doesn't like the thought of getting married without them, but she doesn't want them to think that what they said was okay.

"Babe?" Vanessa says, coming into the entryway behind her, "who's there?"

"Mom and dad." 

"Are you going to let them in?"

"Should I?"

"I think so, baby. Just to clear the air." Brooke has never heard Vanessa's voice so soft.

Brooke nods and she opens the door again. 

"You have ten minutes." she says, stepping aside and letting her parents in. 

"I'll be in the bedroom if you need me." Vanessa says, Brooke nods, and Vanessa starts to walk away.

Brooke stood in the entryway facing her parents, her mom reached out to her, trying to hold her hand or something, but Brooke can't, she just can't do it right now. She takes a step back, and her mom looks down. Brooke guides them to the living room where they sit on the couch and she sits in the recliner. 

"Brooke Lynn," her mom starts, "we realize that we came across a little …. Insensitive yesterday."

Brooke snorts out a laugh. "Insensitive? You made me sit there and listen to you berate the woman I'm about to marry and then basically make me feel like the worst daughter in the world. I think you can find a stronger word than  _ insensitive _ mother." 

"We know what we said hurt you. Vanessa is a lovely girl."

"Vanessa is amazing, and she heard every word said last night. But yet she insisted that we still invite you into our home." Brooke feels her anger growing again, feels tears fill her eyes, "Vanessa is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I've never loved someone so much. She's a phenomenal woman who has been through a lot and has been dealing with the stress of planning our wedding, but she has been taking it like a champ. She is incredible and she didn't deserve to hear you diminish her last night. You can say what you want about me, to me, near me, whatever. You can judge my career and my life choices, but you don't come into my home and say the things you said." The words spilled from her mouth like vomit, and the tears fell. 

Her parents shifted uncomfortably. 

"Brooke," her dad starts, "we are here to apologize and make things right. We had a long talk last night after we left here. We have never seen you so happy. If marrying Vanessa is what your heart wants, then we will support you."

Brooke can't believe her ears. 

"We love you, Brooke, and we would love the chance to know and love Vanessa. Please, we would still love to come to the wedding, if you'll have us." 

Brooke, for a moment, waits for the punchline, because this must be a joke. Her parents are many things but apologetic and supportive they are not.

"I know that you're hurt, I know that we probably don't deserve for you to accept our apology, but we really are sorry and we would very much like it if Vanessa came out here so we could apologize to her as well." Mrs. Hytes says after a short silence. 

Brooke nods, unable to find her words at the moment, and she walks towards the bedroom.

"Baby?" She said softly, opening the door.

Vanessa lays curled up on Brooke's side of the bed scrolling through her phone.

"Hmm?" She hums, looking up, "fight over already?" 

"No, will you come back out there with me?" Brooke asks. 

Vanessa nods and slips out of bed, holding her hand out for Brooke's. She knows Brooke needs the added comfort right now. Brooke leads Vanessa to the living room where she sits perched on the arm of the recliner next to Brooke. 

"Hi Vanessa," Mrs. Hytes says, with a smile, and Vanessa thinks it looks genuine this time because it reaches her eyes. 

"Good morning," Vanessa says sweetly. 

"Vanessa, we would like to apologize for the things we said last night. We know you heard us and we know that it hurt you." Mr. Hytes explains. 

Vanessa nods along.

"We don't expect complete forgiveness, but we would like to try to get to know you better, Vanessa, and Brooke if you have any shows while we are here we would like to come." 

Brooke's mom sounds hopeful, and Brooke can feel her heart lighten a bit. 

"I'm actually off until after we come back from the honeymoon but I think we can work something out in the future,” Brooke says softly. 

Mr. and Mrs. Hytes nod and Brooke looks at Vanessa, seemingly understanding one other. 

"I hope you understand how much you’ve hurt me, though. I want to forgive you completely but it’s going to take some time.”

Her parents nod. “We understand, Brooke. We’re so sorry,” her father says, a hand on her shoulder.

“And we’d love if you would still have us at the ceremony,” her mother adds.

Brooke bites her lip, “I’d like that,” she decides.

Her mother pulls her in for a light hug, still testing out their boundaries.

“Thank you, Brooke,” she whispers, before looking over Brooke’s shoulder at Vanessa, “and thank you too, Vanessa.”

The big day rolled around, and with it, came butterflies for Brooke and Vanessa. 

Vanessa sat in front of the vanity mirror while her hair was tugged and curled, and her makeup was done perfectly, but really, her mind was down the hall with a certain blonde who she knew was overly anxious. What can she say? She knows her girl.

Vanessa sits, deep in thought about what is to come. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" Her mom says, sitting down next to her, Vanessa smiles. 

"I'm very happy, mama." She says. 

"I know, mija, I can see it in your face. Your beautiful, beautiful face."

Vanessa blushes at the compliment. She doesn't just  _ look  _ beautiful today, no, she  _ feels  _ beautiful today. More beautiful than she has ever felt. 

"I can't wait for you to see my dress, mama."

"I can't believe you're keeping it a secret from me." 

Vanessa shrugs, a sly smirk on her face. She wanted to surprise her mom with the dress from the moment she chose it.

"Are your vows ready?"

"They took me a month, I sure hope they're ready." Vanessa laughs. 

That's what Vanessa was most worried about. She wasn't good with words, especially in front of people. 

"Just speak from your heart, mija." Alexis kissed the top of Vanessa's head, careful not to upset her hairdo, and Vanessa nodded.

Down the hall, with less than an hour to go until the ceremony, and the help of Detox, Nina, and Plastique, Brooke was zipped into her dress. They were the only ones who had seen it and she couldn't wait for reactions, especially Vanessa's. Brooke stepped out of the room she was using as a dressing room into a larger sitting room where her parents waited. Both of them instantly teared up.

"Brooke, you look absolutely stunning,” her mother whispers, in awe.

_ Of course I do.  _ Brooke wanted to say, but she settled for a blushing "thank you" instead. She hugged her parents. They were still slightly stiff, but warming up, so Brooke was happy. All that she could ask for at this point was that they tried, and they seemed like they were.

Vanessa was right when she said her mother would cry. Alexis couldn't help it. Here stood her only daughter, on her wedding day, in a gown that resembled her own mothers that she admired as a little girl. So what if she looked like a blubbering idiot? She was allowed. 

The air was comfortable, not too chilly, but not hot. The leaves in the park around them were painting the backdrop with yellows and reds. 

Brooke and Mr. Hytes walked down the aisle first. She felt butterflies in her stomach. This was really happening. 

When Brooke saw Vanessa walking towards her, it was like all of the air had been knocked out of her. Vanessa looked like an absolute princess. The white lace simply glowing on her honey-colored skin. Brooke fell a little bit more in love if that was even possible. Tears welled up in her eyes at the sight of her beautiful girl. Vanessa caught her eye and blew her a kiss. Brooke grinned and blew one back. 

In Brooke’s opinion, it takes Vanessa entirely too long to get to her, but when she does it’s so worth it. Up close she’s even more beautiful as her eyes sparkle. Ms. Mateo gently places her daughter’s hands in Brooke’s and whispers something in Spanish and kisses Vanessa’s cheek before she heads to her seat in the front row. 

“You look beautiful,” Brooke whispers.

“You look,” Vanessa pauses and takes a breath, “wow.”

Now that they’ve had a moment to take in each other’s beauty the minister clears his throat.

“Dearly beloved, we’ve gathered here today to witness the union between Brooke Lynn and Vanessa in holy matrimony. May everyone please be seated and we will

begin.” 

Once the last few stragglers find their seats the music starts up again, this time softer and quieter so voices can be heard above it.

“Brooke Lynn and Vanessa, on your journey together, keep your spouse in the space of the highest priority in your heart. The love that you share must be guarded and cherished forever, for it is your most valuable treasure. Always remember these words; Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

The minister takes another pause, letting his words soak in before beginning again.

“The couple has prepared their own vows. Brooke Lynn, you may begin.”

Brooke unfolds the piece of lined notebook paper with shaking hands and a deep breath before she starts.

“Nessa, meeting you changed me for the better. You make me want to be my best, and you made me dream up a different future for myself,” she pauses to wipe her own tears and then Vanessa’s with a gentle thumb, 

“I remember once how I told you I never believed in soulmates until I met you. I couldn't believe my ears when you, a hopeless romantic, said that you didn't either until you met me. I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you. I love you and I vow to love you for the rest of our lives.”

By the time Brooke breathes out the last word, there’s not a dry eye in the house, and Vanessa hadn’t even gone yet, though, hopefully, hers would be as funny and lighthearted as she is.

“That was lovely, Brooke Lynn. Vanessa, you may now begin.”

With hands that were just as shaky as Brooke’s, Vanessa opens her own paper.

“Brooke Lynn,” she breathes, her voice catching on the last syllable, “you know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow you still manage to love me. You are my best friend and the person I love the most. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I'm the one who gets to marry you. I join my life with yours. Wherever you go, I will go. Whatever you face, I will face. With that being said, get used to this because you're stuck with me forever.”

Vanessa just about yells the last part, making Brooke and their families erupt in laughter.

“I love you, Brooke, and I'll love you for the rest of my life, and that's a promise,” she says quietly in comparison to before, but this part is for Brooke, she doesn’t care if no one else heard, as long as Brooke did. 

“Thank you ladies, now for the rings.”

Vanessa’s youngest cousin comes over, dressed in a tiny little navy suit with their rings on a small pillow. 

Vanessa ruffles his hair and says something in Spanish that makes his face light up with a wide smile as he hands each girl a ring. They had chosen simple, yet elegant wedding bands, gold to match Vanessa’s engagement ring. The band was plain gold, with tiny diamonds in its facet and their initials engraved on the inside. 

“Now,” the minister begins, “these rings you are about to place on each other's fingers are symbols of the love you expressed. They will remind you of the vows you have just spoken, and of the eternal love that you have for one another. Brooke Lynn, place the ring on Vanessa’s finger.”

Brooke takes the ring in her hand, kissing the cold metal for good measure and slips it on Vanessa’s left ring finger.

“Now Vanessa, place the ring on Brooke Lynn’s finger.”

Vanessa does the same, kissing the ring to warm it up before slipping it onto Brooke’s left hand. 

Neither of them can wipe the smiles from their faces at this point. 

“Brooke Lynn, do you take Vanessa to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health?”

“I do,” Brooke replies.

“Vanessa, do you take Brooke Lynn to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health?”

"I do,” Vanessa says, a stray tear escaping the corner of her eye. 

“By the power given to me by New York State, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss.”

Brooke is quick to take Vanessa’s face in her hands and press her lips to hers. It’s like right then and there, the world stops and stands still and all of a sudden it’s just them and the only thing that matters is them and their love for each other. 

Though they’d like to stay there and kiss forever, there are still other things to get to. When they pull apart their friends and families erupt in loud cheers.

“Ladies and gentlemen, for the very first time I give you Mrs. and Mrs. Mateo-Hytes!”

The rest of the night goes by in a whirlwind of dancing, drinking, heartfelt speeches, and plenty of stolen kisses between the two newlyweds. By the time the night ends both girls are tired, tipsy, and have a long flight to look forward to.

Their families form a pathway for them as they make their way to the limo that would take them to the airport. Rice rains down on them and they kiss under it, Vanessa giggling as it gets stuck in their hair. 

Vanessa’s mom and Brooke’s parents stand at the end of the pathway.

“Ahh, Mija, I’m so happy for you,” Alexis whispers into Vanessa’s hair before pressing a kiss to the top of her head, just like when she was little.

“Thanks, mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, Nessie. And Brooke, you take care of my baby girl, you hear?”

Brooke smiles and salutes her new mother-in-law.

Brooke’s father interrupts the moment with an awkward cough, his daughter turning to face him. He smiles awkwardly and Brooke closes the distance between them, burying herself in her dad’s arms, just like when she was little. 

“We’re proud of you, Brooke. Have a good trip and stay safe,” he says, patting his daughter’s back.

“Thanks, dad. And mom, thank you too.”

Mrs. Hytes smiles at her newlywed daughter, for the first time being able to see Brooke truly happy. Guilt stabs in her chest but is replaced with a newfound love and appreciation for her only daughter.

“We love you, Brooke. And we’re sorry for everything.”

Brooke pulls her mother in for a hug, “it’s okay, mom. You’re here now and that’s what matters.”

Mrs. Hytes wipes tears from her eyes as she pulls away.

“Okay,” she sniffles, “you better go now before you miss your flight. Stay safe, okay?”

“I will,” she promises, pressing a kiss to both her father and her mother’s cheeks.

Brooke turns back around to face Vanessa, who’s smiling at her with so much love in her eyes that it could make someone sick.

“You ready?”

Brooke nods and reaches for Vanessa’s hand.

“Ready,” Brooke replies. 

She  _ was  _ ready. Ready to go and ready to begin the rest of their lives. They were both ready for that and the kiss that they shared in the backseat of the rented limo said just that.


	11. Kissing you is nice, but the rest of you is paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our newlyweds spend their honeymoon in paradise.

Brooke and Vanessa rushed through the door of their apartment the moment they got back from the wedding, eager to make surs they had everything ready honeymoon. 

"Babe, you got everything?" Brooke calls from the bathroom, where she was diligent in packing all their toiletries for the next two weeks. 

"Yes, dear,” Vanessa mocked, poking her head in the door. 

"Did you pack enough clothes?"

"If by 'enough clothes' you mean 25 swimsuits and just as many sets of lingerie then, yes, I sure did, mami." Vanessa winked. 

Brooke rolls her eyes affectionately. Of course she would only bring clothes for the beach and sex. 

"And what if I want to take you out somewhere fancy?"

"Looks like I'm wearing crotchless panties." Vanessa shrugs. 

"Looks like you're wearing a burlap sack." Brooke retorts. 

Vanessa giggles at Brooke's frustration, "I packed a few dresses and some lounge clothes too, baby, I'm just playing."

Teasing Brooke was one of Vanessa's favorite things to do, and now she gets to do it for the rest of her life.

Vanessa worried about Brooke and the flight. It was her first flight overseas and Vanessa knew her wife would be nervous. In preparation, Vanessa downloaded a playlist of calming music for her, even titling it with something she knew would make Brooke smile.

Brooke was quiet the whole cab ride to the airport. She had anxiety in her chest about the flight even though she knew, deep down, that everything would be okay.

They checked in and headed to their gate, they were still kind of early. Brooke couldn't focus. She was so nervous for the flight. 

_ What if the plane crashed? _

That was always her biggest fear. 

_ What if the plane crashes over the water? _

That was a new, and now very real fear. 

"Baby," Vanessa says, pulling Brooke from her thoughts, "stop worrying, you'll give yourself grey hairs."

"No, those are going to be from you,” Brooke joked, while Vanessa had a look of mock offense on her face, even though she knew Brooke was probably right. 

Vanessa intertwines her fingers with Brooke's, and gives her hand a squeeze, calmness instantly spreading through the blonde’s tense body. 

They're called to board and they find their seats, and her anxiety spikes yet again.Vanessa's hand never leaves hers though. It helped. It was grounding. Vanessa put the playlist on for Brooke, and Brooke took her xanax and soon she was lulled off into a relaxing sleep. 

Vanessa, however, always enjoyed flying and was having so much fun looking out the window at the waters below them. Little glances back at Brooke warmed her heart. She looked so relaxed, and it made Vanessa feel better. She would sneak little pictures of Brooke, even though she is sure that she would be mad, but Vanessa didn't care. She wanted to remember  _ everything  _ about this trip. 

Landing was a little rocky, and it bumped Brooke awake abruptly before Vanessa had a chance to gently try to wake her. It startled Brooke but also she was happy to be back on the ground. 

_ Paradise.  _

Going through baggage claim and calling the taxi seemed to blur on by and soon enough they found themselves checking into the hotel. Vanessa couldn't wait to get the door unlocked and take a hot bath with her wife. As soon as the lock clicked, Brooke leaned over and swooped Vanessa up, bridal style, making her squeal. 

"What are you doing?" She yells, through a fit of laughter. 

"Carrying you over the threshold, of course,” Brooke says, as though it was obvious. 

"What if I wanted to carry you?"

Brooke looks at Vanessa with an eyebrow raised, "you think you could lift me?"

Vanessa opens her mouth to retaliate, but then closed it, realizing that Brooke has a point. 

Brooke carries her bride to the middle of the room and kisses her deeply before gently placing her back on her feet. Vanessa whines at the loss of contact, and Brooke chuckles as she crosses the room to get their bags from the hall and shut the door. 

Vanessa explores the room a little while Brooke gets the bags. Its bright and open, with a sitting area and a kitchenette. The bed is big but Vanessa knows that they don't need all that room. They sleep as close to each other as possible, usually. On the other side of the room there are double doors leading out to a private balcony, and a perfect view of the beach and ocean. 

"I never want to leave," Vanessa says, awestruck. 

"Sorry, Ness. We have to eventually. You got babies to deliver and I have dancing to do." Brooke walked up behind Vanessa, wrapping her arms around the smaller girls waist, "but for now, Mrs. Mateo-Hytes, we get to enjoy it."

"Mrs. Mateo-Hytes," Vanessa repeats, "that's me."

"And me, silly girl." Brooke laughs and presses a kiss to Vanessa's temple, "c'mon, we got a nice bathtub and I want to use it." 

Brooke takes Vanessa by the hand and guides her to the bathroom and starts to fill the bath. 

  


___

  


"Brooke?" Vanessa whispers, unsure if her wife is even awake. 

They laid in bed, the clock read 1:08am, Vanessa's head resting on Brooke's chest. Brooke's breathing was even, so she was either deep in thought or fast asleep. 

"Brookie?" Vanessa whispers again. 

"Hm?" Brooke says, voice thick with needed sleep.

It was the second day of their honeymoon and they had done so, so much already. 

"Did I wake you?" 

"Hm..not really." That's a lie, but Vanessa doesn't need to know that, "what's up, Ness?" 

"I was just-" she hesitates, "thinking. That's all."

"I'm proud of you." Brooke smirked, earning a light swat to her stomach.

"Bitch." Vanessa laughs, "fine then, I ain't gonna say nothin."

"Ness, what's on your mind?" Brooke asks softly,pressing a soft kiss to the top of Vanessa's head, an added measure to make her feel safe. 

"A thought crossed my mind, and I realized we never  _ really  _ discussed it." 

“Okay,” Brooke says, hesitantly, her heart rate spiking.

Vanessa takes shaky breath, "Brooke, you wanna have babies someday right?"

Brooke froze, because yes they  _ should  _ have talked about this before, but also because is that what she wants? Brooke never really gave much thought to whether she would have a family with little ones someday, but she also never thought she would get married, and here she is.

Brooke is deep in thought and Vanessa starts to panic a little bit. She knows that its poor timing but the thought popped into her head and she couldn't go to sleep without asking. Vanessa did want kids. Vanessa loved kids. That's why she chose the department she did for work. 

"Brooke?" Vanessa lifts her head to look at her wife, who's eyebrows were furrowed, and looked like she was deep in thought. 

"Sorry, that caught me off guard, not gonna lie."

Vanessa nods. 

"If I'm being honest, I never gave much thought to it, never pictured myself as a mom. But I also never thought I'd get married and then you danced into my life. You're right though we should've talked about this sooner, but it's okay."

Brooke thinks for a minute, thinks about her future with her wife. Babies. Would they adopt? Or would they get a donor and carry themselves? Were there other options? Brooke pictures a little blonde with curls and blue eyes like hers, pictures a little mini Vanessa, with her honey colored skin, dark hair, and sweet, sweet doe eyes. Suddenly, Brooke realizes that this is exactly what she wants. 

“It’s a lot to think about, but I do want kids someday,” she breathes, and Vanessa feels a rush of relief wash over her. “I never thought I'd have kids but if I were to have kiddos with anyone, it’d be with you.” 

Vanessa squeals and leans up to kiss Brooke, who smiles against her lips. 

"I love you," Vanessa says softly.

"I love you too." Brooke smiles. 

  


_______

  
  


The next day Brooke woke Vanessa up with a trail of soft kisses down her neck and promises of more to come if she’d get out of bed. 

Vanessa smiles softly, burying her face in Brooke’s bare shoulder.

“Can’t we just stay in bed all day?”

“Uh-uh, we can stay in bed all day at home, I’ve got some fun plans for us today,” she says with a smirk. 

“And would those plans happen to have anything to do with me gettin’ up close and personal with your gorgeous ass?” Vanessa purrs, stealing a kiss.

“Actually, yes. A few miles from town there’s this beach, um, and it’s a nude beach and I was wondering if maybe yo-”

Vanessa interrupts with a loud yelp, “bitch, yes!”

Brooke sits back and watches with amusement as Vanessa jumps from the bed and yanks the skimpy red negligee from her body and tosses it somewhere across the room, leaving her completely naked.

“Well, what are you waitin’ for, blondie? Get ya hot ass up and get naked.”

Brooke rolls her eyes and gets up, wrapping her arms around Vanessa’s middle and kissing her shoulder.

“You still gotta wear clothes on the way there, though. I’m not gettin’ my Uber score lowered cuz you can’t be bothered to wait til we get there.” 

“Whatever, I’ll wait, but as soon as we get there it’s all comin’ off, mamas.”

Brooke chuckles and leans down to whisper in Vanessa’s ear, “since when are you so willing to show off, hmm?”

“It’s always fun to tease a little,” she retorts, pressing her ass against Brooke’s front.

“Well, two can play at that game,” Brooke says, pushing herself away from Vanessa, making the shorter girl whine at the lack of touch, “c’mon Ness, there will be plenty of time for touching later. Just get ready, yeah?”

Vanessa huffs indignantly when Brooke walks away from her completely and disappears into the bathroom, only to reappear moments later dresses only in a short black coverup dress with her hair tied back in a high ponytail. Without even saying anything Brooke tosses a bundle of fabric to her.

“What’s this?” Vanessa wonders aloud, unfolding the fabric, revealing the same coverup Brooke wears but in a cherry red color.

“You bought us matching outfits?”

“Not really outfits, don’t you think?”   
“Well, still. Are we one of those annoying couples who match each other now?”

“Annoying?” Brooke pouts, adorably so, “I guess you don’t wanna wear the matching sunglasses I got us either. Or the matching sun hats.”

Vanessa throws her head back in laughter, “of course I wanna wear them, bitch! You know I live for that annoying couple shit. If i’mma be annoying, i’mma be annoying with you.”

Brooke rolls her eyes affectionately, “well, get your annoying ass dressed so we can go.”

Vanessa quickly scrambles about the room, slipping on her little dress, and shoving things in their tote bag that they’d need for the day.

By the time she’s finally got everything and is ready to go, Brooke’s been waiting for ten minutes.

“Do you finally have everything, Ness?”

Vanessa does a quick scan of the room. “I think so. Oh wait!” she runs over to the dresser on the other side of the room and picks up the bottle of sunscreen. “We can’t forget this for your white ass! Literally, though, we’ll need to put some on that pasty ass of yours.”

Brooke shakes her head, “you love my ass, though. Even if it is pasty.”

“Hey, I ain’t never said I didn’t. Just said that it was pasty.”

Vanessa lightly pinches her ass, making Brooke yelp in surprise.

“You’re such a little shit,” she says, though her tone suggests nothing but affection, “but for real, let’s go. The car will be here in less than five minutes.”

  


They pull up to the beach half an hour later, after thanking the driver, they get out and set out to find a spot closer to the water.

Once they find a spot close to the water, like Vanessa likes, but far enough away so that all of Brooke’s books she likes to bring don’t get ruined, they set up lounge chairs and towels and get comfy, though neither of them had ventured into the idea of getting nude just yet.

Not until Brooke’s eyes linger a little too long at some other girl and Vanessa wants to show her what she’s got right next to her. Which is why, without a word Vanessa tosses the red coverup over to the side, along with her bikini top, leaving her nude save for her thong bikini bottoms. 

“Brookie,” she purrs, sweetly, “come rub some lotion on my back, yeah?”

Brooke smirks, her expression hid behind her oversized sunglasses, she had Vanessa right where she wanted her. She hadn’t even been looking at that girl that walked past them, it was all in her plans to rile Vanessa up, and it seemed to have worked. 

“Of course, baby, “ Brooke replies, climbing over Vanessa and sitting on her bottom, her hands trailing up the smaller woman’s back.

She squirts the tanning lotion onto her palms and massages it into Vanessa’s back, her thumbs pressing lightly into her skin, making Vanessa moan softly enough so that only Brooke can hear.

Brooke chuckles and leans down to press kisses to the back of Vanessa’s neck before going in to whisper in her ear.

“You’re such a little tease, you know that?”

Vanessa scoffs underneath her, “you the one lookin’ elsewhere when you got me right here, Mami.”

“Please, you know I only have eyes for you. I was just trying to rile you up, baby.”

Brooke bites her earlobe slightly, making Vanessa’s head spin. 

“Let’s go back to the hotel,” Vanessa suggests, her breathing already erratic.

“Oh, come on, baby girl, we’ve barely been here an hour and it’s so nice out today. I think we should really make the most of it, don’t you think?”

Vanessa groans when Brooke gets up and lays down on her own towel, breaking their touch.

“Besides, I haven’t even gotten naked yet,” Brooke says with a wink, her nimble fingers toying with the hem of her dress.

“B, come on,” Vanessa pleads, “don’t do this to me.”

“I’m not doing anything, Nessa, just enjoying our day at the beach.”

Brooke winks coyly at her as she shimmies out of her dress, revealing that she wasn’t even wearing a bikini top, only skimpy bottoms that might as well not even be there at all. 

Vanessa groans and hides her face in her arms.

“This is gonna be a long ass day,” she mumbles.

Brooke lightly swats her ass. “quit complaining and enjoy the view,” she says, though Vanessa’s more impressed with the view Brooke’s giving her, rather than the sparkling blue ocean in front of them. 

The next few hours do nothing to calm the fire that Brooke had purposefully started in Vanessa’s chest. Vanessa had stayed behind while Brooke had pranced off for a quick dip in the water, only to come back with her gorgeous body sparkling with water droplets, marking everywhere Vanessa wanted to lick and kiss. Maybe she stares a little too long at one particular drop of water that travels right in between Brooke’s breasts. And Brooke knows exactly what she’s doing, knows exactly the kind of effect she has on her wife. She was anything but coy but still smiled and acted innocent everytime Vanessa even looked at her for too long. 

It wasn’t until a man, selling popsicles from a cooler attached to the back of a bicycle rides past them that Vanessa gets the idea for revenge. She quickly flags him down and buys herself a sweet cherry popsicle.

After thanking the man and paying him, he rides away and the two are left alone again. 

Vanessa makes a show of everything leading up to her wrapping her lips around the sweet treat. She slowly unwraps it and licks down the side, catching the droplets that have melted before they had the chance to fall onto her hand. Then, she wraps her lips around the tip and sucks gently, moaning as the sugary goodness meets her tastebuds. Her cheeks hollow around it as she takes it a little deeper, ignoring Brooke’s intense gaze. Little droplets of red juice dribble from her lips and onto her chin, her ruby stained tongue darting out to catch them before they fall any further.

“Mm fuck, this is so good,” she moans, using her most innocent voice to send Brooke more and more over the edge. 

After a moment, Vanessa starts to think Brooke isn’t as affected as she wants her to be, so she steps it up a notch, her eyes looking up at Brooke innocently while she sucks on her popsicle filthily. Brooke’s breath hitches in her throat and as if her body is on autopilot she takes the popsicle from Vanessa’s hand and tosses it in the trash can to her right.

“Hey! I was eating that,” Vanessa whines, her lips forming a cute pout.

“Shut up,” Brooke practically growls, “get your stuff. We’re leaving.”

Vanessa smirks triumphantly, finally getting what she had been out to get all day sure felt good. 

Both Brooke and Vanessa hurry to pack up their things and hail the first taxi they see. The fifteen minutes from the beach to their hotel are damn near torturous for Vanessa. Brooke keeps Vanessa grounded the whole way with a firm hand on her thigh, her nails digging slightly into her soft skin when she begins to squirm in her seat. When they finally pull up in front of the hotel, Brooke politely thanks the driver and then drags Vanessa to the elevator by her wrist, earning her pointed stares from hotel employees and guests alike. 

Vanessa had thought that once they were alone in the elevator that Brooke would turn her full attention to her, but she didn’t. She wordlessly pushed the button for the fifth floor and let the tension build and build in the tiny space. Even though the elevator ride is less than two minutes, it feels like a lifetime for poor Vanessa. She almost cries with relief when they’re finally on their floor and Brooke’s back to grabbing her arm and yanking her towards their room.

Brooke doesn’t waste even a second, as soon as she unlocks the door to their room, she throws her bags to the side and has Vanessa right where she wants her, backed up against the door and boxed in by her height.

“You think you’re so cute, don’t you?” Brooke coos, her sweetest voice reserved for when Vanessa was doing her worst.

As much as Vanessa could’ve been able to fall right into the palm of Brooke’s hand right at that moment, there was still so much fun to be had; so she opts for stealing a quick kiss and giggling sweetly.

“I  _ know  _ I’m cute,” she retorts, her eyes wide with mischief.

“You  _ are  _ pretty cute, but that still doesn’t mean you get to be a brat, baby.”

Vanessa pouts childishly. “Not a brat,” she mumbles.

Brooke strokes her hair, tucking a piece behind her ear. “Of course not, angel, at least not  _ all _ the time. But today, I would say you were kind of a brat, don’t you think?”

“You started it,” Vanessa whines, defiantly.

Brooke’s eyes turn dark and before Vanessa even has a second to protest, she’s being lifted off the ground and tossed onto the bed, a surprised gasp leaving her mouth.

“If I can recall correctly, you started it, but I’m gonna finish it,” Brooke rasps as she crawls over Vanessa, a knee on either side of her hips.

Between Brooke’s heavy petting and her wandering hands all over Vanessa’s body, she has no choice but to fall victim to Brooke; letting herself settle into the headspace that tells her Brooke is in charge. 

“ _ Brooke _ ,” Vanessa whimpers, finally letting herself fall.

“That’s it, be good for me, yeah?” 

Vanessa nods slightly, too far gone to do anything else. Brooke places a knee in between Vanessa’s parted legs, right below where Vanessa wanted her touch the most. Vanessa squirms lower to press herself against Brooke’s knee in a desperate attempt to get more pressure. She whines pitifully when Brooke pulls back, clicking her tongue in disapproval.

“I thought you said you were gonna be good for me?”

“I-I  _ need _ you,” Vanessa whimpers, gasping when Brooke pins her wandering hands above her head.

“I know you do, sweetheart, believe me.  _ But,  _ you were so naughty today. I really don’t wanna punish you but I will if I have to. Do you understand?”

Vanessa sucks in a breath but nods nonetheless.

“I understand.”

“Good. Now, where were we?”

Brooke releases one of her wrists and uses her free hand to stroke Vanessa’s cheek softly.

“My sweet, beautiful girl. Tell me what you need.”

Vanessa’s cheeks burn with embarrassment at the thought of admitting what she’d been thinking about all day. It wasn’t often they played around with power dynamics, and it still brought nerves to Vanessa when Brooke asked her to speak up. There was something about when she dropped into subspace that brought on an air of shyness. Usually, she was loud and confident in what she wanted, but when Brooke looked at her like that and spoke to her like that, she wanted nothing more than to shrink in on herself and let Brooke call all the shots. But still, nothing also brought her more excitement than the fact that Brooke wanted to please her and give her whatever she wanted, even if it took a spanking or two to get there. 

Brooke revels in Vanessa’s silence, taking the extra time to stroke her gently.

“Tell me,” she coaxes sternly, her thumb and forefinger grasping Vanessa’s chin while the other hand cards through her hair gently. 

“I just need you.”

Brooke rolls her eyes. “How am I supposed to know what you need if you can’t tell me?”

Vanessa’s cheeks burn, her eyes avoiding Brooke’s at all cost as she mumbles too quietly.

“Speak up.”

“Y-your strap,  _ please.” _

Brooke rewards her with a sweet kiss on the forehead. “See, that wasn’t that hard, was it, angel?”

Vanessa shakes her head, relief falling over her. 

“Good, now you wait here for me. Undress, but don’t touch, got it?”

Vanessa nods and mumbles out a quiet agreement as Brooke peels herself away and disappears into the next room. While Vanessa knew Brooke would probably take her sweet time, trying to draw everything out, she still made quick work of shedding what clothing she had left and tossing it somewhere across the room, not that she really cared in that moment; not when Brooke was standing in the doorway looking at her like  _ that.  _ Not when she was standing in the doorway naked, except for Vanessa’s favorite strap and harness slung low on her hips.

“You like what you see?” 

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “Get over here, Mami.”

Brooke obliges but it doesn’t stop her from grabbing Vanessa’s wrists and pinning them above her head once again.

“Don’t forget who’s in charge.”

The smaller girl sucks in a breath and nods.

“Good girl,” Brooke praises, pressing a kiss to her lips.

Vanessa preens at the praise, leaning into Brooke’s touches and whining every time she pulls away.

Brooke chuckles, “so needy for me.”

Vanessa cries out when Brooke reaches down and cups in between her legs, gently massaging her labia.

“My, my, darling, you’re already so wet. You’re so cute, baby, just the cutest little thing.”

The way Vanessa moans must encourage Brooke because she teases a finger at her entrance gently; gathering wetness before pushing inside her. Vanessa arches her back and rocks back onto Brooke’s finger.

“You’re so wet, baby, it feels like I don’t even need to prep you. Do you think you’re ready for my cock, sweetheart? You think you could take it like this, hmm?”

“Yes!” She cries out when Brooke pushes another finger inside her, hooking her fingers slightly, just the way Vanessa likes it. As fast as she’d entered, she removes her fingers; quickly replacing them with the head of her strap, the tip teasing at her hole. 

“Please, please,” Vanessa whines, her voice going up an octave. With no preamble, Brooke thrusts all the way inside her. The length of the toy fills her up, making her toes curl in the process. Brooke begins pumping in and out of her at a steady pace, whispering sweet words into her ear. When Vanessa’s moans get a little higher, Brooke kicks up the pace. Her hips move fluidly as she thrusts in and out of Vanessa, making her babble nonsense pleas. 

Brooke can tell she’s getting close. Her back is arched beautifully as she grips the sheets beneath her. Brooke can feel her clenching around the toy inside her.

“My sweet baby, do you think you deserve to come?”

Vanessa’s breath hitches in her throat as she nods, barely able to mumble out a simple ‘yes’.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. Good girls use their words and don’t act like such a little tease all day. Show me you can be good and you can come.”

The whine that rips from Vanessa’s throat is pitiful as she tries to find her words.

“ _ Mami,” _ she whimpers.

“Uh-uh kitten, use your words. Tell me how bad you need to come.”

The feeling and need to come builds and builds in Vanessa’s abdomen, the fire burning deep within her. It all becomes too much to handle, between Brooke’s hands roaming over her body while she thrusts into her deeply, pulling her apart piece by piece, and the sweet encouragements she’s whispering into Vanessa’s ear; making warm and dirty delight curl in her tummy. 

After one particularly deep thrust the words come spilling from Vanessa’s kiss bitten lips.

_ “Mami! Please let me come! Please, I need it so bad, I need it, please,”  _ she yells.

Brooke holds out for a minute, loving how Vanessa falls apart underneath her, the smaller girl’s brow knitted in an effort not to let go right then and there. Vanessa’s cries get louder and louder when Brooke finally gives her the green light.

“Come for me, angel, go ahead and come for me.”

Vanessa lets go as soon as she’s allowed, coming with a harsh cry and a deep shudder. Brooke gently fucks her through it, pulling out when she whines from over sensitivity. She slides the harness off her hips and curls around Vanessa’s still body, stroking her hair lovingly.

“Thank you for being so good for me, angel.”

“No, thank  _ you _ , Brookie,” she replies, sleepily nuzzling underneath Brooke’s chin. Brooke chuckles and presses a sweet kiss to the other girl’s sweat-dampened forehead.

“Rest a bit and lets get in the shower, yeah?” Brooke suggests, speaking into Vanessa’s hair.

Vanessa groans. “Can’t we just stay in bed all day and play around,” she says, looking up at Brooke through her lashes.

“As tempting as that sounds, baby, we have dinner reservations tonight.”

Vanessa smiles brightly, her chest blooming with affection.

“I never want this to end.”

Brooke chuckles and ruffles her hair, “me neither, baby. Why don’t we have a little fun in the shower too? it’ll draw everything out nicely. ”

Vanessa rockets up so fast she nearly headbutts Brooke in the process.

“You ain’t gotta tell me twice,” she cheers, bounding the the bathroom, Brooke following close behind with an amused smirk on her face.

“You’re literally like a teenage boy,” she remarks.

Vanessa playfully smacks her ass, “this our honeymoon, Mami, we gotta make the most of it.”

Brooke laughs, then pulls Vanessa in for a kiss.

Neither of them ever wanted this to end. 


	12. Home is the nicest word there is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big things are happening!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I took the box idea from Grey's Anatomy, yes I'm glad I did it.

Brooke paced back and forth in front of the bulletin board. She checked her watch. 3:15pm. She still had five minutes before the new Prima was posted. Five minutes before she found out if her life changed forever. Five minutes before she found out if all of her hard work paid off. 

She checks her watch again. Only two minutes have passed, and she continues pacing. 

She hears high heels clacking on the tile, echoing in the hallway. Brooke stood off to the side, trying not to look too anxious. Mrs. High Heels posts the paper on the board and Brooke waited a minute to check it. 

One look at the paper, and Brooke Lynn's heart sped up. She did it. Brooke Lynn Mateo-Hytes: the new Prima Ballerina for her company, after three years with the company. Three years of late rehearsals, three years of hard work, paying off.

Brooke's first thought was Vanessa. She had to tell her. 

Brooke snapped a picture of the poster. She ran from the building, to her car and flew to the hospital, she had to tell Vanessa, she had to tell her in person, and she couldn't wait. Brooke made her way to the OB ward and waited to be buzzed in. 

"Hey Brooke!" Kameron called from behind the desk, "Vanessa is in a room, she will be back in a second. You can have a seat" Kameron gestures to an empty set of chairs.

Brooke nods but doesn't sit, can't sit. She's so excited.

"Brooke?" The confused voice of her wife calls from down the hall, Brooke smiles at the sound, "baby, what are you doing here? Is everything ok?"

Brooke's smile widens, she pulls out her phone and shows Vanessa the picture of the poster. 

"I did it, Ness, I've been named Prima."

Pride blooms in Vanessa's chest. She throws her arms around Brooke's neck, and presses a kiss to her cheek. 

"That's amazing, baby, I'm so proud of you."

Brooke hugs her back tightly, so full of happiness. 

"I'll get going so you can get back to work, but I couldn't wait to tell you." Brooke says when they let go of each other. 

They kiss goodbye with promises of celebrating later. 

Vanessa goes back to work, trying to focus on her charts and the two laboring moms down the hall. As soon as 7pm hits, though, she's rushing to clock out, excited to get home to her wife. 

"Brookie," Vanessa calls walking through the door, "I'm home!"

Brooke is in the kitchen, finishing the lasagna for dinner. 

"Hey, Ness." She smiles.

"It smells good in here." 

Vanessa kisses her wife and heads down the hall to the bedroom to change into some comfy clothes. She returns just in time to pour the wine while Brooke set the table. 

Dinner is served and they sit.

"I'm so happy for you, Brookie." Vanessa says softly. 

"Thank you baby," Brooke blushes, "thank you."

"This is so good, you're a dancer, you're a chef, you're beautiful, my wife is a total package." 

Brooke laughs, "so I've been thinking, now that I am where I want to be, maybe we can start looking at houses?"

"Like to buy?"

Brooke nods, and Vanessa thinks it over for a minute.

"Can we afford that right now?" 

"I think with my pay raise we can."

Vanessa listens, but she isn't so sure. She isn't sure how much Brooke is going to be making. 

"It's definitely something to think about." Vanessa says softly and Brooke smiles. 

In bed that night, they get lost in each other, between featherlight touches, sweet kisses, and promises of their future whispered on each others lips. 

The next few days consist of Vanessa looking at listings, sending them to Brooke. Each one breaking her heart a little more. Vanessa and Brooke Lynn had set a budget, and the bare minimum of what they wanted was just out of that range. After a few links, and Vanessa setting her hopes too high, Brooke suggested that maybe right now wasn't the time, and maybe they should save a little more. Reluctantly, Vanessa agreed. 

About three months after Brooke's promotion, the nurse manager on Vanessa's unit announced her retirement. Vanessa had mixed feelings about this. She loved the manager, her name was Kasha, and she was the sweetest. She was the first one to check on Vanessa after her accident, and she was the first to offer congratulations when Vanessa and Brooke got engaged, so she was really going to miss her. But this meant that the position was open for application, and they always offered internally first. Vanessa knew that there would be a lot of clerical work, but she felt hopeful that she could do it and balance a few shifts on the floor. Vanessa applied for the position, opting not to tell Brooke, just in case it fell through. 

It didn't, and on Kasha's last day, she called Vanessa into her office to give her the news: she was officially offered the job of OB Nurse Manager. 

Vanessa couldn't wait for Brooke to get home from the studio that night. She couldn't wait to tell her the news.

As soon as the door opened and Brooke stepped into the apartment, Vanessa ran over, oozing excitement. 

"You are ...energetic today, did you have a good day at work, baby?" Brooke asked, kissing the shorter girl on the top of her head. 

"I have to tell you something, so did I tell you that Kasha is retiring?"

Brooke thinks for a moment, "no you didn't, that's sad. I liked her."

"Me too, but guess who they chose as a replacement manager?" Vanessa grinned.

"No!"

"Yes!" 

Before Vanessa could say anything else, Brooke lifts her by the waist and spins her around.

"Baby that's incredible!"

"Brookie, we can finally get a house!"

Brooke kisses her wife quickly, "we can finally get a house." She repeats, softly. 

Brooke and Vanessa look online for weeks, while still putting money back for a down payment. Nothing catches their eye.

Vanessa pushes her laptop away from her and groans. She taps her forehead on the table. 

"Well at least if you kill your brain cells, you'll still be pretty." Brooke says, crossing the kitchen to the fridge. 

Vanessa shoots a glare at her wife, "bitch."

"What's wrong baby?" Brooke sits down next to Vanessa at the table. 

"I want to find the perfect house."

Brooke reaches over and pushes hair out of Vanessa's face. 

"Baby we aren't going to find the perfect place right away." She presses a kiss to Vanessa's temple, "it's going to take time. But it'll happen."

Vanessa nods, but still unconvinced. She just wants to find a place, one that's all theirs. The perfect place. She's convinced it doesn't exist. 

Until one day, about six months after her promotion. Vanessa sits at the kitchen island, looking through listings yet again. How she is still managing to look, she doesn't know. All of the listings are running together, until one stands out to her. It's beautiful. It's two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It's not very big, but they don't need much space. She sends the link to Brooke who checks it after rehearsal. Without hesitation, Brooke calls the realtor because she, too, thinks it's perfect.

Brooke sets up a tour for the following day and Vanessa is so excited when Brooke tells her. The next day comes and Brooke drives them to the house. It's beautiful. The exterior is yellow siding and grey stone. It has a decent sized back yard, perfect for a family, with a gorgeous deck. It has a beautiful kitchen, spacious living room, and fireplace. 

Brooke and Vanessa decide to make an offer on the house, and a few days later, they got the call. They had been accepted and approved for the loan. It was happening. They're buying a house. 

The day that they sign for the house is an emotional one. Both so proud of this accomplishment.

Moving in, however, was stressful. In the almost five years they lived in their apartment, Vanessa and Brooke had accumulated so much stuff and they didn't exactly know how. 

With the help of their friends, and a U-Haul or two, Brooke and Vanessa are able to move into their new place in two days.

Finally, their friends leave. Brooke and Vanessa walk them out, waving standing on their brand new front porch. 

"C'mon, blondie, we have to christen this place." Vanessa says, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Without missing a beat, Brooke scoops up Vanessa bridal style, just as she had done in Aruba, and on random days since, and carries her inside. They stand in the foyer, Vanessa in Brooke's arms, and they share kiss after sweet, passionate kiss. 

"Bedroom." Vanessa breathes in between kisses, "Brooke Lynn, bedroom." 

"Baby, we don't have our bed set up yet." 

Vanessa laughs, "the couch then, mami. Something. Let's go."

Brooke sets Vanessa on her feet, and leads her to the living room by her hips. They stop dead in their tracks. They stood in the middle of their living room, the sight instantly killing the mood. They stood in the spacious living room surrounded by boxes. 

"Welp. I am suddenly not horny anymore." Vanessa deadpans, Brooke giggles, "there's so much shit, Brookie! How did we get so much stuff?"

"We will get it unpacked, let's make a plan. We each open and unpack one box a day."

Vanessa nods in agreement, and they decide to do it now. 

Brooke and Vanessa spend the next few days sticking to their unpacking plan, but on their first days back to work, they're both just so tired. Vanessa came straight home from the hospital and flopped down on the bed, scrubs and all.

"Nessa, baby, don't fall asleep." Brooke poked Vanessa in the side. 

"I'm so tired." Vanessa whined.

"You have to open a box today."

" _ You  _ have to open a box today."

"Ness, I already did. Here."

Brooke pushes a small box, obviously not anything that could've held contents from the old apartment. 

"B, what is it?"

"Just open it." Brooke smiles softly.

Vanessa opens the box and inside is….another box? 

_ Very funny, B.  _ She thinks.

She opens that box and her heart skips. Inside is a white gold heart locket. Inside are pictures of them from the day they moved into the house, and on the back is an inscription with the date they moved in. Vanessa melts a little bit. 

"B, its beautiful." Tears collect in Vanessa's eyes, and her heart is so full of love.

She leans in and kisses her wife. 

"I got me one too." Brooke beams and shows Vanessa her matching locket. 

"I love it, Brookie, and I love you."

"Come to the living room with me, I've started a fire and I put all of our fluffiest blankets out. Let's order takeout and get naked." Brooke winks.

Vanessa jumps up quickly and pulls off her scrubs. 

"Whatcha waitin for, mami? Let's go."

Sex by a fireplace is something Vanessa never thought she needed in her life until now. 

She laid on her back next to Brooke, skin covered in sweat and trying to catch her breath. Brooke rolls on her side, taking in the smaller girls beauty. 

"Whatcha lookin at, blondie?" 

"You're beautiful."

Vanessa blushes, "I love you."

"I love you too, Ness."

Vanessa gets lost in thought. She thinks about her life; her life in this house, her life with Brooke, when she realizes something. She says it before she can even stop herself, before she can even think about what Brooke's response might be. 

"Let's have a baby." Vanessa blurts out. 

Brooke stares for a second, "I- what?"

Vanessa blushes, and fears she shouldn't have said it. 

"Nothing, nevermind."

"No, no, baby, I'm sorry I didn't mean- you want to have a baby?"

Vanessa nods, "Its something I've thought about for a while," she confesses.

Brooke considers her words for a moment. A baby. Vanessa wants to have a baby. 

"It's a lot to think about, a lot to talk about. Let's do it."

Vanessa's face lights up, and she hooks her leg over Brooke. She rolls them so she is on top and she starts kissing and biting at the taller girl's neck. 

"Easy, Nessa, we can't make one like this."

Vanessa gets lost in a fit of giggles. 

"Well no shit, Mary."


	13. ten little fingers, ten little toes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just like that, their family of two becomes three.

"BROOKE LYNN!" Vanessa's loud voice boomed through the upstairs of the house. 

Brooke was still in bed, and while her wife wanted to let her sleep, she just couldn't contain her excitement. Brooke's eyes snapped open and her heart jumped. She shot out of bed and ran towards the source- her wife sitting on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down her face.

"What?! What's wrong?!" She asked frantically. 

"Look!" Vanessa said, she held her hand up with an object in her palm. 

One look at the object almost had Brooke in tears as well. A pregnancy test and the result was  _ Positive. _

~*~

_ "You're sure about this?" Brooke asked, "it could be really hard on you." _

_ Vanessa nods, "I was born for this." _

_ Brooke rolls her eyes, "so dramatic." _

_ "I'm serious, blondie. I was put on this earth to do two things, be a nurse, and be a mama." _

_ Brooke smiles affectionately, "well I know but I meant the part where you're the one who has the baby. There are other options." _

_ "Mami, I've been waiting for this for years. I'm sure." _

_ Brooke felt relief with her wife's words. They sat in the waiting room of their OBGYN. It's been three weeks since that night in front of the fireplace. Well, that  _ first  _ night in front of the fireplace, they've had a few since.  _

_ In those three weeks, they've made some decisions. They're going to get a donor, and Vanessa is going to carry their first baby. Brooke wanted to do it but decided that maybe it's best if she doesn't. She hasn't been prima very long and doesn't know how that would work with a basketball in her tutu. _

_ There are doctor's appointments and lab tests and exams to determine if this is the best route or not.  _

_ The doctor determines that it is and Vanessa and Brooke decide to take the next steps: choosing a donor. They decide to pick someone who resembles Brooke- blonde hair, blue eyes. Even though they're sure the baby will resemble Vanessa the most, there's still a chance.  _

_ In mid-June, their appointment comes and Vanessa spends the next month and a half dreaming of a little baby. _

~*~

"You didn't tell me you were going to take a test!" Brooke said, excitedly.

"I wanted to surprise you. I had a plan, but then I saw the positive, and Brooke, I panicked and yelled for you." Vanessa gets lost in a fit of giggles.

"Have you been feeling weird? Sick? How do you feel now? Are you ok?" Brooke asks, taking Vanessa's face in her hands and studying it. She knew she was overreacting, being overbearing maybe, but she couldn't help it.

Vanessa would normally make fun of her but right now, her heart softens at the doting. 

"I've been feeling nauseous but it's nothing I can't handle baby," Vanessa reassures, "if it stays this mild then I will be golden."

It doesn't and over the next few weeks Vanessa experiences worsening nausea, and even a migraine. She became increasingly fatigued, and at points slightly irritable, snapping at Brooke a few times over minor things.

"Brooke! Must you leave your shoes in the foyer? I'm going to break my neck one of these days." Vanessa grumbled. 

"Sorry baby," Brooke says, startled, "I- I thought I moved them out of the way. I'll do it now."

Vanessa instantly felt bad and went from one extreme to the next. A few tears welled up in her eyes. 

"B, I'm sorry." Vanessa says softly, sitting down on the couch, "hormones...or something."

Brooke comes back in after moving her shoes and sits down next to Vanessa. 

"It's okay."

"No, it's not, I hope your kid doesn't make me a bitch for the next 6 and a half months."

"Oh, it's just my kid right now?"

"When it's making me mean, yes." Vanessa pouts adorably.

Brooke leans over and kisses Vanessa's pouting lips, and then sits back while pulling Vanessa's feet on her lap. 

"Your feet are swollen." Brooke notices, maybe changing the subject on purpose.

"I just spent twelve hours on my feet, Brookie." 

Vanessa grabs the tv remote and turns it on while Brooke starts to rub her feet. 

"God, when did we get so old?" Vanessa asks.

"We aren't old."

"Ok, when did we get so boring?"

"We aren't boring either." Brooke chuckles, "but you're tired, and I'm trying to help."

It was all very domestic. 

Vanessa watches tv, but Brooke watches Vanessa. She loves her wife. She looks so tired but she is still so beautiful. 

Brooke reaches over and lifts Vanessa's shirt so she can look at her stomach. 

"Bitch, what're you doin'?" Vanessa asks, not taking her eyes off the tv.

"Just looking."

"Tryna see if I'm fat yet?" 

"You'll never be fat."

"Yes, I will." Vanessa rolls her eyes, "I give it three weeks before its poppin' out there. That's my prediction."

"It's going to be so cute, Ness." 

Vanessa grins, "I know."

~*~

15 weeks

"Ughhhh!!!!!" 

Brooke hears Vanessa groan from down the hall. 

"What's wrong, baby?" Brooke ran down the hall to the bedroom, thinking Vanessa is sick again. She's been so sick. 

"I can't button my pants." Vanessa groans.

"What? Why? They fit yester-" Brooke enters the bedroom and stops in her tracks, "‐day...Vanessa!"

"Don't!" Vanessa whines, "it has started. I'm getting fat."

Vanessa's lower abdomen was starting to protrude, and it was one of the most beautiful things Brooke has seen since their wedding day.

"Where did that come from?" Brooke asked. 

"Are you seriously asking that, blondie?"

"I just mean it wasn't there yesterday."

"It might have been, I don't know." Vanessa flops down onto the bed. 

"Guess what, baby," Brooke pulls out her phone, "the app says the baby is the size of an avocado."

The color drains from Vanessa's face as her stomach lurches. She jumps up and runs towards the bathroom, flinging the door open. 

"Oh fuck," Brooke gets up and follows, "Ness?"

Brooke gets into the bathroom just in time to see Vanessa vomit. Lovely. She fills a cup with water and then kneels down to rub Vanessa's back. She pulls her hair out of the way. 

Vanessa sits back and takes the water, sipping it slowly. 

"Sorry," Brooke says softly, pushing Vanessa's hair back. 

"It's okay. It's few and far between."

~*~

_ Vanessa is right at twelve weeks when she and Brooke sit down to facetime her mom. She couldn't wait to tell her but she knew there was a certain amount of time for them to wait.  _

_ "Hi girls!" Alexis said when she picked up, "I wasn't expecting to see both of you, what a nice surprise!" _

_ "Hi mama," Vanessa smiles, "you have that package we sent you?" _

_ Alexis looks puzzled for a moment but then remembers that she did, in fact, get a package from Vanessa with  _ strict  _ orders to not open it until Vanessa and Brooke Lynn said she could. She nods.  _

_ "We want you to open it!"  _

_ Alexis nods again and starts opening the package. She pulls out a t-shirt. _

_ "You bought me clothes, Mija?" She's confused.  _

_ "Just look at it, ma, there's words." _

_ Alexis holds the t-shirt up and reads what it says: _

#1 Grandma

_ Her expression goes from confusion to excitement, to full-on crying.  _

_ "Mama! Ma! Breathe!" Vanessa giggles. _

_ Her mom calms down, and looks between Brooke and Vanessa, "so which one of you…?" _

_ Vanessa raises her hand.  _

_ "Oh, I knew it. You had a  _ look  _ to you." _

~*~

20 weeks

"You're doing it again," Brooke says, placing a hand on Vanessa's knee that was bouncing rapidly, she stops. 

"Sorry, Brooke, I'm nervous."

"What do you think it's going to be?" Brooke is trying to change the subject, trying to distract her wife. 

"Girl," Vanessa is sure of it, "women in my family have girls first, and my mama said that this sounds like her pregnancy with me."

Brooke cocks an eyebrow, "that doesn't mean anything." 

"Bitch, yes it does!" Vanessa says a little too loudly, resulting in a pointed look from the receptionists, "oops." She giggles.

"Well, just for that, I'm saying boy." Brooke gives her a smug look, and Vanessa rolls her eyes.

"Vanessa?" The assistant calls from the doorway, and she and Brooke get up to follow. 

They follow her down the hall to the exam room. After the assistant goes over all of Vanessa's information, she gives her the instructions to get ready and leaves. 

"Will you turn around?" Vanessa asks quietly, playing with the hem of her shirt. 

Her bump grows more each day, and every time she notices she's a little bigger, she gets even more self-conscious. Brooke tries to tell her that she is beautiful, but all Vanessa sees is a big belly. Brooke smiles softly and does as she's asked. Vanessa changes into the flimsy gown quickly and then hops up onto the exam table to wait while Brooke sits across the room in a chair. After what feels like hours, but is only about 15 minutes, the doctor comes in to examine, telling Vanessa that everything seems healthy, and then says he will send in the ultrasound tech.

The tech comes in a few minutes later. She looks between Vanessa and Brooke Lynn with an unreadable look. Vanessa doesn't recognize her, she must be new.

"Sorry, ma'am," she looks at Brooke, "immediate family only for this part. If you could step out into the hall, I'd appreciate it."

Brooke feels her face get hot and Vanessa feels a heavy feeling of anger in her chest. 

_ Clearly, she didn't read the chart.  _ She thinks to herself. 

"I'm her wife." Brooke raises an eyebrow. 

The tech's eyes widen and her cheeks flush. 

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I just-."

"Assumed?" Vanessa cuts in, unamused, "maybe next time you will read the chart, or ask who she is and how she is related instead of just assuming." Vanessa wasn't trying to be bitchy, but she was tired and just ready to see their baby on the screen. 

The tech nods her head and mumbles another apology before sitting down next to the exam table. Brooke stands by Vanessa's side and holds her hand while the tech talks them through it. 

The tech moves the wand around Vanessa's belly, pointing out the fingers and toes, arms and legs. 

"But we know why you're really here today." She says, trying to position the wand to where she can see the sex of the baby, "they sure are wiggly."

"Is that what that is?" Vanessa asks, and the tech nods, "not going to lie, I thought it was gas."

Brooke snorts with laughter, "of course. I want to feel, though." She pouts. 

"I don't think you can yet, Brookie, I can only feel it from the inside. But as soon as it's stronger you'll be the first to know."

Brooke smiles and kisses her wife. 

"C'mon, little one." The tech presses and pokes Vanessa's belly to get the baby to move and turn so she can get a good look, "ah, here we go. Okay mommies, you ready?"

One look at the screen and Brooke can see what it is, but she nods along with Vanessa. 

"Looks like it's a boy." The tech says, and she explains what they are seeing on the screen. 

Neither Brooke nor Vanessa are listening though. They're crying and kissing each other because it's a  _ boy  _ and he is healthy. 

~*~

28.5 weeks, baby's size: eggplant

"Noah?"

"Ivan."

"Geez, B, are we having a baby or a 70-year-old man?" Vanessa laughs.

They sat on the couch, Vanessa had her swollen feet up on the coffee table.

Brooke rolls her eyes, "it's cute."

Vanessa wrinkles her nose. 

"Ok, not so cute." Brooke thinks for a minute, "Lucas?"

Vanessa thinks, "it's cute, what about Dominic?"

Brooke likes it but just doesn't think it's the right name. 

"What about Henry?" Brooke jokes.

"B, that is literally our cat's name. What the fuck?" Vanessa laughs and Brooke shrugs. 

"I really love that cat. Ok ok, fine, not Henry. What about Avery?"

"Oh my goodness, I love that." Vanessa squeals, and pecks her wife on the cheek, "let's choose that one."

Brooke nods, "now wait, we need to see what he thinks." Brooke looks pointedly as Vanessa's belly, "what do you think little man, do you want your name to be Avery?" 

With perfect timing, the baby lays a hard kick to Vanessa's hand, "well, that answers that. I think he's a fan!"

~*~

_ 26 weeks 3 days _

_ Vanessa sat in the bathtub after a long day of work. She had been feeling more and more movement recently and it almost made her nauseous, which was frustrating because she thought she was done with that stage. Their little man had been doing somersaults all day but the minute the water covered her belly, he calmed down and she was able to relax. She had her hands on either side of her stomach, hoping that she can just feel a solid kick, a confirmation that when Brooke tries, she will be able to feel something. She pokes and prods and even jiggles her belly a little, but little man is relaxed and she gives up.  _

_ Laying in bed that night, she's curled on her left side with Brooke as the big spoon. Brooke's hand resting protectively over Vanessa's bump. They're both almost asleep when Brooke feels it: a nice solid kick to the palm of her hand.  _

_ She almost jumps out of bed.  _

_ "Holy fuck," Vanessa says, eyes snapping open, "did you feel that?!" _

_ Brooke can't answer, she's too busy crying. Vanessa hears sniffling and turns her head.  _

_ "Baby, are you crying?" _

_ "No." She lies, sniffling.  _

_ This brings Vanessa to tears. "Yes you are and now so am I." _

_ "I just- I felt him. I felt him kick."  _

_ Vanessa smiles and presses a kiss to her wife's cheek.  _

_ ~*~ _

33 weeks

"I'm a whale." Vanessa concludes while she looks at herself in the mirror, "I'm an ugly, fat whale."

She's been worried since the day that she found out she was pregnant that she would end up fat and unattractive, and here she is.

"Nessa, stop that. You're not ugly, and you're not fat. You're beautiful and you're carrying our baby. What you're doing is gonna give us a family, and that in itself is beautiful." Brooke walked up behind Vanessa in front of the mirror. She wraps her arms around Vanessa's middle and runs her hands over the smaller girls bump, it feels lopsided.

"Ness, is he really only laying on your left side right now?"

Vanessa nods, "fuck my bladder right?" She groans. 

Vanessa's got ten weeks left and her body is adjusting. 

Her hips hurt and her back hurts. Her legs hurt and if she's being completely honest, her boobs hurt too. All of that on this day when she has to put on a smile and go to her baby shower.

"Is your mom meeting us at the banquet hall?" Brooke asks.

"Yeah, along with Nina, and the rest of our friends."

Brooke nods, "ok well we should get going."

The banquet hall was decorated with blue and white decorations. ' _ It's a boy'  _ balloons, blue streamers, it was all very cute, and their friends did this for them. 

It goes by in a blur of people. Brooke's favorite part is the games. Detox hands out balls of play-doh and the party-goers have to "make" a baby. There's also a onesie decorating station. Nina draws Cinderella on one, and Silky writes "I <3 my mommies" on another, and Detox writes "I <3 boobies" because of course, she does. They all turn out very cute.

Vanessa's favorite part is the presents of course. 

"Look at the little coveralls, B! And the little bowtie! He's going to look so handsome!" 

Vanessa was glowing and Brooke loved every minute of it. 

Brooke's parents got them a car seat, and Vanessa's mom got them a crib and changing table. Everything was coming together and becoming more real. As real as the pain in Vanessa's pelvis. 

~*~

_ 30 weeks _

_ "Baby, you ready?" Brooke calls down the hall.  _

_ Vanessa grabs her duffle bag and makes her way down the hall.  _

_ "Where are we going? And why did I have to pack a bag?" _

_ "We are going to stay in the city. I got us a room at a fancy hotel, I'm taking you to a nice restaurant, and we are going to a show that the company is putting on." _

_ "Wait, they putting on a show and you ain't in it, what's that about Mami?" _

_ "They know that little man will be here soon and someone is standing in for me." Brooke shrugs. _

_ The drive into the city is nice. It's a beautiful day.  _

_ Brooke gets them checked into the hotel and leads Vanessa to the room. She unlocks the door and steps inside, but Vanessa stays in the hall. Brooke gives her a confused look.  _

_ "What, you're not gonna carry me this time?" _

_ "You want me to? You always give me shit when I try." Brooke raises an eyebrow.  _

_ "Nah, I'm just playin'," Vanessa walks through the door, "I don't want you to throw your back out, Mami." _

_ Vanessa takes a look around the room, it's gorgeous, and it was hers and Brooke's paradise for the night.  _

~*~

39 weeks, 3 days.

Vanessa wanted to work up until she physically popped the baby out on the floor. Ok maybe not  _ that  _ close, but here she was, 39 weeks and 3 days, unable to see her feet, and still working. She felt fine, great even, aside from some fatigue and random back spasms.

Except they weren't random back spasms, and Vanessa knew it, but she knew if she said something, she wouldn't be allowed to work the rest of her shift.

Vanessa's contractions started around 3 p.m, she was off at 5. They were easily twenty minutes apart and mild for most of the day, but by the end of her shift, they were closer and more intense. 

"Kameron," she said after she clocked out for the night.

"What's up?"

"Um, so, I think that I  _ might  _ be having contractions, and by might, I mean definitely."

Kameron's eyes get really big, "oh shit."

"Yeah definitely oh shi-!" Vanessa is cut off by another one.

Kameron helps her sit down. 

"Okay, so this is definitely happening, um, let's start admission and I'm going to call my wife. Yeah, call my wife."

Brooke is finishing up rehearsal when her phone rings. Her stomach flips. Vanessa never calls, always texts. 

"Baby?" She answers. 

"Hi Brookie, um, I won't be home from work tonight, because I'm going to be here, and, uh, you should probably get here too because I think it's go time, Mary."

Brooke tries to process the words. 

"It's happening?" She asks, and Vanessa gasps out a quick ' _ yes _ ' obviously having another one. 

Brooke rushes to the hospital as quickly as she could. She hopes Vanessa is okay, she told her to slow down and not work so much, her wife was just so stubborn. 

_ Little man will be too.  _ She thinks. 

Brooke rushes into the room and is greeted with Vanessa sitting up and eating a jello cup.

“Ness, how do you feel? Do you need anything?”

Vanessa smiles and Brooke’s anxiety lessens, her heart rate slowing to a normal pace. The last time Vanessa was in a hospital bed Brooke hadn’t even known if she was gonna be okay and now they were both more than okay. Their lives were about to change for the better and suddenly nothing seemed all that scary anymore. 

“I’m alright, B. Come sit with me,” Vanessa says with a warm smile. Her contractions were still pretty mild and far apart, and she was doing okay, maybe nervous as all hell, but okay. Brooke sits on the edge of the bed, carefully avoiding the IV tubes.

“How are you really doing, Ness? How bad does it hurt?”

Vanessa lightly squeezes Brooke’s hand.

“I feel okay. They’re not too bad yet. I think I’m gonna try no epidural, though.”

Brooke’s eyes go wide. “Baby, it might not be that bad now, but surely you’ll want some later?”

“We’ll see, if I need it, I need it. But for now, we’re planning to go as natural as possible.”

Brooke ruffles Vanessa’s hair. “Alright, sweetheart.”

An hour later, Vanessa’s contractions get closer and closer, each one sneaking up on her a few minutes earlier than the last. Each one makes her wince a little more. 

When another one comes only a few minutes after the last, she’s near doubled over in pain and has Brooke’s hand in a death grip.

“Baby, are you sure you don’t want the epidural?” Brooke whispered softly.

“Brooke, shut up,” she hisses through gritted teeth.

“Okay, okay, I’m just trying to help.”

Vanessa’s about to reply when another contraction comes, much more painful than all the last, leaving Vanessa groaning in pain. She feels a pop and she knows her water just broke. 

“Brooke. Get the doctor, please,” she mutters, her voice sounding rougher than usual.

Brooke learned her lesson and just silently gets the doctor, who comes in following Brooke a moment later.

“So Vanessa, contractions are getting close together. Are you ready to push?”

“Get me the fucking pain meds, doc, and then we can talk about pushing this damn kid outta me,” she growls.

The doctor chuckles, clearly used to this kind of outburst from expectant mothers.

“Alright, nurse, push a round of epidural, please.”

The nurse works quickly and pushes the epidural injection, the medicine almost relieving Vanessa’s pain immediately.

“Thank you,” Vanessa mumbles, a little embarrassed for snapping at the doctor, especially due to the fact that she worked with him on the daily. 

She had bigger things to worry about. This doctor is her coworker and is about to see a  _ whole  _ new side to her, literally. 

The doctor nods at the thanks. “So, shall we see how far you’re dilated? Last time we checked you were at 5, so I’m thinking, by how quickly you've progressed, you should be around 10 by now.”

“Sounds good, doc,” she says, leaning back for him.

He’s diligent and quick in his work, which Vanessa is glad for.

“Okay, good news, just as I thought you’re dilated 10 centimeters and as long as the epidural has taken full effect, we could start in a few minutes. Does that sound good?”

Vanessa and Brooke both look at each other simultaneously and nod. They were ready to meet their little man. As terrified as they were, nothing had ever been more exciting. In just a little while they’ll go from just Brooke and Vanessa to being a whole family.

“We’re ready,” Vanessa whispers, more to Brooke and herself than the team of doctors and nurses standing around them.

Brooke kisses her sweat-damp forehead and whispers back. “We’re ready.”

Brooke is sure they are, and Vanessa's just amazed by how quickly this is going. She has seen first-time moms labor for  _ hours.  _

"I love you," Vanessa whispers. 

"I love you too, Ness." Brooke brushes Vanessa's hair back off her face. 

They get Vanessa settled just in time for the pressure in her abdomen to tell her that she  _ needs  _ to push, and she just lets it happen. Her body knows what to do and she trusts it 

Four pushes. That's all it takes. Four pushes, encouraging words from everyone around her, including her wife, and their family of two became a party of three. 

Relief flooded their hearts and tears filled their eyes as they heard tiny little lungs make such loud cries. Brooke is so proud, and she tells Vanessa so. Vanessa is tired, but the joy she feels is overwhelming. 

They place little Avery on Vanessa's bare chest the minute he is out, and he's absolutely beautiful. He has jet black hair like his mama and loud little lungs.

_ Also, just like his mama.  _ Brooke thinks fondly.

"I'm so proud of you, Ness." Brooke whispers, unable to take her eyes off the view in front of her. She snaps picture after picture, knowing that Vanessa will yell at her but she doesn't care, not when her wife is a rockstar. 

"Welcome to the world, Avery Samuel Mateo-Hytes." Vanessa says softly, voice thick with tears. 

"Look at that, Ness, ten fingers and ten toes, it's all here." Brooke smiles.

One of Vanessa's nurses, Ariel, walks her through feeding the baby and Vanessa is unsure how she feels about the sensation when the baby latches, but she's sure she will get used to it. For now, things are perfect. Yeah, she's tired, but it's perfect.

Vanessa sits in the hospital bed, Avery on her lap. Brooke is fast asleep in the bed next to her. It's around 5 a.m, and Vanessa still hasn't slept. Vanessa is busy snapping away, taking pictures of their little angel.

"Baby?" Brooke says sleepily. 

"Hi Brookie," Vanessa replies softly, not taking her eyes off the baby, she's in awe. 

"Vanessa, honey, why are you awake?" 

Vanessa gestures to the baby, "you see him? That's why."

Brooke laughs, "you're supposed to sleep when he does, Ness." 

"I know but he's just so perfect I can't stop watching him, and I don't want to put him down."

"Here," Brooke says, holding her arms out, "let me take him and you can sleep. When did he eat last?"

"Half an hour ago," Vanessa says, yawning and handing Avery to her wife. 

"Okay, well sleep then. I'll wake you in a few hours."

The last few words fall on deaf ears as Vanessa is already snoring.

  
  



	14. someday these will be the good old days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first year of Brooke and Vanessa’s life as parents.

Vanessa can't remember a time when she had ever been this tired in her entire life. They've been home from the hospital for a week and in that week, Brooke and Vanessa have barely slept. Avery was needing to be fed about every 3 and a half hours, which meant short naps for Vanessa. Brooke helped the best she could but sweet Avery didn't like the bottle yet, so Vanessa had to be the one to feed him.

Brooke was really good about other stuff though, diaper changes, and baths. 

It was 3am, Avery was about five and a half weeks old. Brooke had to return to work the next day and was fast asleep. Vansssa, however, was awake. She was sitting up in the bed, Avery eating, and a soft nightlight on as to not disturb her sleeping wife. Vanessa was anxious. She was about to spent the whole day home alone with the baby, something she hasn't had to do yet. Her mom spent the first week and a half with them to help them settle in and adjust. 

Vanessa was scared. What if she messed up? What if she got too stressed? Too overwhelmed? What if he cried all day? What if _she_ cried all day? Her hormones are wild right now. All of these thoughts spiraled to what if Vanessa was a bad mom. She wanted to raise Avery right, wanted to raise him into a good man. She sat there, watching his little face while he ate. A drop of water landed on his cheek. 

_What?_

She brushed her hair out of her face and came into contact with tears on her cheek. 

_When did I start crying?_

She sniffles, and Brooke stirs. 

"Ness?" She says sleepily.

"Brookie, I'm sorry, go back to sleep." She sniffle again.

"Baby, you're crying. Why are you crying?" Brooke sits up. 

"I'm so tired, and a little overwhelmed, but he's almost done then I'll go to sleep."

Vanessa doesn't want to tell Brooke what's going on. She knows if she does, Brooke will not want to go back to work as planned, and Vanessa knows Brooke misses dancing.

_No, I'll be fine._ She thinks, placing the sleeping baby in the cradle and crawling back in bed, cuddling up with her wife. 

"Are you going to be ok today, baby?" Brooke asked, gathering her things for rehearsal. 

Vanessa laid on the bed, with Avery next to her, wide awake and kicking his little legs. It almost made Brooke want to skip work for another day, the sight was so inviting. 

"I'll be fine," Vanessa smiles, trying to forget her mini meltdown from last night, it's just the hormones she said to herself, "we will be fine."

Brooke nods and kisses Vanessa, and little Avery on the top of his head.

"Alright, I'll see you tonight then."

Brooke left and immediately wished she was still in the bed with Vanessa and their baby. 

Vanessa's first day with the baby was stressful. She felt overwhelmed. He cried a lot, like usual, but this time the only person who could help was her. She couldn't even take a shower. 

Around lunch time, Vanessa is sitting in the nursery feeding the baby when her phone buzzes. 

**B:** how are my babies?

Vanessa replies with a picture of her and a sleeping Avery. Brooke smiles, affection growing in her heart. She replies with a pouty face.

**B:** missing you

Vanessa made a simple dinner that night. Chicken breasts, salad, and soup. It fit perfectly with Brooke's diet. 

Brooke got home earlier than Vanessa expected, but just in time for dinner.

"Hi, love." Brooke wraps her arms around her wife, "looks good. How was your day?"

"It was good." She gave a weak smile.

Brooke didn't believe it. She could tell Vanessa had a rough day.

"How about after dinner, I relax with the baby and you can take a hot bath?"

That sounds exactly what Vanessa needs, so she agrees to it. It helps, the bath. Her muscles relax. 

She helps Brooke with Avery's bedtime routine and once he's asleep in his cradle, they curl up on the couch. Brooke runs her her fingers through Vanessa's dark curls. 

"How was your day, really, Nessa?" She says softly. 

Vanessa was quiet for a minute, but then she sniffled, and Brooke could tell she was crying.

"Ness, what's wrong?"

"Brooke, I'm so tired, I'm sorry. I'm tired, overwhelmed, and I'm afraid of messing him up."

Brooke puts a hand on Vanessa's cheek and tilts her head to look at her, "Vanessa, you're not going to mess him up. You're his mama, and you love him. Please don't cry, sweetheart."

Vanessa nods, "I'm sorry, the hormones, lack of sleep, it's just a lot."

Brooke nods, "I know baby."

When Avery is twelve weeks, Vanessa has to go back to work. It's something that she has had mixed feelings about since she brought the baby home. She was ready but she wasn't. 

She dropped the baby off at the daycare at the hospital and headed to her floor. Her heart instantly missed the tiny baby, but it was nice to talk to adults. 

Brooke gets out of rehearsal and takes a cab over to the hospital, wanting to ride home with Vanessa and the baby. She picks him up from Daycare and heads to Vanessa's office to surprise her. 

Vanessa is working on the schedule for her nurses when there was a soft knock on the door. She looked up and there stood her wife with their little man in her arms- Vanessa's favorite sight ever. 

"Hi baby," Brooke says, walking over to kiss her. 

“Hey,” Vanessa says, kissing Brooke back and reaching out for Avery.

“C’mere, little man,” she coos, bouncing him in her arms. He sputters and giggles as Vanessa lifts him high in the air.

“Did they say how he was at the daycare?” She asks, settling him on her hip.

“No issues, he ate and napped fine. Our little man is growing up.”

Vanessa groans, “oh my god, don’t say that, he’s not even a year old yet.”

Brooke laughs. “I’m kidding, baby. Just think, by the time he’s actually grown we’re gonna wanna kick him out.”

Vanessa gasps and holds Avery out in front of her.

“Never! You’re mommy’s little man, aren’t you?”

The baby giggles, his little feet kicking.

“So, you ready to get going, Ness?”

Vanessa nods, opting for finishing the schedule from home.

“Yes, just let me pack up and we can get going.”

Vanessa hands Avery off to Brooke as she shoves things in her bag. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she ushers Brooke out and locks the door behind her.

“Ready.” She confirms, reaching back out for the baby.

The whole way to the car she coos and mutters to him, the little boy erupting in fits of giggles every time his momma made a funny face at him.

They buckle him in the car together and ride home in a comfortable silence, the only sounds coming from Avery’s occasional babble or gurgle. 

Even though this is Vanessa’s first official day back since having Avery, they’re able to settle into a comfortable domestic routine immediately. Vanessa takes Avery to get him changed while Brooke changes her own clothes and gets started on dinner.

By the time Avery’s fed, washed, and in his crib, Brooke and Vanessa are tired enough to just collapse into bed.

“I’m proud of you, you know,” Brooke says out of nowhere as she pets down Vanessa’s back.

“For what?” Vanessa chuckles, “I’m not doing anything more than what I have to.”

“I know, but I’m proud of you regardless. You’re like super mom or something.”

Vanessa peeks up at Brooke from her spot on Brooke’s chest. “You think so?”

Brooke kisses the crown of her head. “I know so.”

“Brooke?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want more?”

Brooke sucks in a breath. Of course, she wanted more. But, Avery wasn’t even a year old yet, she definitely wasn’t ready for more right away.

“Ness, you want more already?”

Vanessa’s eyes go wide as she shakes her head. “Hell no, not for a few more years, but I want more. If you do, that is.”

Brooke smiles with relief. “Of course, I want more. But not for a few years, like you said. I think little man is already giving us a run for our money.”

As if it was planned, they’re interrupted by Avery’s loud cry.

“Tell me about it,” Vanessa huffs as she gets up to go check on him. 

Time flies when you have a little one, and before they know it, Avery is almost eleven months old. He had been mobile for a few months, crawling everywhere his little hands and knees will take him. Vanessa laughs when she thinks about the day he first started crawling.

_Vanessa was walking in the door from work, Brooke didn't have rehearsal that day and was able to stay home while Vanessa worked. Avery had been able to get up in the position to crawl for days but couldn't quite get the coordination to go._

_Vanessa got home with takeout and had to yell for Brooke to open the door._

_Brooke had been sitting on the living room floor with Avery on a blanket. She left the room for just a second and when Brooke and Vanessa got back to the living room Avery wasn't on the blanket._

_"Brooke, where's the baby?" Vanessa almost yelled, she knew it wasn't nap time._

_"He was just right here?!"_

_Vanessa almost throws the food onto the table and her and Brooke look frantically around the room for the baby when they hear Riley barking in the kitchen. Vanessa runs that way and finds Avery giggling and playing in Riley's water dish._

_"He's in the kitchen, Brooke!" She said with a sigh of relief, "wait, Brooke he's in the kitchen, why is he in the kitchen?!"_

_Vanessa glances down and sees Avery crawl right over to her feet, sit back, and reach up for her._

_"Alright, so he crawlin, and it's time to baby proof this house, Mary."_

"C'mon, Avery, come to mama!" Vanessa sat on the floor across from Brooke who had Avery standing in front of her, holding on to his little hands, "c'mere little man!" 

Vanessa's hands were outstretched in hopes of getting the baby to walk to her, but he wasn't interested. Instead, he stood there and bounced. 

"You're so cute even when you're not listening." Vanessa said softly. 

"It'll only get worse from here, Ness." 

"C'mon, buddy, give us just a few steps." Brooke pleaded. 

As if he understood, Avery started to move his feet towards Vanessa, taking a couple wobbly steps. Brooke let go of his hands but put her hands out incase he fell. He didn't, and he walked five wobbly, nerve wracking steps to Vanessa, who scooped him up and squeals. 

"Um, Nessa?" Brooke said, looking at her phone that she had set up on the table, "it wasn't recording."

"Son of a bitch, Mary."

"Ness! Language in front of the kid."

"He don't know no better, he too young."

"So when his first word is _bitch_ ," she whispers the word 'bitch', "then it'll be your fault."

Vanessa just rolled her eyes.

Only a month later they’re planning his first birthday. Brooke’s parents fly in, as well as Vanessa’s mother and brothers and Vanessa invites a few of her friends with kiddos as well.

The day comes and Vanessa wakes up feeling emotional. A year ago today she was still pregnant with their little man. A year ago they couldn’t wait to meet him and now he was here and about to be a whole year old. 

Though, the party isn’t gonna be big, Vanessa still slaves away in the kitchen all morning, Brooke on baby duty while she was busy.

When Brooke comes back from getting Avery’s hair cut, Vanessa’s putting the finishing touches on all the food and people are set to start arriving any minute.

“Oh my baby boy! You look so handsome!” Vanessa squeals when Brooke walks in the door, their son still strapped to her front.

“He did really well,” she says, “tell mommy how good you were for the nice hairdresser, buddy! Say ‘mama’, ‘mama’!”

Avery just giggles in response, his little hands waving about in front of him. They’d been trying to get him to say something for weeks now, but the only sounds coming from his mouth are incoherent babbles.

Brooke’s parents are the first to arrive, and they arrive with more than enough gifts for their grandson. When Avery was first born, Brooke had been reluctant to let them into his life. Really, she had just let them back into her own life so she was still nervous about letting them into her son’s life. But they more than proved themselves over the last year, their smiles and praises of their grandson never ceasing.

Vanessa’s mother arrives next with Vanessa’s brothers.

“Hola, mis hijas,” she says, kissing Vanessa and Brooke on the cheeks, “where’s my nieto?”

Vanessa points to the living room, where Brooke’s parents fuss over Avery, cooing everytime he does anything. Alexis guides Vanessa's brothers into the living room, where they are greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Hytes. She picks Avery up and he squeals as she smothers him in hugs and kisses. 

The last few guests show up, and Vanessa says everyone can eat. 

Brooke and Vanessa open some of Avery's presents with him. It lasts all of ten minutes before the little boy is more interested in the wrapping paper than the actual presents. They decide to finish opening them later. Vanessa calls everyone for cake, and Brooke walks in with the laptop to set up in the dining room. On the screen is a video call with Nina, Detox, Silky, and A'keria, all of whom are in different parts of the country and unable to be there. Vanessa squeals and holds Avery in front of the camera so they can see how big he's gotten. 

The take Avery's clothes off leaving him in a white onesie and a diaper, knowing that it'll get messy with the smash cake, and set him in the highchair. 

Vanessa records while everyone sings happy birthday to the little boy. 

"Happy Birthday, dear Avery, happy birthday to you!" They finish, and everyone whoops and hollers, and Avery claps his hands. 

"C'mon, little man," Brooke says, kneeling down next to the highchair, "let's blow out the candle!"

Brooke takes a breath and is about to blow the candle out on the smaller cake when Avery claps his hands some more and says "mama! Mama!"

Everyone stops and stares at him. 

"Did he just-?" Vanessa says, unsure if she heard correctly.

"Mama!" He says again, and Vanessa who hasn't cried in _at least_ two hours starts to sob and laugh at the same time. 

"Yes, baby," she says, pressing a kiss to the top of her baby's head, and then one to Brooke's lips.

"Ok but who was he calling mama?" Vanessa asks her 

"Me, of course," Brooke laughs. 

Vanessa rolls her eyes, "yeah, yeah sure."

Avery puts his hand right into the cake and gets blue and red icing all over his hand. He just looks at it, unsure what to do next. 

"Mama mama mama." He babbles.

Brooke takes his hand and brings it closer to his mouth, and once he tastes the frosting he really digs into the cake. 

All in all, Avery's first birthday was more than just a birthday to Brooke and Vanessa


	15. Double Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big things happen for our little family.

Brooke had known since she was a teenager that ballet was hard on her body. No matter how in shape she kept herself, no matter how healthy she ate, it was still hard on her body. With 30 just around the corner, she could feel herself aching more and more whenever she came home from long rehearsals, and even worse after shows.

Avery is 5 now and will start kindergarten in the fall, and Brooke decides she maybe wants to move on in life. Of course, she’d never give up dance, but maybe being on stage wasn’t for her anymore. 

She decides to break the news to Vanessa on her 30th birthday. That night, Vanessa drops Avery off at his friend’s house for a sleepover and her and Brooke dress up and head to a fancy dinner at Brooke’s favorite restaurant. 

The first half of their dinner is nice, they talk about how their day was, among other small talk, though it feels like something’s being left unsaid. And there is.

Halfway through dinner, Brooke clears her throat, gaining Vanessa’s unwavering attention.

“I think we need to talk about something,” Brooke says.

Vanessa feels a pang of anxiety in her stomach. “Okay, what is it?”

“Okay so, um, I really hope you’re not upset with me, but I just feel like I’m at a place in my life where I need to do this and I just-“

Vanessa cuts her off with a gentle squeeze to her hand. “Calm down, baby, you can tell me anything.”

Brooke nods and takes a deep breath. “I think it’s time I retire from the company. And I’ve been researching jobs and I’ve actually been offered a job teaching ballet at the youth dance academy that’s downtown, and I think I want to take it.”

Vanessa smiles sweetly, her nerves from before completely dissipated. “That sounds amazing, B. If you want to retire from performing I completely support you. And besides it’ll be nice to spend more time with you, and I’m sure Avery would feel the same.”

The mention of their son brings up another point in Brooke’s head.

“There’s one more thing.”

“Okay,” Vanessa says.

“I want to have more kids and I want to carry this time.”

Vanessa smiles wide. “I thought you’d forgotten about wanting more kiddos. And are you sure you’d want to carry? I’d be more than willing to do it again.”

Brooke shakes her head. “No, Ness, I wanna do it.”

Vanessa leans across the table and plants a warm kiss on her wife’s lips.

“I love you, B.”

“I love you too, Ness.”

With the weight of the news off of her shoulders, Brooke goes back to eating. Vanessa's support means everything to her. 

"How soon do you want to start the process?" Vanessa asks.

"Well if you're ready then I can call the clinic tomorrow." 

Vanessa almost gives herself whiplash with how fast she nods. 

"Yes, yes I am definitely ready."

"I'll make the call then," Brooke smiles, "do you think Avery will be a good big brother?"

"I think he will be the best big brother." 

"Do you think he will be excited?"

"He's been asking for a sibling, I think he will be."

Avery was such a good kid, Brooke and Vanessa were quite blessed. He was smart, and kind. He looked  _ just  _ like Vanessa. 

"I almost forgot," Vanessa said, reaching for her purse, "I got you this."

Vanessa hands Brooke a small box, and inside is a necklace with her and Avery's shared birthstone. 

"Ness, I love it." Brooke kisses her wife.

—-

The process Brooke goes through to get pregnant is arguably much easier than the process Vanessa went through. Though, it probably had a lot to do with the fact that they knew what they were doing now and they knew who to talk to and who to see.

By mid April, Brooke’s testing is done and they’ve chosen a donor and started the artificial insemination process.

By the end of May, Brooke nervously paces the bathroom as she waits for the lines to appear, or not appear, on the pregnancy test. She hadn’t told Vanessa she was taking the test, she wanted to surprise her if it happened to come out positive.

She paces and paces for what feels like forever until the timer on her phone finally goes off. Brooke holds her breath as she picks the test up from the counter. She’s never been religious but she sends out a quick prayer to the universe for two pink lines.

With one last deep breath she stares at the test in her hand, and sure enough, there’s two pale pink lines. A wave of emotions washes over her; for one, she’s relieved, relieved that it had worked so quickly. But still, she wouldn’t be Brooke if her thoughts weren’t pulsing with anxious ones as well.  _ What if she fucked it up? What if she did something wrong? What if- _ ?

Her spiral is interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Brooke? Are you in there? I really gotta piss and Avery’s in the other bathroom doing god knows what.”

Her wife’s voice calms her down. Vanessa’s got her, and she’ll be there every step of the way.

Brooke opens the door and Vanessa flies past her to the toilet, not even bothering to shut the door.

Brooke doesn’t even realize she’s staring until Vanessa looks at her with a puzzled expression.

“Why you lookin’ at me like that for?” She teases.

“Just love you,” she replies sincerely, tears welling in her eyes at the overwhelming love she feels for her little family that was about to become one person bigger.

“Brooke? Are you crying?”

“No,” Brooke lies, her sniffles giving her away.

Vanessa gets up from the toilet and quickly washes her hands before making her way back to Brooke.

“What’s wrong, baby?” She says, stroking Brooke’s cheek with damp hands.

“Nothing’s wrong, it’s good tears. I love you guys so much.”

Vanessa looks at her skeptically. “What’s got you so emotional? You’re acting like me when I was-. Wait a minute, you’re acting like me when I was pregnant. Brooke, did you take a test? Are you-“

Brooke doesn’t even let her finish before she’s thrusting the test into Vanessa’s hand.

“Oh my god! Brooke!” She squeals, kneeling down before her wife, hands splayed out on Brooke’s still flat tummy.

“Hi in there, little one,” she coos, “I’m your momma. Your mommy’s gonna take good care of you in there.”

Fat tears stream down Brooke’s cheeks as she watches the love of her life be so excited about the little life she’s growing inside her. 

Vanessa stands up, tears in her eyes and kisses Brooke. They were so focused on each other that they didn't hear the tiny footsteps behind them. 

"Mama? Mommy? Why you guys crying?" Said Avery, startling them both. 

Vanessa and Brooke just looked at each other. They hadn't talked about how they would tell Avery, but with a slight shake of Brooke's head, Vanessa knew it wasn't time yet. 

"No reason, baby, why don't we go start breakfast? What sounds good?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes!" Avery squealed.

"What do you think, B? Chocolate chip pancakes sound good this morning?"

Brooke nods, "let's go make them together."

—-

The following weeks bring a blood test that confirms that Brooke is in fact pregnant. She schedules her first ultrasound for eight weeks, and counts the days until her and Vanessa can see their little babe. 

The morning of the ultrasound, Brooke drives and they drop Avery off at preschool on their way to the doctor. Butterflies flutter in Brooke's stomach, this whole experience has been surreal so far. Her symptoms had been very minimal, some nausea and a bit of vomiting a few days a week, but not like Vanessa's pregnancy. Vanessa was so sick. Brooke's worst symptom Is she just wants to sleep all the time. The little nugget is sucking all of her energy. But that's okay. She's even showing a tiny, tiny bump, a lot earlier than Vanessa did.

Brooke pulls into the doctor's office and her and Vanessa head in. There's hardly any wait to get checked in and they are ushered back quickly. 

"Hi Brooke, Vanessa," the doctor says, entering the room, "how are you feeling, Brooke?"

They decided to go with the same doctor that delivered Avery, he was good to them. 

"Tired, but overall good."

"That's good, so let's get this show on the road shall we?"

Brooke nods and let's the doctor do his thing. 

"Looks good so far," he says, "why don't we try to get an ultrasound done?"

Brooke's heart speeds up. This is it. She gets to see her little babe.

The doctor sets up and starts poking around on Brooke's belly. 

"Hm." The doctor says, "interesting." 

"What?" Brooke asks, unable to determine from his tone if she should be concerned or not. 

"Well for one, that sounds is the heartbeats, but Vanessa I was wondering if you'd like to see before I explain it to you, see if you can figure it out."

Vanessa is confused but walks around to see the screen over the doctors shoulder. 

"What the- doc is that what I think it is?" Vanessa sounds shocked and now Brooke is starting to panic.

"What's wrong?! Vanessa, what's wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?" A few tears collected in the corners of her eyes.

Vanessa rushes back to Brooke's other side and holds her hand, and wiping away the tears with her other hand. 

"No Brookie, nothing is wrong. There's two babies." Vanessa's voice cracks, and her heart is in her throat, "twins, Brookie. We are having twins, and they both have good healthy heartbeats."

Brooke starts to sob, and she can't tell if it's from happiness or terror. Twins. Two babies. 

“Oh my god, twins?” Brooke swallows her fear down and replaces it with a smile. She knew she wanted at least three kids but how could they manage two babies and a five year old all at once? 

The doctor nods. “There’s baby one,” he points to the first, “and two.” He points to the second.

“Both have strong heartbeats and everything seems to be going well so far. Unless you guys have any questions or concerns, you’re free to go.”

Brooke’s mouth is too dry to speak so she just shakes her head and Vanessa answers for the both of them. “No questions today, doc. See you next time.”

“Very well, you can stop out front to schedule a follow up for around 12 weeks. Until then, Brooke keep taking your prenatal vitamins and have a good next few weeks.” With a smile, the doctor leaves the room, leaving the two alone.

“Brooke, are you alright?”

Brooke nods. “Yeah, I’m fine, just starting to get kinda sleepy again.”

“Okay, baby, well lets go schedule your follow-up so we can get you home.”

They schedule their appointment for exactly a month away, and Vanessa does all the talking, Brooke still too stunned to say much. Vanessa knows something’s up, but if there’s one thing she’s learned about Brooke over the years is that she shouldn’t push and prod. It was best to let Brooke open up on her own accord.

Brooke finally does when they’re about halfway home.

“Ness, what are we gonna do?” She asks, her voice small.

“About what?”

“We can’t take care of two newborns and a five year old, it-it’ll be impossible.” Her voice cracks on the end and tears stream down her cheeks.

Vanessa immediately pulls the car over and turns herself to Brooke.

“Baby, it’s gonna be okay. You’ll have me and my mom can help, she’s been talking about moving here for forever and even if she doesn’t she raised three boys and me so she’s a pro and can give us advice. And look at Avery, we did such a good job with him. I’m not saying it isn’t gonna be hard, but we can do this, I know it.”

Brooke sniffles. “You think so?”

“Brooke, I know so! We have so many wonderful people in our lives that will help us out too,okay? You aren’t alone in this,  _ we  _ aren’t alone in this.”

Brooke cracks a smile, Vanessa’s right, it will all be okay.

“Thanks, Nessa. I love you.”

Vanessa leans over the center console and presses a kiss to Brooke’s cheek. “I love you too, baby.”

Brooke puckers her lips for a proper kiss and Vanessa gladly gives it to her.

—

They decide to tell Avery after Brooke’s 12 week appointment, just to make sure everything’s still going well. By now, Brooke’s sporting the cutest little belly and they figure they better tell him before he starts asking questions.

At the appointment, the doctor tells them everything is going great and both babies are healthy. They’re relieved to hear everything’s going so well, but the nerves set in at the fact that they now had to tell Avery. He’s their baby but they had no idea how he’d react to not only one new sibling, but two. 

On the drive home, Vanessa squeezes Brooke’s hand telling her it’d all be okay. They decide they’d pick Avery up from daycare early instead of waiting. 

They both go in to his daycare to sign him out and their little man comes running for his mommies like he hasn’t seen them in forever.

“Momma! Mommy!” He yells, racing towards them and jumping into Vanessa’s waiting arms.

“Hey, bud, how was your day?”

“It was good! I drew a picture for the fridge!” He tells them excitedly, shoving a drawing in their faces. 

He points to the stick figures on the paper. “That ones me, that ones momma, and that ones mommy!”

“That’s beautiful, sweetie,” Brooke says, her eyes misty as she strokes his head, “what do you say we go get some ice cream, huh?”

The little boy claps his hands wildly at the prospect of his favorite treat. “Yay!”

"Alright, let's go, what kind do you want?" Brooke asks, reaching for Avery's hand.

"Hmm..chocolate!"

"Chocolate?! That's what I was going to get too!"

Avery giggles and it warms Vanessa's heart. She loves watching Brooke with him. 

Brooke buckles Avery in while Vanessa starts the car and once Brooke is in, she drives them to the ice cream parlor near their house. 

"You still want chocolate, little man?" Vanessa asks, unbuckling him from his seat.

"Yes mama, chocolate please!" 

"Alright, well go with mommy to find a picnic table and I'll get the ice cream."

Vanessa returns with three chocolate ice cream cones and Avery immediately digs into his, smearing it all over his face. He eats about half before he decides he's done and Brooke and Vanessa silently decide it's time to tell him. 

_ How do we tell a five year old that his life is about to be completely different? Were we selfish for this? Will he hate us for this? One baby was one thing but two- _

Vanessa's hand on hers silences Brooke Lynn's thoughts.

"Avery, mommy and I have something to talk to you about." Vanessa starts, and Avery looks at them with his big brown doe eyes.

"Avery, honey, do you know what it means to be a brother?" Brooke asks.

Avery thinks for a second, his little index finger taps his little chin, "I think so."

"What do you think it means, baby?" Vanessa asks. 

"My friend Josh has a brother and he says that he lives with them and he plays with his toys and stuff."

Vanessa sighs with relief and Brooke's eyes fill with tears. 

"Good, baby, yeah." Vanessa smiles. 

Avery's face lights up, "momma am I getting a brother?!" 

Avery's excitement is enough to make Brooke Lynn fully cry.

"Well baby, we don't know if you'll get a brother, we don't know if they're boys or girls yet. If they're girls then they will be your sisters." Vanessa explains.

"They? How many are we getting?" Avery asks, looking back and forth between his moms with a confused look on his face. 

"Two, you're going to be a big brother to two babies, little man, and they're going to look up to you and need you to help them be good, can you do that for us?" 

Avery nods enthusiastically and Brooke starts to cry even more. 

"Mommy, why are you crying? Are you hurt?"

"No baby, I'm just happy."

"Good, I'm happy too, when are the babies coming? Are they here already?"

"Well….kinda. They're in mommy's tummy right now."

"Oh." Avery thinks for a second, "how do they get in there?" 

Brooke stops crying long enough to giggle and Vanessa almost chokes on her own spit.

"Okay, okay that's enough questions baby. Are you ready to go home?" 

Avery nods and Brooke holds her hand out. 

Once they're home, Brooke decides to nap so she goes and lays down while Vanessa starts dinner. Brooke is asleep for a short while when soft whispers and tiny hands tickle her bump.

"Hi babies," she hears Avery whisper and she doesn't open her eyes just yet, "I'm Avery Samuel Mateo-Hytes, I hope you hurry up and get here so we can play!" 

Avery presses a kiss to Brooke's belly.

"Avery, what are you doin, hijo? You best not be waking your mommy up!"

Avery scrambles off the bed and runs for the door, "no, mama, I'm not I promise."

"Mmhmm.. go ahead and go wash up for dinner."

Avery runs to the hallway bathroom to wash his hands and Vanessa sits on the bed, Brooke's back to her.

"Brookie, I know you're crying again, what's wrong?"

"I'm just so happy," she sniffles, "he's going to be so good to them!"

—-

Brooke’s pregnancy had been relatively easy up until this point. She was 16 weeks now and felt awful. She was irritable and her body ached, not to mention the fact that she felt huge. She’s nearly double the size Vanessa was at this time during her pregnancy. When Vanessa was pregnant, Brooke had done everything in her power to get her to not feel so insecure, but she now understood Vanessa’s pain. Everytime she looks in the mirror she can’t help but cringe, no matter how many times Vanessa kisses away the tears rolling down her cheeks as she says over and over again how gorgeous Brooke is. It certainly didn’t help that she had to quit dancing for a while, the only exercise her doctor permitted being light yoga. She was so used to being in control of her body, it sucked to feel out of control. She craved anything and everything she would never let herself eat before, and even if her doctor allowed it, there was no way she’d be able to dance anyway. It seemed like every day she had to remind herself that the end result would be worth it.

Since Brooke had stopped working, her and Avery stayed home all day while Vanessa worked. Most of the time she loved it, but today she was having a rough day. Every little noise her son made, made her head pound even more. It had taken everything in her not to snap at him for nothing. Towards the end of the day, she really just needed a break, so she put on  _ Toy Story _ for Avery and disappeared to the bedroom for a much needed nap. 

Brooke ends up sleeping longer than she meant to because she’s being woken up by Vanessa’s gentle fingers running through her messy hair.

When she comes to her senses her eyes widen.

“Ness! I’m so sorry I fell asleep, I’ll get started on dinner now,” she says, frantic, trying to get up as smoothly as possible.

“No, no, baby,” Vanessa coos, gently pushing her back on the bed, “you don’t have to, it’s okay.”

Before Brooke can even say anything more, a sob escapes her throat. Vanessa pulls her into her lap and rocks her gently, shushing her in the process.

“What’s going on, sweetheart, tell me?”

“I-I’m just so tired and my head has hurt all day. And I feel so fat and ugly but fuck, I fucking want fries so badly and I feel bad because Avery was on my nerves all day but he didn’t even do anything.”

Vanessa gently wipes away the tears that fall from her eyes. “Hey, hey, none of that, okay? Brooke, you are so beautiful. I know exactly how you feel, I felt that way too when I was pregnant, but just know how gorgeous you are. And it’s okay that Avery was annoying you today. You’re pregnant and I know how one baby sucks the energy from you, I can’t imagine two of the little buggers. Just because you were in a bad mood doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom to him. He loves you so much, in fact when I got home he said he felt bad because mommy seemed sad.”

Brooke shrugs like she doesn’t believe what Vanessa’s telling her and Vanessa’s heart breaks for her.

“How about this, how about I take Avery out for a while so you can rest and I’ll bring you back some food from wherever you want, I’ll even get you those fries you’ve been wanting.”

Brooke shakes her head, “I shouldn’t be eating stuff like that anyway.”

“B, you eat so healthy all the time and while that’s great, you deserve a little treat once in a while. Besides, you’re eating for three.” 

Vanessa presses a kiss to Brooke’s belly and pats it gently.

“Tell your mommy that you want something other than salad for a change, babies.”

As if on cue, one of the babies squirms inside her, so much so that Vanessa can feel it from the outside.

“See! Look at that, the babies have spoken, and they want something yummy.”

Brooke cracks a smile at Vanessa’s antics. Vanessa always knew just what to say to her.

“Okay, can you get me some chicken nuggets too? And maybe some ice cream?” Her voice is soft like she’s embarrassed to ask for anything, even though she had willingly ran all over town to pick stuff up when Vanessa was pregnant.

“Of course, baby. Now, get some rest and I’ll wake you up when we get back, ok?”

Brooke nods and curls back up under the duvet.

“Thank you, V,” she whispers, fighting off a yawn.

Vanessa leans down and kisses her gently. “Anytime, sweetheart.”

—-

At 20 weeks in her pregnancy, Brooke feels like she is full term. She's constantly feeling the babies move and fight for space, which is a killer on her bladder. 

She doesn't care, though, because today they are finding out what they are having. 

It was a relatively nice day even though it was mid August. Vanessa loaded the car with the party items and Brooke buckled Avery into his seat. 

"What do you think, little man? Are you having brothers, sisters, or one of each?" Vanessa asked as she drove to the park.

"Brothers, mama, duh!" Avery said with such sass that made his moms chuckle. 

Earlier in the week, Brooke had the ultrasound to find out the sex of the babies and they had the doctor print the ultrasound to give to Kameron. Kameron decided she was going to put balloons in boxes and let the little family open the boxes together, and Brooke and Vanessa agreed because the idea was cute. 

The party was going to be small, just some close friends, their families couldn't make it, and that was okay. 

Well, their families told them they couldn't make it, but in reality they were going to surprise them. 

They arrive at the park and Avery goes to the playground with Kameron while Vanessa sets up the snacks, and Brooke ends up going to pee because  _ of course she does.  _ Vanessa is laying out the last of the plates when a voice she's not expecting to hear speaks up behind her. 

"Those cupcakes look good, mija." 

Vanessa about jumps out of her skin and turns around to face the source, almost crying when she sees her mom. 

"Mom!" She shrieks, "I didn't think you could make it " Vanessa throws herself into her mom's arms. 

"I wanted to surprise you." 

"It was a great surprise." Vanessa smiles. 

"Where is Brooke? There's a surprise for her too."

"Bathroom again," Vanessa shrugs, "two babies on the bladder does that to ya. Or so I've heard."

Vanessa is about to ask what Brooke's surprise is when she sees her parents pull up.

_ Oh, she's going to cry again.  _ Vanessa thinks to herself. 

She's been with Brooke for 8 years almost and she never has seen her cry so much. 

Brooke "waddles" (at least that's how she feels) back from the bathroom to find three people sitting with Vanessa and loving on Avery, three people she wasn't expecting.

"Mom! Dad! Alexis!" Damnit she was going to cry again, "I thought you guys couldn't make it?"

"We wanted to surprise you, dear. Look at you, you're glowing. So beautiful." Her mother smiles and hugs her, "how are you feeling?"

"A little nauseous right now. They're moving an awful lot "

"May I?" Her mother asks hopeful. 

"Of course, mom." 

Brooke takes her mom's hand and presses it to her belly where she thinks she will be able to feel it best. 

Her mom cries. "I remember the first time I felt you kick."

"Mom." Brooke almost rolls her eyes. 

"Okay, okay I'll stop." 

Brooke kisses her mom's cheek and then goes over to Vanessa. 

"Will you talk to them for a minute?" She asks. 

Vanessa nods and gets close to Brooke's belly, "hi babies," Vanessa coos, "I can't wait to find out what you are so we can give you names."

Vanessa continues to chat and talk to the babies. Brooke learned when she first started feeling movements that Vanessa's voice calmed them down, and now that the kicks are stronger, it's the  _ only  _ thing that helps. 

Everyone arrives and Kameron sets up the boxes. Vanessa picks Avery up so he can help open them and the three go stand by the first box marked Baby A. 

"Everyone ready?" Brooke calls to their friends and family, and everyone says yes, "are you ready, Ness?"

"I'm so ready, Brookie, let's do it."

Brooke, Vanessa and Avery make quick work of taking the boxes lid off and out pops bright pink balloons. 

Girl. Baby A is a girl. 

Brooke kisses Vanessa on the lips and Avery on the cheek and they move to the box marked Baby B. They open the box and are shocked to see more pink balloons. Baby B is a girl too. 

Two girls. Brooke pictures two little blonde girls in pink tutus and she is so excited. 

"Just a bit of information," Kameron starts, "I saw the ultrasound, and they're going to be identical."

Vanessa's jaw drops. If she was being completely honest, the thought of the babies being identical had never even crossed her mind.

_ I'm gonna fuck up and mix them up or somethin. _ She thinks to herself,  _ I'm gonna fuck up.  _

Like Brooke had read her mind, she squeezes Vanessa’s shoulder. “You won’t mess them up. I know you won’t.”

—-

The following weeks are  _ a lot _ for Brooke and Vanessa, but especially Brooke. She hadn’t been ordered bed rest quite yet, but the way the doctor spoke about it, she knew it would come soon and the thought made her want to curl up and die right there. She already was forced to make do without dance, but to barely be allowed to walk was a bit daunting. But luckily, she hadn’t been ordered bed rest yet, which meant she would be able to accompany Vanessa in taking Avery to his very first day of kindergarten. The day was coming fast and each day leading up to it, she saw her little man get more and more excited.

The day comes and Brooke’s already not feeling it, she had barely slept and her back was absolutely killing her. But none of that was as bad as the gut wrenching sadness she felt about sending their baby off to his first day of kindergarten. It wasn’t even for a good reason that she was sad. She definitely wasn’t worried about him, he’s so smart and one of the kindest kids she’s ever met, the reason it hurt so bad was purely selfish. Ever since she had stopped working it’s been her and Avery while Vanessa worked. Brooke knew she’d be lonely with no one else there. 

When Brooke peels herself out of bed after Vanessa, they hop in the shower together. Usually Brooke would be mortified by Vanessa seeing her naked while she looked like this, but her body ached too much to care. It was nice that she just got to stand there under the warm spray while Vanessa lathered her up and rinsed her down, kissing every inch of water slick skin that she could. 

After their shower, Vanessa helped Brooke get dressed and sat her down so she could plait her hair into two braids.

“You bein’ awfully quiet this morning, B. What’s wrong? Do you not feel well?” Vanessa asks as she gently brushed through Brooke’s damp hair.

Brooke sighs. “Same as yesterday, I guess.”

Vanessa taps her chin. “Yesterday you wasn’t moping around like this. Is it about Avery?”

Brooke shrugs, feeling guilty for being sad about something their son was so excited about.

“He’s gonna be ok, you know. He’s so smart and is great at making friends wherever he goes.”

“No,” Brooke shakes her head, “it’s not that. I know he’ll be great. I-I’m just going to miss him all day. I don’t wanna be alone.”

“Baby,” Vanessa coos, “do you want me to stay home with you today?”

Brooke shakes her head, hating to be a burden. “No, it’s alright. I’ll be fine.”

“Alright, I’ll stay home today and we can have the day to ourselves.”

Before Brooke can even protest, Vanessa’s grabbing her phone and shooting a text to her supervisor that Brooke felt sick and she was gonna stay home to take care of her. Thankfully, her boss was understanding enough.

“There,” Vanessa says pressing a kiss to the top of Brooke’s head, “we just scored a day to ourselves.”

“Thanks, Ness. I love you.”

“I love you too, Brookie. Now let’s go wake little man up for his big day!”

Vanessa claps her hands together and scampers off to their son’s bedroom. Brooke follows as fast as she can, which when you can't see your feet, it's not that fast. 

"Avery," Vanessa said softly, "time to wake up, you got school, hijo."

Avery all but jumps out of bed, he's been ready for this for weeks. As he gets ready for school he tells Brooke and Vanessa all about the things he wants to learn and how he's going to make all kinds of friends. Vanessa nods along and listens while Brooke goes to make breakfast. 

Avery is so excited that he hardly wants to eat any breakfast but Vanessa tells him he needs to finish his waffles. 

They pile in the car and Vanessa drives because Brooke can't sit comfortably behind the wheel. 

They pull up outside the school and Vanessa helps Avery out of the car. They walk halfway to the door when their little man turns around and stops, looking up at his moms with his big, brown doe eyes. 

"Why are we stopping?" Brooke asks. 

"Mama, mommy, I can walk inside by myself." Avery tries to sound as grown up as possible when he says it. 

Vanessa's heart drops.  _ What? _

"What do you mean?" Brooke asks.

"I'm a big boy, and I can walk inside by myself," he hugs Brooke and Vanessa individually and then walks towards the school, leaving them dumbfounded. 

They're silent for a second, until Vanessa starts to sniffle, and Brooke has tears running down her face. They watch Avery disappear through the doors and Brooke starts to actually sob. Vanessa isn't too far behind her. 

"Are you crying?" Brooke asks, in between sobs.

"No." Vanessa lies.

"Yes you are," Brooke sniffles, "you look stupid." She half laughs. 

"Yeah, well, so do you." 

"I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?"

"My baby is a ' _ big boy'."  _ Vanessa turns towards Brooke and buries her face in Brooke's neck, crying even harder, and Brooke half laughs half cries. 

Vanessa pulls away, her eyes as red and puffy as Brooke’s are.

“I bet we look ridiculous right now,” Vanessa laughs through her tears.

“Let’s go home and be ridiculous there,” Brooke says, giggling through her own tears.

—-

“What about this one?” Brooke asks, holding up a pale yellow paint swatch card.

Vanessa scrunches her nose. “I was thinking this one,” she says, holding a neon pink one up.

“Ness, that’s a little gaudy don’t you think?”

“This is what I would’ve wanted when I was little,” Vanessa argues.

“Well, not every little girl is a mini bratz doll.”

Vanessa barks out a laugh. “That’s true, I was full ghetto girl from Miami at 12.”

Brooke laughs. “I know, your mom has shown me the pictures. If they what they want neon pink walls when they're older, then by all means but for now maybe something a little softer on the eyes?”

Vanessa pulls out another paint swatch card, this one a soft baby pink.

“Look, this one’s even called ‘ballet slipper’.”

Brooke takes it from Vanessa and mulls it over. “I love it.”

Her eyes brim with tears, yet again. “I think this is the one, Nessa.”

Vanessa kisses Brooke’s temple. “Me too, let’s pick up a few cans so I can get your hormonal ass home before you have a full meltdown in the Home Depot.”

Brooke laughs. “Hey, let’s not forget when you were pregnant and cried at a McDonald’s because their ice cream machine was down.”

Vanessa lightly swats Brooke’s arm. “I thought we agreed to not bring that up again.”

“That’s what you said, I never agreed.”

“Well then I guess you crying over watermelon is fair game,” Vanessa teases, poking Brooke’s side with her elbow.

“Touché.”

They pick out the paint and the following Saturday, Vanessa dresses herself and Avery in matching overalls with matching bandannas and a goal to get the girls’ room painted by the end of the day. 

“You ready, big guy?” Vanessa says, high fiving Avery.

“Yes momma!”

Vanessa lays out the newspaper and tapes the edges of the walls, readying the room for them to get to work. 

She’s just about to crack open the first can when Brooke comes waddling in.

“Uh-uh, Mary. You’re gonna sit this one out,” Vanessa says, ushering Brooke out of the room.

“Why?” Brooke pouts. 

“The fumes aren’t good for the babies. Me and Avery got this, go get some rest, baby.”

Brooke pouts again. “But I wanna help.”

“You can help me by keeping the bed nice and warm because I know we’re gonna need a nap after this,” she says, jerking her thumb towards Avery, who somehow already has pink paint smeared on his cheeks.

“But I-“

“Nope, you not lifting a finger today, Brookie, I can promise you that. Now go lie down before your back starts to hurt.”

“Fine,” Brooke grumbles, “but I’m gonna bring you guys lunch later.”

Vanessa smiles and presses a kiss to Brooke’s lips. “That sounds perfect.” 

Brooke tried to lay down and relax, but she just felt restless. At 28 weeks, she just felt so uncomfortable. The babies were constantly moving and kicking. She wanted to help decorate their room but understood why Vanessa kicked her out. 

Sitting up in bed, Brooke took a look around the bedroom. It was a  _ mess.  _

"It won't hurt if I tidy up a little right?" She asks herself. 

So that's what she does. She picks up the clothes off the floor and puts Vanessa's stray makeup items away that she left out. She's just about to pick up a pair of Avery's shoes, "how did these get in here?", when pain shoots around her belly. Brooke drops to her knees, clutching her middle. The pain isn't terrible, but it's not pleasant, and after about 30 seconds it leaves as quick as it came. 

"What the fuck?" She whispers.

Brooke stands back up and sits on the edge of the bed. She sits for a second and contemplates yelling for Vanessa but she doesn't want to bother her. It was probably just a one time thing anyways. 

Except it wasn't, and it happens again about 5 minutes later, and it's worse. 

_ This can't be labor,  _ she thinks to herself,  _ it's not time, they're too little. _

Tears cloud her eyes. "Ness?!" She calls frantically, "Vanessa, come here!"

Vanessa hears her wife's frantic cries and she immediately drops what she's doing and runs to the bedroom. She sees Brooke almost doubled over sitting on the bed. 

"Brooke, what's wrong?!" Vanessa's brain is going ten miles a minute. 

"I-I don't know, one minute I'm cleaning, the next minute there's pain and-" it cuts her off, feeling like a band tightening painfully across her belly, the babies squirm so much and Brooke feels sick, "something's wrong, Ness."

Sometimes Brooke forgets that Vanessa helps deliver babies. She panics and forgets that she is in very very good hands. 

Vanessa appears calm through the whole event. She calls Kameron who rushes over to stay with a distraught Avery who's worried about his mommy, she drives them to the hospital and immediately rushes Brooke up to the maternity floor. The nurses get Brooke settled, give her meds to stop the pain, and hooked up to monitors while they wait for the doctor. 

"Good news," he says after examining Brooke, "you're not actually in labor."

Brooke let out a cry of relief, and Vanessa kissed her forehead.

"But you do need to slow down, Brooke. This isn't like a single baby pregnancy, it's taking a toll on your body and you need to rest and take it easy. We want you to carry these babies as far as you can. I know you don't want to do it, but we have put it off as long as we can. I think it's time to order-"

"Please don't say bedrest." Brooke says quietly.

"-bedrest."

"Shit." She grits her teeth. 

"I'm sorry, Brooke, but we want healthy babies don't we?"

Tears spill down her cheeks, she can't help it. But Vanessa is right there, in her face. She cradles her cheeks and wipes away the tears. 

"It's gonna be okay, love." She whispers, "healthy babies right? That's the goal."

Brooke nods, but she's still crying. She doesn't want to have to depend on anybody, but she knows it's necessary.

"Bed, to couch, bathroom and back, quick showers, and of course doctors appointments. That's it." 

Brooke nods again. 

_ Healthy babies,  _ she thinks, and she pictures two happy little girls,  _ it'll all be worth it in the end.  _

Brooke is released in the middle of the night, the doctors only letting her go when they’re sure the contractions have stopped. Vanessa drives them home, her hand never leaving Brooke’s. Brooke is still feeling teary eyed but she knows that this is the best way to go. They get home and Vanessa gets Brooke settled in bed. 

“Thanks so much for coming over, Kam,” Vanessa says, hugging her friend as she heads out.

“No problem, let me know if you guys need anything else.”

“Sounds good, thanks. Have a good night and drive safely.”

“Will do, see you at work on Monday,” Kameron says, as she shuts the door behind her.

Vanessa sighs as she turns around, Avery startling her.

“What are you doing, mister? It’s the middle of the night, you should be in bed.”

The little boy sniffles, and Vanessa rushes over to pull him into a hug and stroke his hair.

“What’s wrong, bud? Tell me.”

“Is mommy gonna be okay?”

“Yes, baby, mommy’s gonna be just fine, she’s just gonna have to stay in bed for a while. You think you can make sure she does that? She’s gotta stay in bed so your sisters can be born nice and healthy.”

The little boy smiles, his chest filling with pride. “You can count on me, momma!” He says, saluting her.

Vanessa chuckles softly. “Alright, little man, why don’t we go say goodnight to mommy so you can get to bed?”

Avery yawns, his little fists rubbing at his eyes. “Okay, momma.” 

Vanessa takes him by his hand and leads him to their bedroom, where Brooke is already curled up under the covers.

“Mommy?” Avery says tentatively as he pokes at her side.

She turns around and smiles, though Vanessa can tell she’s still fighting back tears.

“Hi baby boy, why aren’t you in bed?”

“I wanted to see if you were okay and momma said I should come say goodnight to you.”

Brooke opens her arms, their son cuddling up against her. She kisses his head gently.

“I’m okay, sweetheart, no need to worry. Now go get some sleep, yeah?”

He leans up and kisses Brooke’s cheek. “Okay. Goodnight mommy, I love you.”

“I love you too, sweet boy. Sleep well.”

He untangles himself from Brooke’s arms and follows Vanessa to his bedroom so she can tuck him in for the night.

When Vanessa comes back she quickly throws on some comfy clothes and sits in bed next to Brooke. 

“How are you doing?” She asks, combing through Brooke’s hair with her fingers.

Brooke shrugs, her lip quivering. “I don’t know, Ness.”

“Just tell me what you’re thinking then.”

“I just-I don’t want to have to rely on anyone. I’m only 28 weeks, even if I don’t carry fully to term, I still have at least 10 weeks to go and if I do carry to term it’s 12. I already feel useless and to make it worse I know if I stay in bed I’m going to blow up like a fucking balloon.”

“Baby,” Vanessa soothes, wiping away her tears for what felt like the 100th time that night, “even if you didn’t lift a finger your entire pregnancy you still wouldn’t be useless. You’re growing our little girls and that’s way more than enough. And I really don’t think you’re gonna blow up like a balloon just from staying in bed. Just keep eating healthy and you’ll be fine, yeah?”

“I guess,” Brooke mumbles, still not convinced. 

Vanessa kisses the tip of her nose. “Just get some sleep, okay? I love you.”

Brooke yawns, snuggling as close to Vanessa as her belly will allow her. “I love you too.”

Vanessa presses a last kiss to her forehead, sending Brooke out for the count.

——

The weeks tick by slowly for Brooke as her little babies continue to develop and grow, stretching her belly and kicking her bladder. 

The end of her 35th week rolls by and she sits on the couch watching a movie. Vanessa picks Avery up from school and is bombarded with new pictures for the fridge. 

"Mama?" Avery's little voice says from the backseat on the way home. 

"What's up, little man?" 

"Will the babies have names?"

"Good question, buddy, they will, but mommy and I haven't decided what they should be yet."

"Can we name one Spider-Man?"

Vanessa has to suppress a snort, "we can't name one Spider-Man buddy, Spider-Man is a boy, and the babies are girls."

"Oh," Avery sounds disappointed, then gets very excited, "hey! How about Spider-Girl then?!" 

Vanessa tries not to laugh, her son's excitement was just too cute. 

"Why don't you ask mommy when we get home? See what she says." 

"Okay!"

_ Oh, the innocence of a child,  _ Vanessa thinks to herself. 

Vanessa pulls into the driveway and Avery runs inside to find Brooke Lynn on the couch. 

"Mommy, mommy!" Avery says, climbing up on Brooke's lap, "mama said we could name one of my baby sisters Spider-girl!"

Before Brooke could react, Vanessa rushed into the room.

"No I did  _ not  _ say that, hijo, I said you needed to ask mommy to see what she said."

Brooke sighs in relief, and let's out a laugh. 

"Uh, I don't- I'm not sure what we are naming them yet, little man, mama and I need to talk about it."

She glances up at Vanessa who nods her head. 

"Hijo, why don't you go to your room and get your stuff out of your backpack? I know you have some letter pages to practice on. Vamos."

Avery nods and hops off Brooke's lap. Vanessa leans in to kiss her wife. 

"We do need to decide names, though, Brookie."

"I know, want to talk about it tonight? I’ve got a few ideas I’ve been meaning to bring up to you.”

“I’ve got a few ideas too, can’t wait to see what weird shit you’ve come up with,” Vanessa giggles.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean? Must you not forget I’m the one who came up with Avery.”

Vanessa chuckles and squeezes Brooke’s shoulder. “I know, baby, I’m just joking. But also, let’s not forget you  _ did _ suggest we name him after the cat.”

“Hey,” Brooke shrugs, “Henry is a fine name.”

“It is, but not when it’s after the cat.”

“Alright, I’ll take that I guess,” Brooke agrees.

Vanessa smiles, and kisses the top of Brooke’s head. “Good, now lemme go get dinner started , you need anything before?”

Brooke shakes her head. “No, I’m okay, thank you though.”

Vansssa nods, and heads to the kitchen to make dinner. 

Their evening routine has changed since Brooke was put on bedrest. Instead of eating at the dining room table, they sit in the living room. They eat dinner, talk about their day, and then they watch tv before Vanessa helps Avery get ready for bed and then helps Brooke. Brooke feels a rush of affection for her wife as she helps her shower and settled into bed. When Brooke is allowed up for more than five minutes at a time, she will make it up to Vanessa. 

"Ready to talk names, mami?" Vanessa asks, climbing in bed and interrupting Brooke's thoughts. 

Brooke nods, "tell me what ya got," she says.

"Well, firstly, I wanna give them our middle names," Vanessa starts, and Brooke nods in agreement, "I think it would be real cute and shit."

"Are we trying to rhyme these names? Do we want to be  _ those  _ moms?" Brooke giggles. 

Vanessa wrinkles her nose and shakes her head, "what are names that you like? Let's start with baby A."

"I always liked Clara." Brooke shrugs.

"Like from the Nutcracker?"

"It was my first ballet." Brooke explains and Vanessa grimaces, "okay, not Clara."

"Sarah?" Vanessa offers.

"There will probably be 5 other Sarah's in her class in school." 

"True," Vanessa thinks for a minute, "what about Alexandria? I always liked it."

"Your middle name or mine?" Brooke asks.

"Yours, mine would be a mouthful, and you know I ain't good with too many words."

Brooke laughs, "okay, Alexandria Lynn for baby A."

Vanessa nods, "and baby B, how about Bailey?" 

Brooke thinks, but it just doesn't stand out to her, "I don't know, what about Ellie?" 

"Uh, maybe. It's cute, put it on a maybe list?"

"Okay," Brooke nods, "there is a name that's kind of different that I've always liked."

"What is it, baby?"

"Ramey. It's uncommon, and it sounds good with Isabel."

"Ramey Isabel," Vanessa repeats, "it is different, but I love it. Ramey Isabel." Vanessa nods and leans in to kiss her wife, "Ramey and Alexandria or maybe we can figure out something for short eventually?"

Brooke nods, suppressing a yawn. Growing two babies is hard work. 

"Go to sleep, Brookie," Vanessa presses a kiss to Brooke's forehead, "goodnight."

Brooke mumbles a quick goodnight before she falls asleep. 

—-

At 3:34 am one morning half way through Brooke’s 37th week, she wakes up with pain radiating from her midsection.

“Ness,” she groans, pushing at Vanessa’s shoulder, “wake up, please.”

“Wha-? Brooke?” She mumbles, her voice gravelly with sleep.

“I think-I think- ah fuck,” she whimpers, more pain radiating from her belly.

Vanessa shoots up from bed, quickly making her way to Brooke’s side.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” she soothes, “what's going on?"

"Pain." Brooke says, through gritted teeth, gesturing to her belly.

"Oh.  _ Oh!  _ Okay, um, okay." Panic rises through Vanessa's body, "are you in labor?!" She asks, her knowledge of her career not even being processed right now.

"Aren't you the nurse?" Brooke asks, the pain subsiding.

"Shit, right, yeah, uhm okay, does it feel like the false labor pains or different?"

"Different, worse."

"Oh fuck, I think you're in labor then. Shit. Was that the first one?"

Brooke lets out a laugh because even in a situation like this, Vanessa still manages to curse like a sailor.

"Yeah, that was the first. Woke me right up."

"And it lasted, what? About 45 seconds?"

Brooke nods. 

"Okay, let's start timing them then, we can't go until they're closer together." 

Vanessa perches herself on the edge of the bed. Stroking Brooke’s hair out of her face she asks, “how are you feeling?”

“I’m just really tired,” Brooke replies, fighting off a yawn.

“Get some rest, sweetheart, I’ll be here the whole time. It seems like we’ve got awhile.”

Brooke groans, placing a hand on either side of her belly. “Can’t you guys just come out already?”

Vanessa laughs and ruffles her hair. “You’re already losing it and they ain’t even out yet. You need to sleep,” she declares.

“You’re right.” 

Brooke curls in on herself, a position she found the most comfortable in her last few weeks.

“Get some sleep."

“Mmkay,” she whispers sleepily.

Vanessa doesn’t even have time to reply before Brooke’s fast asleep, her breathing evening out.

Brooke sleeps soundly for all of 35 minutes before her stomach tightens and the pain of another contraction washes over her, instantly waking her up. Years of dancing has given Brooke a high pain tolerance but these contractions are something else entirely. Within seconds, Vanessa is in front of her, smoothing her hair and holding her hand.

"That's it, baby, just breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth. You got this Brookie, you can do it." She whispers in Brooke's ear.

Tears collect in Brooke's eyes, she's so tired and it hasn't even been an hour.

"How on earth did you work the whole day before you had Avery?" She manages to say after the contraction is over. 

"Honestly, the pain wasn't that bad until the end of the day when I went to leave." Vanessa shrugs, she was extremely lucky when she was in labor. 

"Hate you for that," Brooke groans. 

"I know, Brookie, I know." Vanessa presses a kiss to Brooke's forehead, "but I also only had one baby, you've got two little suckers in there."

Brooke tries to go back to sleep, but the babies are squirming and she just can't get comfortable.

"Ness?" She says quietly, unsure if Vanessa is back asleep or not.

"Hmm?" 

"I want a shower. Can you help me?"

Vanessa says yes and helps Brooke out of bed and to the shower. While undressing, Brooke has another contraction, coming in 27 minutes after the last. 

"The hot water will help, baby," Vanessa rubs her wifes back.

"So will drugs." Brooke says through gritted teeth. 

Vanessa chuckles, "sorry Brookie, we don't have any of those here, and if we go to the hospital they'll send us right home."

Brooke lets out a sob because  _ of course they will.  _

"Plus, I thought you wanted to have them as natural as possible?" Vanessa asked. 

"Shit...I did...I do." 

The contraction subsided and Vanessa helped Brooke in the shower. 

Brooke's labor progressed slowly. She had been having contractions for about ten hours and they were down to ten minutes apart when she feels a pop. She is sitting on the couch while Vanessa is on the phone with Brooke's mom for the tenth time. The weather is bad and she's not sure she will be able to get a flight for a few days. 

She feels a pop and fluid leaking and she thinks her water has officially broken. 

Brooke gets Vanessa's attention and waves her over to tell her. Vanessa's brain immediately goes into overdrive. With the cold, it's too cold for school so Avery is home. 

"I’m gonna call Kameron to come over and stay with Avery and we’re gonna get you to the hospital, okay? Just stay here.”

Brooke nods. 

Vanessa hurries through the house, gathering Brooke’s hospital bag, as well as the two baby bags they’d packed at the end of her 35th week. 

Kameron’s there in ten minutes and helped Vanessa usher Brooke to the car halfway through another contraction. They’re getting closer together, only by a tiny bit though, but the pain intensified through each one, and she is now at eight minutes apart.

The whole way there Brooke squeezes Vanessa’s hand in a death grip. Getting there, Vanessa checks her in and they’re being shipped off to the maternity ward immediately.

“Guess being the wife of the star maternity nurse has its perks, huh?” Brooke jokes as Vanessa wheels her through the corridor.

“Guess so,” Vanessa replies as she wheels Brooke into the biggest room in the ward.

“And I get the nicest room? Damn, I’m really living it up he-ow ow fuck,” Brooke’s jokes are cut off by another contraction rippling through her.

“Okay, miss thing, let’s get you into bed and I’ll call the nurse to let them know you’re settled.”

Vanessa helps Brooke into a gown and into the bed, pulling the covers up around her shoulders.

Moments later the doctor comes in, pulling gloves over his hands.

“Good morning ladies,” he says, sounding chirpy, “so, Brooke, it looks like you’re in labor, do you mind if I see how many centimeters you’re dilated?”

Brooke nods, too tired after her last contraction to say much.

“Alright great, let’s have a look.”

He’s quick with checking, which Brooke is glad for.

“Looks like you’re about 4 centimeters dilated.”

“How long until I’m ready to push?”

The doctor and Vanessa share a glance and both chuckle,clearly knowing something she doesn’t.

“So, your labor begins the same way it would with a single baby; with contractions and your water breaking, however, labor with twins is often significantly longer. I’m afraid you could be in labor for up to a couple more hours, unless of course you’d like to discuss cesarean.”

Brooke shakes her head. “No, I wanna have these babies the natural way.”

“Sounds like a plan, if either of you need anything just give me a holler on the call button.”

“Thank you, doc,” Vanessa says, smiling at him.

He nods and heads out of the room, leaving Vanessa and Brooke alone. 

“Vanessa,” Brooke whimpers, “seriously, how much longer? It  _ hurts _ .”

“I know, sweetheart, I know. I don’t know how much longer, but I’ll be here every step of the way, I promise.”

Vanessa holds her hand tightly, her thumb rubbing the soft skin on the back of Brooke’s hand.

“That doesn’t help!” She snaps, the look on Vanessa’s face never faltering, though Brooke still feels bad.

“I’m sorry, I’m just-“

Vanessa hushes her softly. “No need to apologize. I couldn’t even count how many times I snapped at you when I was in labor. And plus I’m pretty sure I was meaner during my pregnancy. All you did was sleep and cry.”

“I guess. Just yell at me if I get too mean, okay? I don’t want the babies first impression of me to be me screaming and being a bitch.”

Vanessa laughs. “Sure thing, baby.”

“Seriously though, can I at least get an estimate on how much more time? You see shit like this all the time you’ve gotta at least have a rough idea.”

Vanessa sucks in a breath. “Listen Brooke, I really don’t know. Every woman is different during labor, i've seen women come in dilated at 4 like you, and be done in a couple hours, but I’ve also seen people come in and be in labor for more than 24 hours. We really just have to wait it out. I wish I could do more.”

Brooke reluctantly nods.

"You really should try to rest though." Vanessa pushes Brooke's hair out of her face.

"I don't think I can."

Their conversation is cut short by a nurse entering the room. 

"I'm Scarlet, I'll be your- oh, hi Vanessa! Brooke!"

"Hi Scarlet." Vanessa smiles.

"Just checking to see if you guys need anything."

They both shake their heads and Scarlet leaves. Brooke lets out a whine as another contraction comes, two minutes sooner than the last, making them six minutes apart. 

They stay like this for about an hour and Brooke is exhausted. 

This is when the fear hits. This is when Brooke realizes she has no clue what she is doing. What if she can't do this? What if they have to do a cesarean anyways? The thought terrifies her. 

Her thoughts are cut off by Scarlet coming back into the room.

"Brooke, sorry to bother, but Dr. Adams wanted me to check to see how far dilated you are."

Brooke nods and let's Scarlet do her thing. 

"Alright, looks like you're up to eight now." Scarlet charts it in the computer and then leaves them alone again. 

Brooke rests her head back, sighs, and closes her eyes. 

"What's goin through your pretty head, blondie?" 

"Ness…." Brooke starts softly, "what if I can't do this? I don't know what I'm doing."

"Baby, raising two babies will be just like raising one, just with extra diapers and louder cries." Vanessa kisses her wife's forehead. 

"That's not what I meant. I don't know anything about this. I don't know what to do."

"Sweetheart, your body does. You just gotta listen to it. It's all instinct." 

The all too familiar tightening creeps up across Brooke's belly, stronger and more painful than the last one, causing Brooke to clutch her abdomen and cry out. The contractions completely skipped five minutes and went straight to four, lasting for a full minute. 

"Son of a  _ bitch!"  _ Brooke grits her teeth and grips Vanessa's hand tightly. 

"It's okay, baby, just breathe."

"I  _ am  _ breathing damnit!" Brooke snaps, Vanessa suppresses a chuckle. 

She knows Brooke means no malice, and as soon as the contraction is over, Brooke is whispering her apologies in between tears. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Vanessa soothes, rubbing slow circles on Brooke’s back. 

“It’s not! I’m so tired and it  _ hurts _ , Ness. It hurts so badly.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry you’re uncomfortable. You’re so close, though. You’re at 8 now, it’s only a matter of time before you’re at 10.”

Brooke nods, putting on a strong face. “Okay, I can do this. I can do this.”

Vanessa kisses her forehead gently. “That’s right, Brookie, you’ve got this.”

Her strong expression quickly dissipated when another painful contraction rips across her belly. She lets out an agonized scream and Vanessa’s heart breaks. Her labor had been so easy and while it  _ hurt _ , she didn’t think her pain was comparable to what Brooke was experiencing now.

Vanessa continues to whisper soft words into her ear, the blonde clinging onto her for dear life as the contraction passes.

“Ness, I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt this badly. Please get the doctor, I think somethings wrong,” she pants, her breath coming out in short gasps.

“Baby, nothing is wrong, I promise. You’re doing so good, I know it hurts but it won’t be for much longer.” 

Brooke lets out a loud sob and buries her face in Vanessa’s hair.

-

An hour and too many contractions later, Dr. Adams knocks softly on the door and peeks his head in.

“May I come in?”

Vanessa nods, gesturing for him to come on in.

“How are you feeling, Brooke?” He asks, studying his clipboard before looking at her in all her disheveled glory. 

Brooke only looks to Vanessa so she could answer for her. 

“Doc, I’mma be honest with ya, she’s not doin’ too great. We’re ready to get this over with.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Brooke. I see an hour ago you were at 8 centimeters, do you mind if I check again?”

“No,” Brooke squeaks, her voice hoarse from yelling throughout her last few contractions.”

“Great, if you’re at 10 we can start right away. If you’re not at 10 would you like to discuss cesarean?”

Brooke shrugs, cesarean hadn’t necessarily been her go to plan, but she just wanted it over with. “Okay,” she agrees.

The doctor checks her quickly and comes up with good news. 

“So, good news, you’re finally at 10.”

Brooke breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

Dr. Adams chuckles. “Alright, I’m gonna gather the rest of the team and we can get started.”

“Thank you,” Brooke says sincerely.

“My pleasure, I’ll be back momentarily.”

The doctor leaves the room and Brooke turns to Vanessa.

“We’re gonna meet them soon,” Brooke says, in awe.

Vanessa kisses the tip of her nose. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

Vanessa presses her forehead against Brooke’s, pulling away when the doctor and a team of nurses come back into the room.

Brooke’s favorite thing about the doctor and the team is how quick they get things done. She never liked waiting. In seconds, it seems, the team is all scrubbed in, materials prepared, and ready to go. 

One of the nurses, Scarlet, Brooke thinks, helps her situate her feet into the cold metal stirrups and administers a low dose of epidural, as Brooke had requested. 

“Alright, Brooke, when you feel a contraction coming on, push. Push as hard as you can.”

Like it was planned by a higher power, as soon as he finishes talking, her belly tightens and she feels the need to push. With Vanessa’s hand in a bone-crushing death grip, Brooke pushes as hard as she can until the contraction passes. She finds it difficult to catch her breath before the next contraction comes. Her breath comes out in short puffs, even as Vanessa rubs her back soothingly. 

“She’s crowning,” one of the nurses notes out loud.

“Okay, a few more pushes.”

The next contraction is more painful than anything she’s ever experienced, but she pushes through it, quite literally. 

Two more contractions and four more pushes and one baby is out, her tiny little screams filling the room.

Vanessa presses kiss after kiss to Brooke’s sweaty forehead. “She’s so beautiful, baby, you did so good. One more to go.”

Brooke finds that delivering the second is easier, even though she’s so tired she feels like she’d collapse if she stood up. It only takes a few more pushes before their second daughter is out and filling the room with her screams as well.

The nurses clean the girls up and do a quick examination. After determining them healthy and wrapping them in soft pink blankets, they’re handed off to their mommy, one baby in each of Brooke’s arms.

“Hi, angels,” she whispers, a few tears hitting Alexandria on the cheek. Vanessa’s standing over them, tears falling down her cheeks as well.

“Hi babies, we’re your mommies,” Vanessa coos at them as they sleep soundly against Brooke’s chest.

“You did it, Brookie. I’m so proud of you.”

Brooke’s eyes are tired but they still shine with love. “Thank you, Nessa. I couldn’t have done it without you. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll watch over them.”

Brooke nods, passing Ramey and Alexandria off to Vanessa to put in the hospital cribs to the side of Brooke’s bed.

Vanessa kisses Brooke’s forehead again as her wife falls into a peaceful sleep. Vanessa stands over her sleeping daughters and vows to protect them, and her wife and son, forever and ever. 


	16. after all this time, I’m still into you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first few weeks as a family of five

Caring for two newborns was exhausting and Brooke hadn't even left the hospital yet. She was tired, sore, and every ounce of modesty was gone as all of her private body parts had been on display for the last 24 hours. 

Brooke laid in the bed, Ramey sleeping on her chest while Vanessa sat on the sofa with a wide awake Alexandria.

"I told Kameron that she could bring Avery in this afternoon if that's okay."

"I'm not getting out this evening?" Brooke asks, unsure if anyone said anything or not. 

"No, they'll probably keep you another day, make sure everything is all good."

Brooke nods, "okay. Yeah, that's fine."

She was excited to introduce Avery to the twins, couldn't wait to see his reaction. 

The babies had just finished eating when there was a soft knock on the door. Brooke called them in while Vanessa put the babies in their cribs. The door opened and Avery ran in, so excited to see his moms. Vanessa lifted him up in a big hug. 

"Hey little man," she says, "you been good for Kameron?" 

"Yeah, mama! Been real good, we watched a lot of tv!"

Vanessa laughs and looks at Kameron who nods. She gives the little boy another squeeze before setting him in Brooke lap, he instantly starts talking her ear off about the movie he and Kameron watched the night before. 

Kameron wanders over towards the babies.

"Which one’s which?" She asks. 

"Purple cap is Ramey, pink cap is Alexandria."

"Wow, they really are identical. You haven't mixed them up yet?" 

"Don't joke about that, it's a legiti- legito- it's an actual fear." Vanessa lets out a nervous laugh.

"Mommy, are the babies out of your tummy yet?" Vanessa hears Avery ask. 

"Yeah, buddy, they're laying down over there where mama is." Brooke points to the darker side of the room. 

Avery climbs down from the bed and bounces over to Vanessa, "mama can the babies play with me?"

"Not yet, little man. They're still brand new. They need a lot of sleep." Vanessa picks him up so he can get a good look at the babies, and he is interested for all of a minute before he starts squirming and Vanessa sets him down. 

Brooke and the babies spend another day in the hospital, long enough to make sure the babies are okay, before they are released. Brooke's anxiety is going wild but she knows that Vanessa is there if anything goes wrong. Vanessa has the knowledge. 

The first few weeks as a family of five is an adjustment. Avery thinks the babies cry too much, and at 3 a.m, when Vanessa has hardly slept and she has to help Brooke feed them, she agrees, but only for a minute. 

Brooke decided not to breastfeed. With two babies, she feels like it would be easier this way, that way Vanessa could pitch in. 

Vanessa starts back at work when the babies are four weeks old, leaving a not-so-confident Brooke at home. She made sure to text and call and make sure her wife was okay. The longer Brooke was alone, though, the more confident she felt. She and the girls got into a routine easily, which helped. 

Vanessa walks through the door on the evening of her first day back, Avery in his room doing his homework, and Brooke has the babies laying on the floor for tummy time, which they hate. 

"Hi Brookie," Vanessa smiles, leaning down to kiss her wife.

A kiss that started simple but slowly escalated, until Vanessa pulls away. 

"Brooke," she warns, knowing what her wife wants, "two weeks." She says. 

Brooke groans, knowing that Vanessa is right. 

"How were my girls today?" Vanessa asks. 

"Good, Lex ate like a champ and Ramey napped hard."

"Explains why she's so alert right now." Vanessa laughs. 

She has to admit, telling them apart was a lot easier than she thought. Yes they were identical but there were slight differences. 

"How far into tummy time are we?" Vanessa sits on the floor.

"Just about done," Brooke says checking her phone timer, "another minute."

Thirty seconds until the timer goes off and the babies start to cry, almost on cue. So Vanessa picks up one and Brooke picks up the other, the babies quieting down when in the familiarity of their moms' arms. 

"Mama!" Avery calls, running down the stairs.

"Hey little man, how was school today?"

"It was good. Mama, can I bring the babies in for show and tell? Please?" 

"Buddy, they're still really small, they could get sick. We can give you pictures to take in? Would that be okay?" Brooke asks. 

Avery looks like his little heart is crushed by Brooke's words as he shrugs, "I guess so." 

"Here," Vanessa says, "I'll tell you what, why don't you help mommy and I by feeding Lex her bottle?" 

Avery's eyes light up, happy to hold his baby sister and help his moms out. 

Phew, Brooke thinks, crisis averted. 

The sight of Avery with little Alexandria in his lap makes Brooke nearly keel over with the amount of love that floods her chest. For only five years old, he’s so good with them. He knows to speak quietly around them and his touches are soft and tentative. Brooke can’t think of a better brother for the little girls. 

Two weeks later, Avery is on spring break and he’s off from school. To help Brooke out, Vanessa takes the whole week off of work, which Brooke is eternally grateful for. A 6 year old and two 6 week olds is not easy for two people, let alone one who just gave birth to said six week olds. 

On Thursday, Vanessa had taken Avery and a friend to the amusement park for the entire day. While Brooke had missed them, it felt nice to be back with just the girls for the day. Though, she couldn’t wait for when they were old enough so that they could join in on the fun. 

Vanessa doesn’t get back until almost 8 at night, a tired Avery slung over her shoulder as she walks up the driveway. Brooke can see them from the window, so she rushes out to help Vanessa, taking the sleeping boy from her.

“Thank you,” Vanessa whispers, as to not wake him.

Brooke nods and carries him inside. 

He only stirs a little as they undress him just to dress him back up in his favorite Spider-Man PJs.

“Goodnight baby boy,” Brooke whispers, her and Vanessa taking turns kissing his forehead. 

Once his door is shut, Vanessa turns to Brooke and breathes out a deep sigh.

“How was your day?” Brooke asks, amused. Only Vanessa would be brave enough to take two six year old boys to an amusement park by herself.

“It was great, really, but damn these kids have tired me out. I must be getting old. How were the girls?”

Brooke shrugs, “they were good, kept schedule pretty good. They’re fast asleep right now.”

Brooke and Vanessa are walking hand and hand down the corridor to their bedroom when Brooke’s last few words hit them.

“Brooke, did you just say the girls are fast asleep?”

Brooke pulls her phone out and checks the nanny cam to make sure, but sure enough both girls are sleeping soundly.

“Ness, all three kids are asleep,” Brooke says as if it’s the craziest thing to ever happen.

“And it’s your six week mark,” Vanessa points out.

Brooke’s eyes go wide as the realization hits her.

“Fuck, you’re right.”

Vanessa doesn’t have time to say anything before Brooke’s pulling her to the bedroom by her wrist. The door barely clicks shut before Brooke leans in and closes the distance between them. It’s been so long that their kisses start off needy and passionate from the get go.

“We don’t have long,” Brooke pants, pulling away for a moment, Vanessa’s lips chasing hers.

“Mm Ness, hold on. The girls will be up in half an hour to eat, we’ve got to hurry.”

“Okay, okay. Undress.”

Brooke bites her lip as she toys with the hem of her shirt. Half of her thinks that Vanessa will still love her even if her body wasn’t perfect anymore, but unfortunately the part of her that’s a little louder tells her that Vanessa wouldn’t love her anymore if she was anything less than perfect. 

Even though Vanessa’s got her own shirt halfway over her head, she can still sense Brooke’s insecurity and hesitation. 

“Baby, if you don’t wanna take your shirt off you don’t have to.”

Brooke nods and pulls her t-shirt back down, much to Vanessa’s dismay, but all that really mattered was that Brooke was comfortable. Vanessa swears she’d be beautiful no matter what, but Brooke can’t help but feel insecure about the little bit of baby weight she still hasn’t lost and the little pink stretch marks that circle around her navel.

If they had more time, Vanessa would lay her down and kiss everywhere she felt insecure about. And she’d do it for hours, or at least until Brooke believed that she was the most beautiful woman Vanessa had ever seen. But they could save that for when they had hours to turn their unwavering attention to each other.

Vanessa stands there, stripped down to her underwear while Brooke wears her shirt and panties. Vanessa pulls her close, her hands splayed across Brooke’s back underneath the soft cotton t-shirt.

Vanessa stands on her tip-toes to whisper in Brooke’s ear. “You’re so beautiful, baby, I wish you could see that.”

Brooke shakes her head slightly, Vanessa retaliating by taking her face in her hands and kissing her softly.

“Yes, you are,” Vanessa turns them around and backs Brooke up onto the bed, “so fucking beautiful.”

Vanessa kisses and sucks her neck, leaving Brooke panting and squirming. It felt so long since the last time they’d had sex that everything felt heightened and new, but still familiar in all the best ways. 

Brooke whimpers when Vanessa palms her tit, kneading the soft and sensitive flesh. She had never had sensitive tits until she got pregnant, and now as Vanessa rolls a puckered nipple in between her fingers, even through the fabric of Brooke’s shirt, she can’t help but let out soft gasps of pleasure.

“Ness,” Brooke whines, her body wiggling underneath Vanessa.

“Shh, sweetheart, I’ve got you.”

Vanessa quiets Brooke’s whimpers by kissing her deeply, nibbling on Brooke’s lower lip. As they kiss, Vanessa sneaks a hand in between Brooke’s spread legs, massaging her slowly through her panties. She applies just enough pressure to make Brooke gasp in delight but not enough to make her squirm. 

“Baby, you’re so wet,” Vanessa coos.

“Just-just touch me, please.”

Maybe if it hadn’t been so damn long Vanessa would’ve held out, would’ve worked Brooke up a little bit more, but between Brooke’s sharp gasps every time Vanessa lays a finger on her and their time constraints, she gives in to Brooke’s pleas. 

“Why don’t you take your panties off, baby?”

Brooke nods, unable to find the words. She lifts her hips up and slides her damp underwear off, kicking them across the room. 

“There we go. You look so pretty like this, I almost forgot how pretty you are like this,” Vanessa whispers, stroking Brooke’s flushed cheeks.

“Just-please, Ness.”

Vanessa chuckles low in her throat. “How do you want me, baby? My mouth, my fingers, I could rub you out?”

Brooke lets out a whimpering moan. “Your fingers.”

Vanessa leans down to place a string of hot open-mouthed kisses down Brooke’s elegant neck.

“Anything for you,” Vanessa says, her fingers dancing over the sliver of skin on Brooke’s hipbone where her shirt had ridden up.

As she kisses every inch of bare skin, Vanessa’s hand wandered, just shy of where Brooke wanted her. 

“Vanessa, please, we’re running out of time.”

Vanessa silences her by running a finger up Brooke’s center, the blonde arching her back off the bed. 

“Hush, I’ve got you, angel,” Vanessa purrs, circling a finger at Brooke’s entrance. She gently pushes inside, watching her wife’s face for any discomfort.

“Does that feel okay, baby? Does it hurt?”

Brooke grips the sheets and shakes her head. “No, no it feels fine.”

Vanessa smirks. “How about a second then?”

“Yes, please.”

Vanessa hums lowly and pushes two fingers inside, Brooke’s warm wet heat squeezing around her.

“How’s that? Okay?”

“Mm more than okay,” Brooke muses, her body shaky with pleasure. 

Vanessa begins by slowly pumping in and out, leaving Brooke gripping the sheets.

“ _More, harder,_ ” Brooke whines, chasing her pleasure.

Vanessa obliges, slowly but steadily gaining momentum, each thrust a little harder than the last. It’s when she crooks her fingers, hitting Brooke’s spot just right every time , when Brooke’s thighs shake and her eyes roll in the back of her head.

“Ness, Nessa, I’m gonna- I need to-“

Vanessa leans down and kisses her, while never stopping or slowing down her thrusts. They kiss messily while Vanessa languidly rubs Brooke’s spot inside her until her body goes rigid as she comes on Vanessa’s fingers with a quiet whine.

Vanessa fucks her through it gently, not wanting her to get too sensitive, pulling out when Brooke relaxes besides her heaving chest.

“How do you feel, Brookie?”

Brooke leans into Vanessa’s touches. “Feel good. Thank you, Nessa.”

Vanessa kisses her forehead and just as she gets comfy, the baby monitor lights up red and emits a crackling sound as the girls begin to cry.

“Ugh, already,” Brooke groans, “I didn’t even get to touch you.”

Vanessa chuckles, kissing the pout off her face. “Let’s get dressed and get them fed and then we could get back to it, yeah?”

Brooke nods eagerly, bounding off the bed to pull on some sweatpants.

“I’ll go make the bottles, will you go calm them down before they wake Avery?”

Vanessa nods as she pulls on a pair of leggings and one of Brooke’s sweatshirts.

“See you in a minute, baby, I’ll miss you,” Vanessa jokes, leaning in to kiss Brooke’s cheek before they both head down the hallway in opposite ways


	17. The Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its here! This is the last chapter, and I'm sorry if it's half assed. 
> 
> Thank you everyone who read this along with us. We appreciate your support.

"Brooke Lynn!" Vanessa yelled from the other side of the bathroom door, "are you crying in there?! You best not be crying in there."

Brooke stays silent for a minute because  _ how does she know?!  _ But then she realizes that all she has done this week is cry. If she was in a heterosexual relationship, then she would worry that she was pregnant, but she's not, so she knows that's not the case.

No, she's not pregnant, but she is about to be the mommy of twin one year old girls, and  _ that  _ is what's causing her emotions to be wild. 

"No!" She finally answers, trying to suppress a sniffle. 

"Brookie, you're a terrible liar. I know you're crying. I can hear it in your voice." 

Brooke rolls her eyes and opens the door. 

"Like you didn't cry the whole day of Avery's first birthday."

Vanessa suppresses a chuckle, she knows Brooke is right.

The first year for the twins was a lot different than the first year for Avery. They developed faster it seemed.

Ramey was the first to start crawling. She was around 8 months, whereas Avery was almost 10 months when he started crawling, and Lex didn't start until almost 9 months. Lex was the first to walk, though. She was 10 and half months when she took her first steps, leaving Ramey in the dust. Ramey caught up and half a month later, she was walking too. 

The girls were dressed in matching onesies and tutus. That's been one of Brooke's favorite parts of having twin girls is the clothes. 

Vanessa loved that the girls looked just like Brooke. Blonde hair, wide blue eyes, and the sweetest little rosy cheeks. And not to mention their little giggles that filled both Brooke and Vanessa with immense love every time. 

They had decided to keep the party small, like they had with Avery’s first. When they started school there’d be plenty of time for big, extravagant parties.

Vanessa’s mother and her brothers showed up half an hour early, toting two big gift boxes and plenty of hugs and kisses to go around. Brooke’s parents showed up next, smiling at the two little girls in their daughter’s arms. After that, came a few of Brooke and Vanessa’s close friends and one of Avery’s friends and his mother. 

They had also decided to keep the party lowkey, remembering the awful party games they’d tried when Avery turned one. While Avery and his friend were off in his room entertaining themselves, the adults talked amongst themselves, everyone passing Ramey and Alexandria around to shower both girls in birthday love. 

Brooke watched with so much love in her heart as her own mother and Vanessa each bounced a baby girl on their hips while they engaged in an animated conversation, smiles evident on everyone’s faces. She’s so focused on watching everyone have a good time, she barely notices Vanessa come up behind her and wrap her arms around Brooke’s middle.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She says, pressing a kiss to Brooke’s cheek.

Brooke turns over in her arms and leans down for a proper kiss. “I just can’t believe this is my life. I never thought I’d get married and then I met you and you changed that. Then I never thought I’d be a mother and now we’ve got three beautiful kids and I couldn’t be more happy. I just love you and the kids. I love my life, Ness.”

Tears well in Vanessa’s eyes as she strokes Brooke’s cheek. “I love our life too, baby. Love you so much. Let’s do cake and presents so we can send everyone home and have the night to ourselves, yeah?”

Brooke nods, wiping away tears of her own. “Sounds like a plan.”

Like they’d planned, Brooke took out the cake, pretty and pink, with strawberries on the inside. Both Brooke and Vanessa can’t help the overwhelming feeling of happiness and contentment as they watch their families and friends sing to their baby girls. The girls babble excitedly as they shove cake into their mouths and all over each other while Brooke happily snaps pictures of every moment. 

When the cake is gone and the girls are due for a bath, they bid goodbye to their families and friends, thanking them for everything. Once everyone’s gone, Vanessa takes Ramey and Brooke takes Alexandria for their much needed bath. 

Later that night when the sun’s down and everything’s done for the night, the little family of five curl up on the couch for a movie night. By the end, Avery’s in Vanessa’s lap, both of them sleeping soundly. 

“Ness, wake up,” Brooke whispers, shaking her wife’s shoulder slightly.

“Huh? Wha-?”

“Let’s get the kids to bed so we can get some sleep.”

Vanessa blinks the sleep from her eyes as she comes to her senses, noticing Avery sleeping in her lap and the girls asleep against Brooke’s chest. 

“Okay, you got the girls if I get Avery?”

Brooke nods, slowly pushing herself up while being careful not to wake the babies while Vanessa does the same with Avery. 

Both of them make quick work of tucking in the kids so they can fall into bed together.

“The girls stay asleep while you tucked them in?”

“Yeah, “ Brooke says fondly as she climbs under the covers, “both of them out like a light. What about Avery?”

“Same, he didn’t even flinch when I put him down,” Vanessa replies, fighting off a yawn.

“Good. Everyone’s all tuckered out, including us.”

Vanessa chuckles, settling herself against Brooke. “Maybe if we weren’t so old and tired we would be having sex right now.”

Brooke laughs and kisses the crown of Vanessa’s head. “We could, you know.”

Vanessa yawns again. “Not a chance, blondie.”

“Just as I thought,” Brooke teases, “get some sleep, baby. Maybe if you wake up early enough we can have some fun in the morning,hmm?”

Vanessa giggles playfully. “Now that’s more like it.”

With one last kiss goodnight, both girls cuddle up together and fall asleep to the sound of each other’s breathing. 

~*~

Avery was almost 9 years old when Brooke and Vanessa experienced a  _ different  _ kind of heartbreak. 

Brooke was home when Avery got off the bus from school, and his expression was-  _ weird.  _

"Hey, little man, you ok?" 

Avery nods but stays quiet, and instead of doing his homework in the living room he sulks off to his bedroom and shuts the door. 

Brooke is concerned, he is normally very bubbly and animated, just like his mama. She decides not to press it, though, and waits for Vanessa to get home. Brooke hangs out in the kitchen with the twins while she makes dinner. 

"Hello, hello, hello!" Vanessa calls from the foyer 

The girls hop down from their places at the table to run and greet their mama both start talking animatedly about their day- at the same time- and Vanessa can only nod and smile.

"Girls, why don't you go take your toys to your room before dinner while I have a talk with mama?"

The twins nod and run off to the bedroom.

"Uh oh, mami, am I in trouble?" Vanessa half jokes, standing up straight. 

"Something is going on with Avery. He was quiet when he got off the bus and went straight to his room."

"That's not like him." Vanessa says. 

"I know. I thought we could go talk to him together." 

Vanessa nods and they hurry up the stairs to Avery's room. 

"Hey little man," Vanessa says softly, opening the door, "can mommy and I come in?"

Avery lets out a quiet  _ yes  _ and his moms know something is really bothering him. He turns around in his desk chair while Brooke sits on his bed and Vanessa kneels next to him.

"Somethin botherin you, baby?" Vanessa asks, smoothing out Avery's crazy hair. 

He's quiet for a moment, looking at the floor. 

"Why don't I have a dad?" He asks softly. 

Vanessa and Brooke exchange looks, they knew that one of the kids would ask this someday, but they never thought about what they'd actually say. 

"What's got you askin this?" Vanessa says. 

"One of the kids at school told me that I was a weirdo because I had two mommies and my family wasn't normal because I don't have a dad."

"Well, buddy, people think it's normal for people to have a mommy and a daddy, but sometimes people have two mommies, and sometimes people have two daddies, and that's okay. Some people only have one mommy or one daddy, and that's okay too. There are different types of families all over the world." Brooke explains, and Avery nods slowly. 

Avery was clearly hurt by his classmate's assumptions, and seeing such pain in their son's eyes hurt Vanessa's heart.

"Baby, all that matters is that you have parents who love you, and mommy and I love you so, so much, little man." Vanessa places a kiss on the top of her son's head and he perks up a little bit.

"Don't let their words hurt you, baby, we know it's hard sometimes but we will always be here to help you ok?" Brooke gives her son a soft smile.

"Okay, mommy."

With perfect timing, there was a loud crash from the twins' bathroom.

"Cmon, kiddo, let's go have dinner. You go to the kitchen with mama and I'll go get your sisters before they destroy our whole house." Brooke laughs. 

~*~

"Avery! Get your shoes on, we gotta get you to school." Brooke called up the stairs to her son who was taking his sweet time getting ready, "Avery! I have an appointment!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Avery bounds down the stairs throwing his backpack on, "the twins get to stay home, why can't I?"

"Because the twins are sick so they're staying home with mama."

"I'm sick too then."

Brooke smirked, he was so stubborn like Vanessa, "are you though?"

Avery thought for a moment, "no, I guess I'm not." 

He hung his head and Brooke suppressed a chuckle. 

Brooke kissed Vanessa goodbye and drove Avery to the bus stop. Once he was safely on the bus, Brooke drove onto the doctor's office. It was time for her  _ lady  _ checkup, she rolled her eyes as she thought about it. 

She's always been exceptionally healthy, so this was just a formality. She arrives at the doctor's office and gets checked in. Luckily, it wasn't very busy and they got her right back. It was so unpleasant, Brooke always dreaded going to the gynecologist, but what woman didn't?

Before Brooke could get dressed after her exam, the doctor told her that she wanted to do a breast exam. Brooke sat there, allowing the doctor to do what she needed to do, telling herself it'll be over in a moment. Something isn't right though. It's never taken this long. 

"Brooke, have you been having any discomfort? Pain? In the breast?" The doctor asked. 

Brooke thinks for a minute, but ultimately, no she hasn't. She says this, and the doctor nods but keeps up the exam, which is causing anxiety on Brooke's end. 

"Do you do self exams at home?"

Again, Brooke says no.

"Brooke, I don't want to alarm you, but there seems to be a mass in your left breast."

Brooke stares at her, suddenly feeling like she's underwater. It doesn't make sense. 

_ Don't be alarmed.  _

_ A mass. _

_ Left breast. _

The words are foreign. 

"Wait, what?" Brooke asks, realizing the doctor is still talking and she has no idea what's been said. 

"I said we can't know for sure if it's cancer without testing. I'm going to set up a referral with oncology and we can go from there."

"Can I- where is it?" 

Brooke raises her hand like she's going to try to feel for it but stops, realizing she doesn't even know what she's feeling for.

The doctor takes her hand and places it where she can feel. Chills run down her spine as she feels a ping pong sized lump. 

"Brooke, like I said, we can't know what it is for sure until we do some tests, it could be nothing, but judging by the size, and how it feels, I want you to prepare that it could be more than just a cyst. Go ahead and get dressed and I'll get your referrals sent in. You can check out upfront and the oncologist will call you within a few days."

Brooke nods and slides off the table. 

"If you have any questions at all, feel free to call us."

Brooke nods again and the doctor leaves her with an encouraging smile. 

Brooke dresses, checks out, and drives home all in a daze, her mind racing. 

_ What if it's cancer? _

_ What will happen? _

_ Will I die? _

_ Will they cut my breasts off? _

_ What if I do die? _

_ I'll be leaving Vanessa alone with our kids.  _

Brooke pulls into the driveway, puts the car in park, and the tears spill over. She cried for a few minutes, or maybe 15, she couldn't be sure. She stopped crying, wiped her eyes and put on a brave face and went inside. 

"Hey baby," Vanessa smiled, greeting her with a kiss.

"Hey Ness, how are the girls?" 

"Good, they asleep. Ramey's fever broke about half an hour ago but Lex's is still goin strong, poor thing."

Brooke nodded.

"What's wrong, Brookie?" Vanessa was concerned, "did your appointment go ok?"

Brooke tried not to break down again, she didn't know how she was going to tell Vanessa what the doctor said, she was afraid to say it out loud. She was unsuccessful as the tears pooled in her eyes.

"Brooke, you're scarin me, what's goin on?"

Brooke cave's and tells Vansssa about the mass and the referral and everything the doctor said, and Vanessa wishes she would have gone with her.

Vanessa's heart breaks, she feels like shit.

"Brookie," Vanessa soothes, pulling her wife in for a hug and stroking her hair. 

Vanessa put up a strong face, but inside she was terrified. She didn't want to worry Brooke, but they sat and Vanessa let her cry. 

"You're so strong, Brookie, so brave. You'll get through this. Did they say when they'd call?"

"A few days maybe." Brooke sniffles and as if on cue it's the oncology office, calling to set up her testing for the following week.

Vanessa takes the day off work so she can accompany her wife. The girls aren't sick so they go back to school. 

"I'm scared, Vanessa," Brooke Lynn says for what feels like the hundredth time when they pull into the parking lot.

"I know baby, it's going to be okay. You're going to get through this. I'll be here the whole time."

Brooke had to have ultrasounds and finally a biopsy to see if the cells were cancer. That was going to take the longest to get results, they said they'd have to wait around 3-10 days. The biopsy itself didn't take long at all, and Brooke was home a few hours later. 

Brooke was so thankful for her wife. Vanessa had been so strong, and if she was scared, she didn't show it.

Vanessa was scared though, she was so scared. The thought of losing the love of her life made her absolutely sick. After all they had been through, what if this was how it ended. Vanessa prayed silently for a miracle.

It was day five post-biopsy, they still hadn't gotten the results. Brooke was walking in from work when she heard Vanessa talking in between heavy sobs. 

"I can't lose her, mom," Vanessa sat at the kitchen table on the phone, "I just- I can't."

Brooke tried not to eavesdrop, what she had already heard broke her heart. 

"Ma, what if she is really sick? What if I lose her? How am I going to be able to raise these kids on my own? How can I live without her? …… yes I know you raised three kids alone ….. and you did a damn good job at it …….. I'm not you, ma, I'm just not that strong." Vanessa's voice broke on the last word, more tears forcing out.

Brooke's heart was heavy. The words her wife said, the sadness in her voice, it stuck in Brooke's head. 

Brooke walked into the kitchen, and softly tapped Vanessa on the shoulder, careful not to startle her. 

"Ma, I gotta go, ok ….. ok …… alright I love you too …. Bye." Vanessa hung up and turned to look at the blonde, "you were listening weren't you?"

Brooke looks down and nods, Vanessa sniffles in response, her strong exterior dropping for a moment as the tears fell.

"I'm sorry, I was trying to be strong for you but I'm so scared."

Vanessa wraps her arms around the taller girl's waist and buries her face in her neck.

"I'm scared too, Ness." She kisses the top of her head, "I'm scared too."

That night, after the kids are tucked into bed, Vanessa and Brooke lie in bed on their sides, facing each other, studying the other girls face.

"What are you thinking?" Vanessa asks.

"I love you," Brooke replies. Vanessa smiles, "what are you thinking?"

Vanessa hesitates a moment, "I wanna marry you again." She whispers.

For a moment, Brooke is taken aback.

"Huh?" She says.

"I wanna renew our vows, blondie."

Brooke thinks for a minute. Is Vanessa serious? Brooke could possibly be dying, and Vanessa wants to marry her all over again. 

Before Brooke can say anything, Vanessa gets up and crosses the room to Brooke's jewelry box. She pulls out Brooke's engagement ring, she's only been wearing her band the last few days.

Vanessa comes back across the room and motions for Brooke to sit up on the side of the bed. Brooke obeys and Vanessa gets down on one knee.

"If you want another engagement ring, we can do that, but this one will do for now. Brookie, I love you more than anything in this world that isn't named Avery, Alexandria, and Ramey," she says with a wink and Brooke giggles, tears forming in her own eyes, "will you do me the honor of marrying me again, Mary?"

Speechless, Brooke just nods. Vanessa puts the ring on her wife's finger, gives her a kiss, and then climbs back in bed. 

"I love you, Ness." 

"I love you, too, Brookie."

On day six, Brooke gets a call from the oncologist.

"This is Brooke," she says, answering immediately.

"Hi Brooke, it's Dr. Campbell. I have your test results, do you have a moment?"

Emotions run through Brooke's body because  _ yes she does have a moment _ . She has as many as the doctor needs. 

"Yes, yes I do." She breathes quickly. 

"Well Brooke, I am very pleased to inform you that the mass is benign, meaning it is  _ not  _ cancer."

Brooke breathes a sigh of relief and more tears collect. 

_ I'm not sick.  _

_ I'm not dying.  _

_ I need to call Vanessa. _

She wraps up the conversation with the doctor about the next steps, she has to come in for a follow up, but that  _ doesn't matter  _ right now because she is not sick and she needs to call her wife. 

She hits the facetime icon next to Vanessa's name and within seconds her beautiful wife is on her screen with her dazzling smile.

"Baby, you ok? Why you cryin? Did you get the results?"

Brooke just nods and hundreds of emotions rush through Vanessa.

"It's benign, Ness, it's not cancer!"

Vanessa lets out a cry of relief and a thank you to God in Spanish. They stare at each other for a minute, sharing  _ I love you's _ .

"So, Ness," Brooke starts, "you sure you wanna marry me again?" 

Vanessa nods so quickly that she almost gives herself whiplash, "yes, blondie, I sure do."

~*~

Their second ceremony was a lot smaller than their first. Brooke and Vanessa opted for just them and the kids and their parents for a small vowel renewal in their own backyard. There were no poofy dresses, they both wore simple white sundresses. They dressed the girls in light purple and Avery in his best little shirt and tie. He led his sisters out of the house and down to stand with Brooke’s mom while Brooke’s dad and Vanessa’s mom walked their girls down the “aisle” for the second time. 

Their vows were short, just small expressions of love. Plus, they knew that the kids would lose interest quite quickly if it was too long. 

“Vanessa, when I met you, I knew that you would change my life forever. Here we are, 13 years later, and I still love you like I did back then. From that night at the club, to our move to New York, to your accident when I didn’t even know if you would be okay-” Brooke still gets choked up about what happened that night years ago when they first moved here, “but you were, and we got married. We have babies, something that I never thought I would do if I’m being honest. I’m just so happy with our life and I love you and our little family. Thank you for giving me forever.”

Vanessa dabs at the tears in her eyes before she speaks, “Brookie, I love you. More than I ever thought was possible. I knew you were special the night we met, when we asked each other silly questions instead of- other stuff.” Vanessa blushes when she realizes what she said in front of people, but then realises she doesn’t care, “I will always love you, I’ll always be beside you. Thank you for putting up with my crazy butt ‘cause I know it ain’t been easy!” Vanessa’s voice got louder and louder with her last sentence, causing their parents to laugh. “I love you Brookie.”

Vanessa is so emotional she just can’t get anymore words out, the officiant announces them married,  _ again,  _ and they kiss. Their three kids seated in the front row let out a dramatic  _ “Ew!”  _ each, resulting in everyone else to laugh. 

Brooke shakes her head at the silliness and pulls Vanessa close to her. Vanessa rests her head against the taller girl’s chest and she is calmed by her heartbeat. 

“You’re my happy ending, Brookie,  _ always. _ ”


End file.
